“I’m jacking, Betsy, you’ve got to know I’m jacking it now.”
“Back up toward me, I need to feel those balls when I come. I need a heaping handful of hot hairy balls! Don’t turn around.”
Cardell backed toward her and stood with his legs parted and felt her hand enclose his balls and tug on them.
“Big warm balls,” she said. “You’ve got a lot of come in these, I can tell.”
“I’m close, Betsy!”
“Come all over my coffee table, baby, just shoot it every-where.”
“Betsy, no, I can’t come on your coffee table! Those are your husband’s hiking magazines.”
She spoke in a quiet voice. “You’re right. Then close your eyes tight and turn around.”
“Okay.” He turned, and just before he closed his eyes he saw her with her legs jackknifed back, propped against the arm of the couch, and the screwdriver in one hand and her other hand pincering.
“And now sit on my foot.” She held her foot in the air so that Cardell could rest his weight on it, as if he were astride a bicycle seat. “Nestle yourself right down on my foot. Push on my leg. Ooooh, yeah. I like to see your balls squashed and hanging like that around my foot. Can you feel the ball of my foot against your cock root?”
“Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, yes,” said Cardell.
“You like to see me push this in?” She squinted. “It hurts a teensy bit when it goes back in, and then it locks, and it fills my hips so good.” She jiggled the screwdriver. “Come for me now. Come very slow now, slow down right on my open cunt. Press your hot butthole against my heel. Oh, that’s it, fucking press it and jack it for me. Blow that load!”
He made a strangled shout and put his full weight down on her foot, feeling her heel against his ass. A torrential comeload pitched from his cock and landed on her stomach and thighs. “It’s silver,” he said, catching his breath.
“I told you. All silver. And now I’m going to put my legs all the way back, all the way, and tickle my ass so it’s like an eye staring right at my finger, and I’m going to frig myself now and think about you watching me and coming on me. I’m thinking about the vampire count’s cock filling my bowels, oh, my ass, my ass is so freaking hot.” She slapped high up on her thighs with a pat pat sound.
“Come for me, you sweet sexy thing,” said Cardell.
“I’m almost there, I’m almost there!” She arched. “I’m there, ah, ah, AAAAAH, hoof hoof hoof.” She lay splayed, tired, smiling.
“That was fun,” said Cardell.
“It was,” said Betsy. “Maybe I’ll just give my husband a quick call and tell him about it.”
“You should,” said Cardell.
“Could you put the screwdriver back in the tool belt on your way out?”
Luna Fucks a Penis Tree
Luna woke up in the House of Holes Hotel. She had a great contentment bubbling inside her like the little bubbles that you see when you shake up a bottle of salad dressing.
“So,” said Lila to Luna, when Luna wandered into her office after a shower. “What is your plan for joy today?”
“I feel pretty today,” said Luna.
“You are pretty,” said Lila.
“My breasts feel heavy and flirty. Do you want to see them?”
“Yes, of course, always,” said Lila. “But let me call in a man so he can see, too.”
“No,” said Luna, “just for you.”
Luna lifted her clean, pale-blue shirt and scooped her bra up slowly, letting her breasts fall and bobble.
“They do look heavy,” said Lila. “And flirty.”
“Do you want to feel them?”
“Sure.”
Luna walked toward Lila and arched her back and leaned forward. Lila thumb-tweaked both of Luna’s nipples at the same time, which made Luna shiver. “As hard as little erasers,” Lila said, “erasing all inhibitions.”
“Lila,” said Luna, “I want to be fucked so many ways right now I don’t know where to start. I’m beside myself. In the shower I thought, I want to be fucked by a tree!”
“Well, now,” Lila mused, “we do have Jason’s Woods. That’s where we get the hardwood for our salad bowls and our Dendro line of peckerwood dildos. Have you tried a Dendro dildo?”
“Can’t say I have.”
“Then you’re in for a treat. Anyway, what I’ve been told is that some of the older pearwood trees have had their branches cut so often that they’ve developed semihuman traits, and now they are known to exhibit sexual desires of their own. There’s a man in there, Jason, who makes the bowls. He’ll know the grove of pearwoods I mean. Daggett can buzz you over there in a cart.” She pressed a button. “Daggett, we need you, hon.”
“Thank you, Lila,” said Luna.
“Your pleasure is my pleasure. Where is Daggett? He’s a little slower because he misses his cods. Oh, I should say: You’re going to have to let Jason hold your breasts, I think. He can’t make bowls without inspiration.”
“I can live with that.”
Daggett drove Luna in silence down a long curving path, past the lake. The wildflowers gave way to lilac and forsythia, and then there was a salt marsh, and then suddenly they were winding through deep silent woods, with mica chips of sunlight sparkling through the leaves. Finally they came to a clearing and a small well-kept shingled house, painted green. “I’ll leave you to it,” said Daggett with a wink. “Just give Lila a call when you want me to pick you up.”
Luna knocked. A tall scruffy man in a leather apron came to the door. His hands were black with stain. His eyes had a crinkly honest look. “I heard you were on your way out here,” he said. “Did Lila tell you I make bowls?”
“Yes, and she said I’d probably have to let you fondle my breasts, and I just want you to know I’m okay with that.”
“Good. Well then, let’s do that first, shall we? You’ll have to help me clamp my hands. Can I get you some green tea before we get down to it? Or some home brew?”
“Home brew would be good, thanks.”
“Okay, well, why don’t you scoot your pants a little ways down for me.”
“My pants?”
“I think, yes. I need to experience curving shapes to make my bowls. What lovely hips.” He cupped her cameltoe for a moment. “Do you like to eat salad? I do.”
Luna nodded, stepping out of her pants.
“Turn around, please, so I can have a look at your—”
“Panties, or no?” She turned.
“Panties are fine. Oh, my. Don’t move. Bend forward just a little.” Jason walked across his studio and unhooked a very large salad bowl from the wall. He stood behind her and pressed the bowl around her ass. Then he leaned against the bowl, humping at it with his hips. Luna felt well and truly cupped. “Now that’s what I call a Cobb salad,” he said.
Luna touched the smooth, perfect grain of the bowl. “This is lovely. Who inspired this?”
“Oh, a woman Lila sent me a few months ago. Her name was Jackie. She tried out some of my dildos, and I made three huge bowls in her honor, and then of course she went on her way. Those were the last dildos I made. I make friends with women, and it’s nice, but they just don’t want to live out here in the woods with me. They want be in town.”