of the box, rolling around, sound as though they’re
hard so they must have been rolling around here for
some time. Filthy mice! Ugh! Mustn’t tip
them out in front of this dotty old bugger George.
He’d only go out and eat them.
Though why not? Here you are,
dear, stick this paper like she says, you know,
and here are some little sweeties for you, ho ho.
Yes, they’ve all got them now, madam.
Kept back the best brush and glue for myself, well,
I’m better at it than them. I can do more.
Now let’s get two of them organised as I did
yesterday. A team or syndicate. That’s the best
way, then we all get the most out of it. Ron,
shall we do it the way we did it yesterday?
I know all about your arse, Ron, I know, I weep
for your poor old arse, but what can I do? If
you do the gluing at least you don’t have to
go reaching all over the table for the roll
of paper, do you? Come on now, Ron darling,
you know you’ll only dwell on it otherwise, what
have you got to lose?
That’s it, Ron, that’s the ticket. Look, you have
this brush and glue, it’s the best one, my one.
Yes, the best. You’ll be all right
with that, you’ll do a good job, Ron.
Now what about you, Mrs Bowen, are you going
to join us as you did yesterday? Hope so, as
I’m not speaking to that bitch Ridge again, and
the other two are dummies.
Certainly you can do the rolling again, dear,
Ron will do the gluing and I’ll do the cutting.
So we’ve got three rollers between us and they
can keep going round, or rather back and forth
between you and Ron.
I’m sorry to seem to be ordering you around, but
someone has to do the organising, don’t they?
Off we go, then.
Hope Ron is going to be able to do the gluing
properly, it was his fault last time, he’s the one
who should take the blame for what she was saying.
Keep my arms working and moving, so that they don’t
get still and stiff and set, ah.
My book will have to wait until after this work has
finished, have to wait.
My eyes are not what they were, still, I collected
over seven hundred pound for the Blind Club, they’ll
see to my eyes, for that, not seven hundred all at
once, of course, over the years, over the years,
silver paper from chocolate and milk bottle tops
and other things.
That was when we were living near Southend. I could
have collected for the Lifeboat, but I preferred
to collect for the Blind. Ted did, too, he didn’t
want me getting mixed up with that lot who collected
for the Lifeboat, there were some
unpleasant women amongst that lot, and men, too, and
Ted said he couldn’t afford to get in with the wrong
lot, what with this new job that we’d gone down there
for in the first place, it was such a good job, a
chance in a million, and I thought he might be right,
and it turned out he was, after not so very long.
And he did so well as a rep for Stevensons, Ted, you
have to cultivate just the right sort of people in
that sort of job, and he was so successful at it that
within five years we moved out of Southend and had our
own little bungalow out at Thundersley, a new one, up
on the top of Bread and Cheese Hill, funny name,
all our friends used to remark on it, and laugh,
we had lots of friends then, they’d call round
just when they felt like it to see us, life
seemed so busy then, I joined the Women’s Institute,
and did the flowers for the Church on the
rota, time seemed to fly by doesn’t
now
I’m getting so annoying
fat, through not working, not getting enough exercise
in this place. Still, all my life my weight
was slowly going up, all the time, all the more to
love, Ted used to say, bless him, oh!
Only time I came down a bit in weight was when they
cut my womb away, God knows what they didn’t cut
away as well, saved my life, they said, but I’ve
never felt the same again, I’ve heard others say
that it made a new woman of them, but not me, I’ve
never been the same, I can truthfully say I miss
what they cut away, I’m not the same woman without
it. Oh, I’m alive, that was successful, yes, they
would call it a success.
You’re doing famously, Mrs Bowen. What a rate
we’re going! Oooh, I’ve made a rhyme!
Ron, dear, could you please be a little more
sparing with the glue? You heard what House
Mother said about being careful, you know!
His hands now,
I thought it was his arse, arthritis sounds like
it ought to be a disease of the arse really.
That’s a comical idea, my Ted would have laughed
at that one!
Well, just try, Ron, you know what she’s like
if she’s crossed. For your own sake, not mine.
Good for you, Ron.
It was still like country out there then, that
was why we chose the bungalow there. One Sunday
afternoon while it was still being built we went
to a fair, it was a real country fair with local
people, not one of these shady travelling affairs,
here today and gone tomorrow, it was real old-
fashioned, it reminded me of when I was a little
girl. They even had that competition for children,
bobbing they called it, where they had to find a
sixpence with their mouths in an earthenware dish
filled with flour. Their faces, how everyone
laughed at their faces! I remember going in for
that myself when I was about six, and crying at not
winning, tears running through the flour on my
cheeks, until the man who was judging it sorted
out the sixpence with his fingers and gave it
to me to make up for not winning the prize,
which was half-a-crown, I think. A lot of money.
They also had a grinning match through horse-collars,
very old-fashioned that was, you don’t
see that nowadays. It was so good to be back in
the country again, I was so glad that Ted had got
himself that job. I tried to be a good wife to
him, did special things for him to show that I
loved him, special things.
Then there were more bungalows
built, the country was creeping farther and farther
away, soon it meant getting in the car if
we really wanted to see the real countryside, we
were luckier than most in having a car at all, a
little Ford. We’d go out of a summer evening to
a country pub and have a drink, be quiet for a