Dream released one more shuddery sob, sniffled, and wiped tears from her face. “Yeah …” She cleared her throat. “Sorry.”
“Good.” Alicia gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “In a minute I’d like you to tell me why you did this, but first I think we ought to get up and move farther away from the road.”
Dream looked past her knees and realized for the first time how close she was to the yellow line separating the road from the shoulder. “I guess this is a little dangerous.”
Alicia got up with her, keeping a hand on one of Dream’s elbows. Dream wobbled a bit as she got to her feet, but Alicia managed to keep her upright. Then they clasped hands and walked slowly back to the Accord. The rest of its passengers were still inside, watching them with what Dream imagined was a new understanding of her boundaries. Perhaps they would be more sensitive now, less willing to tamper with her already fragile sense of emotional stability.
Or maybe it was just fear she was sensing.
Or anger.
She experienced a flash of guilt, became aware of a gray cloud gathering in her brain, a vague numbness that normally preceded the onset of a bad depressive episode. She was seized by a sudden impulse to apologize. Never mind that her abrupt deviation from the interstate might well have prevented a catastrophic highway accident. She’d done the right thing, something she recognized intellectually-but that didn’t matter.
She’d frightened her friends.
They were probably upset with her.
Could be they even hated her. Why not? There was a lot of hate going around. Hell, she had plenty to spare, most of it self-directed.
It was stupid.
Senseless.
But there you go.
The Accord’s dome light was on, and Dream saw that its remaining occupants were still arguing, albeit in a somewhat less heated manner. Dream wanted to shake them all, make them come to their senses, see that they ought to treat each other better and with more respect. Yeah, right. She’d have an easier time preaching tolerance at a white supremacy rally.
They reached the Accord and Dream slumped down on its hood. Alicia stood in front of her, her arms crossed over her chest. “Now we should talk, girl.”
Dream sighed. “How could Dan have done this to me, Alicia?” Her eyes moistened again. “Why do these terrible things keep happening to me? All I want is a normal life. All I want is somebody to love me. Why can’t I have that?”
Now it was Alicia’s turn to sigh. “Honey, I know you’ve had a rough time. Trust me, though, this really isn’t the time to deal with this.” She paused. “And I think I ought to do any driving there might be left to do tonight.”
But Dream couldn’t let the question go. Not yet. “Why, Alicia?”
Alicia shook her head. “Shit, you’re really going to make me do this, aren’t you?” She took a deep breath. “This keeps happening to you because you’ve never gotten over that insufferable little asshole in the backseat.” She raised a hand to stifle Dream’s protest. “Don’t insult me with your denials. I know you, girl. Here’s a hard truth, sweetie, and I want you to take this to heart. Whatever you saw in him originally is gone. He lost his humanity the moment that World Lit frump popped his cherry. He became like every other loser you’ve ever attached yourself to-obnoxious and full of himself.” She released a big breath. “It’s time you moved on, Dream.”
Dream pouted, breathed a petulant sigh. “Why can’t I attract a real man?”
Alicia’s voice was thick with frustration. “Goddamn, Dream. The only real man is one who’ll treat you with respect and dignity. It’s high time you got clued in to that.”
Dream flinched. “Oh …”
“Sorry.” Alicia continued in a softer tone. “Try to really listen to me and stop being such a little drama queen. I know you, Dream. You’re better than that.”
Dream looked away from her friend and didn’t say anything.
The discourse on Dream’s failed romantic life was brought to a merciful end by the sound of the others getting out of the Accord. Chad Robbins, hands in his pockets, sauntered over to where Alicia was standing. “She okay?”
Dream gasped at the sight of Alicia’s hand snapping hard across Chad’s startled face. “No, motherfucker, she’s not okay. Now go away!”
Chad adjusted his glasses, rubbed his stinging flesh, and said, “Well, so much for the caring, sensitive approach. Fuck both of you.”
Shane Wallace shook his head at all of them, swung his legs over the guardrail, and disappeared into a stand of trees. Karen Hidecki reached the gathering at the front of the car and staggered to a slow halt. “Shane’s taking a leak. I would, too, but I don’t wanna go in the woods.”
Chad snorted. “The toxic twosome. One day pictures of your livers will be shown to middle-school students as a warning on the dangers of alcohol abuse.”
Karen frowned. “How’d you get to be so mean, Chad?”
Alicia looked at him. “I’d like to know the answer to that myself.”
Chad smirked. “Lots of people would like to know what makes me tick. I’m just a fascinating guy. But I have a few questions of my own I’d like answered, starting with where the hell are we and why are we here?”
Dream said, “Somewhere a little east of Chattanooga. And we’re here because a few of my friends stopped acting like civilized human beings.”
“And once again the unassailable Dream Weaver, she of the single stupidest name in recorded history, laughably attempts to place herself on the moral high road.” The mocking tone, a stable of Chad’s verbal arsenal, had long ago lost its ability to sting. What was shocking to Dream was the unadulterated anger in his voice. This was something new, these outward displays of hatefulness. “Allow me to remind you of a few key things, your highness. One, tricky maneuvers involving automobiles and hairpin curves are best left to professional racers. They certainly should not be performed by unmedicated manic-depressives, especially not by PMS-ing manic-depressives. Two, and I think I should emphasize this as dramatically as possible…” Here his voice rose drastically in pitch. “YOU ALMOST GOT US FUCKING KILLED, YOU STUPID FUCKING BLOND BIMBO BITCH!”
Karen Hidecki said, “Whoa … oh, wow …”
“Chad,” Alicia said, calmer than Dream would ever have imagined her friend being under circumstances such as these, “I know you don’t give a damn about anybody’s feelings but your own, but I’m telling you to keep a lid on your bullshit. Otherwise I’ll have to hurt you. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”
Karen turned her sullen face away from the line of trees. “You’ll have help, too.”
Then her gaze went back to the impenetrable darkness of the forest. Heartache was evident in every nuance of her posture and facial features. She exuded regret in a way that was almost a physical presence. It was painful to observe.
Dream slid off the Accord’s hood and approached Chad, who instinctively backpedaled a step. She took a grim satisfaction in the look of utter surprise on his face. Well, he would be surprised, of course-a genuine act of confrontation would be the last thing Chad would expect from her.
She stepped right up to him. “What did I ever do to you, Chad?” She strove to make her voice as calm as Alicia’s, hoped to fill it with even a fraction of that same withering quality. “I really would like to know, because I’ve never been anything but a friend to you. I’ve supported you through every crisis in your life. I’ve been your shoulder to cry on when girlfriends left you. I’ve thought about it, really dredged my fucking memory, and I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done to warrant this viciousness. But obviously there’s something I’m missing. Please do me the favor of telling me what it is. You owe me that much.”
Chad glared at her for another long moment, then the hardness went out of his face, like air escaping from a balloon. His shoulders sagged and he suddenly seemed very tired. Like the rest of them. “Okay” he said, sighing. “There is something.”