I must have seemed like one sad case. I couldn’t speak their language or any other language they knew. I carried no weapons. I didn’t know how to make tools out of flints or sew a fur parka or set up a snare for a wolf or stampede a herd of mammoths into a trap. I didn’t know anything, in fact, not a single useful thing. But instead of spearing me on the spot they took me to their village, fed me, clothed me, taught me their language. Threw their arms around me and told me what a great guy I was. They made me one of them. That was a year and a half ago. I’m a kind of holy fool for them, a sacred idiot.
I was supposed to be here just four days and then the Zeller Effect rainbow would come for me and carry me home. Of course within a few weeks I realized that something had gone wonky at the uptime end, that the experiment had malfunctioned and that I probably wasn’t ever going to get home. There was that risk all along. Well, here I am, here I stay. First came stinging pain and anger and I suppose grief when the truth finally caught up with me. Now there’s just a dull ache that won’t go away.
In early afternoon I stumble across the Scavenger Man. It’s pure dumb luck. The trail has long since given out—the forest floor is covered with soft pine duff here, and I’m not enough of a hunter to distinguish one spoor from another in that—and I’m simply moving aimlessly when I see some broken branches, and then I get a whiff of burning wood, and I follow that scent twenty or thirty yards over a low rise and there he is, hunkered down by a hastily thrown-together little hearth roasting a couple of ptarmigans on a green spit. A scavenger he may be, but he’s a better man than I am when it comes to skulling ptarmigans.
He’s really ugly. Jeanne wasn’t exaggerating at all.
His head is huge and juts back a long way. His mouth is like a muzzle and his chin is hardly there at all and his forehead slopes down to huge brow-ridges like an ape’s. His hair is like straw, and it’s all over him, though he isn’t really shaggy, no hairier than a lot of men I’ve known. His eyes are gray, yes, and small, deep-set. He’s built low and thick, like an Olympic weightlifter. He’s wearing a strip of fur around his middle and nothing else. He’s an honest-to-God Neanderthal, straight out of the textbooks, and when I see him a chill runs down my spine as though up till this minute I had never really believed that I had traveled 20,000 years in time and now, holy shit, the whole concept has finally become real to me.
He sniffs and gets my wind, and his big brows knit and his whole body goes tense. He stares at me, checking me out, sizing me up. It’s very quiet here and we are primordial enemies, face to face with no one else around. I’ve never felt anything like that before.
We are maybe twenty feet from each other. I can smell him and he can smell me, and it’s the smell of fear on both sides. I can’t begin to anticipate his move. He rocks back and forth a little, as if getting ready to spring up and come charging, or maybe bolt off into the forest.
But he doesn’t do that. The first moment of tension passes and he eases back. He doesn’t try to attack, and he doesn’t get up to run. He just sits there in a kind of patient, tired way, staring at me, waiting to see what I’m going to do. I wonder if I’m being suckered, set up for a sudden onslaught.
I’m so cold and hungry and tired that I wonder if I’ll be able to kill him when he comes at me. For a moment I almost don’t care.
Then I laugh at myself for expecting shrewdness and trickery from a Neanderthal man. Between one moment and the next all the menace goes out of him for me. He isn’t pretty but he doesn’t seem like a goblin, or a demon, just an ugly thick-bodied man sitting alone in a chilly forest.
And I know that sure as anything I’m not going to try to kill him, not because he’s so terrifying but because he isn’t.
“They sent me out here to kill you,” I say, showing him the flint knife.
He goes on staring. I might just as well be speaking English, or Sanskrit.
“I’m not going to do it,” I tell him. “That’s the first thing you ought to know. I’ve never killed anyone before and I’m not going to begin with a complete stranger. Okay? Is that understood?”
He says something now. His voice is soft and indistinct, but I can tell that he’s speaking some entirely other language.
“I can’t understand what you’re telling me,” I say, “and you don’t understand me. So we’re even.”
I take a couple of steps toward him. The blade is still in my hand. He doesn’t move. I see now that he’s got no weapons and even though he’s powerfully built and could probably rip my arms off in two seconds, I’d be able to put the blade into him first. I point to the north, away from the village, and make a broad sweeping gesture. “You’d be wise to head off that way,” I say, speaking very slowly and loudly, as if that would matter. “Get yourself out of the neighborhood. They’ll kill you otherwise. You understand? Capisce? Verstehen Sie? Go. Scat. Scram. I won’t kill you, but they will.”
I gesture some more, vociferously pantomiming his route to the north. He looks at me. He looks at the knife. His enormous cavernous nostrils widen and flicker. For a moment I think I’ve misread him in the most idiotically naive way, that he’s been simply biding his time getting ready to jump me as soon as I stop making speeches.
Then he pulls a chunk of meat from the bird he’s been roasting, and offers it to me.
“I come here to kill you, and you give me lunch?”
He holds it out. A bribe? Begging for his life?
“I can’t,” I say. “I came here to kill you. Look, I’m just going to turn around and go back, all right? If anybody asks, I never saw you.” He waves the meat at me and I begin to salivate as though it’s pheasant under glass. But no, no, I can’t take his lunch. I point to him, and again to the north, and once more indicate that he ought not to let the sun set on him in this town. Then I turn and start to walk away, wondering if this is the moment when he’ll leap up and spring on me from behind and choke the life out of me.
I take five steps, ten, and then I hear him moving behind me.
So this is it. We really are going to fight.
I turn, my knife at the ready. He looks down at it sadly. He’s standing there with the piece of meat still in his hand, coming after me to give it to me anyway.
“Jesus,” I say. “You’re just lonely.”
He says something in that soft blurred language of his and holds out the meat. I take it and bolt it down fast, even though it’s only half cooked—dumb Neanderthal!—and I almost gag. He smiles. I don’t care what he looks like, if he smiles and shares his food then he’s human by me. I smile too. Zeus is going to murder me. We sit down together and watch the other ptarmigan cook, and when it’s ready we share it, neither of us saying a word. He has trouble getting a wing off, and I hand him my knife, which he uses in a clumsy way and hands back to me.
After lunch I get up and say, “I’m going back now. I wish to hell you’d head off to the hills before they catch you.”
And I turn, and go.
And he follows me like a lost dog who has just adopted a new owner.
So I bring him back to the village with me. There’s simply no way to get rid of him short of physically attacking him, and I’m not going to do that. As we emerge from the forest a sickening wave of fear sweeps over me. I think at first it’s the roast ptarmigan trying to come back up, but no, it’s downright terror, because the Scavenger is obviously planning to stick with me right to the end, and the end is not going to be good. I can see Zeus’ blazing eyes, his furious scowl. The thwarted Ice Age chieftain in a storm of wrath. Since I didn’t do the job, they will. They’ll kill him and maybe they’ll kill me too, since I’ve revealed myself to be a dangerous moron who will bring home the very enemy he was sent out to eliminate.