I release the hair that binds him, and it turns to ash. “Sorry, I’m not that merciful.”
We stand over him, as if no one can believe we actually did it. I certainly can’t. I keep waiting for him to pounce and Curse someone, but all he does is shudder. He can’t even get up. Levi stands next to me. “What are you going to do with him?”
I pull a frog eye from my pocket. “Send him back to your grandmother.”
“She won’t be happy.”
“And I’m supposed to care?”
He smirks. “No, but I’ll be out of a home.”
I conjure a door to Blossom Ridge, and we roll him through and shut it. Old Lady Black should find him soon, but she’s no match for us Hemlocks. Maybe she’ll think twice before messing with us again.
Once Jeff is gone, my whole world tilts for a second. What now? But one look at Nana, her smile free of pain, and I know everything will be fine. She holds out her hands, and I run into them like I did when I was little. She strokes my hair, now streaked with white, and her tears wet my shirt. “You wonderful girl.”
“No one will take you from me,” I say. “No one but time, at least.”
She laughs. “I think this calls for pudding, don’t you?”
I nod. “Lots and lots of pudding. And maybe even cake.”
Everyone heads inside, but I can feel Levi’s eyes on me. He lingers by the gate, waiting, wanting . . .
Hoping.
I walk toward him, my head held high. He bites his lip, his dark gaze soft. There’s something different about him. Something missing. His shoulders aren’t as tense anymore, like the weight on his conscience has been lifted.
“Seems like you needed me after all,” he says.
“Just not in the way you wanted.” I look at my feet and stuff down my pride. “Thank you. For letting me go, and for protecting us when the time came.”
He sighs, and all the hope goes out with it. “I’m too late, aren’t I?”
I glance up at him, and he’s so beautifully sad I almost want to tell him it’s never too late. I want to take his hand and make it all better. I want him to smile. But I can’t forget the darkness he holds inside, the shadows that would haunt us forever. I have enough darkness to deal with already—I can’t shoulder his burden as well. I don’t want to.
“I’m afraid so.” My heart aches, the full reality of Winn leaving finally breaking through. “I want Winn, Levi. I really do. I’ve known him for years. I’ve adored him for months. That’s not something I can magically get over, even if I can’t have him. Even if he lied to me.”
He sucks in a breath and nods. “Well, it was worth a try. Hate to say you’re probably making the right decision.”
I snort. “What are you going to do now?”
“Probably start by visiting Abby. I’ll be safest there.”
“Makes sense.” It feels weird saying good-bye to him, but right, too. “Take care, okay? And if you’re ever in a bind, you’re welcome here.”
He hugs me, but this time all the sparks are gone. He’s just Levi. The boy whose fate is tied with mine, but not the boy I want to be with. “Thanks, Jo. For everything.”
I wave as he passes through the gate and disappears.
FORTY-NINE
Even under the freeway, we can’t escape the summer heat. Gwen, Kat, and I lick at Popsicles. The cool grass tickles my arms. A mosquito flies overhead, and Gwen zaps it with a flick of her finger. She giggles. “That will never get old.”
“Seriously,” Kat says.
“I would say it’s already old, but I don’t miss the mosquito bites.” I throw my Popsicle stick at her. “Though I’m kind of jealous the white-hair side effect looks like highlights on you. I just look middle-aged.”
“No way.” She shoves me. “It looks like you had a few chunks bleached.”
Kat pulls out more grass, her hands unable to keep still. “You look punk.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I’m so hard-core.”
“Hey,” Gwen says. “You are pretty badass. Don’t tell me you already forgot what happened a few months ago.”
I sigh, wishing they wouldn’t bring it up. I am proud of what I did. I mean, I love having real sisters, that I get to share my whole life with them, that we get to learn and grow together. I adore having my dad around. I’m grateful every day that Nana is still alive and well. But there’s something missing. Someone missing. I’m not sure the feeling of loss will ever leave now that I’ve given up a piece of my soul.
“Hello?” Kat waves a hand in front of my face.
I jump and then cringe. “Crap, was I doing it again?”
“Longing for Winn?” Gwen lies down and crosses her legs. “Yup. Aren’t you ever going to talk to him about it?”
Now I’m the one picking at the grass. “What am I supposed to tell him?”
“Uhh, the truth?” Kat says.
I want to talk to him. I really do. Nana said I could, that we shouldn’t blame him for what happened in our shared past. But every time I try, I can’t even make it up the lane to his house. What if he’s already moved on? I’m too afraid to find out. “I wish—”
“Jo!” Dad calls from the house. “Get in here! You have a letter.”
“Coming!” Dad has been trying his best to cheer me up with favorite foods and, yes, even a car, but I think he knows that I won’t ever be the same. “What is it?” I ask when I get inside.
He holds up the envelope. “I don’t know, but it’s from an L. Anderson.”
My eyes go wide and I grab the letter, ripping it open. I can’t imagine what he’d send, but it must be important.
Dear Josephine,
I know I’ll hate myself for this, but it will make you happy and that will have to be enough for me. I looked into Cordelia Black, and it turns out she’s listed as a traitor in the Black records. There’s no death date, but she and her Shadow, Phillip Carter, ran away after refusing to hunt down—wouldn’t you know it—the Hemlocks.
I’m thinking that clears lover boy, but it still doesn’t answer my questions about why he’s different. I think you’ll have to get the rest of the story from him. That’s all I got.
Take care,
Levi
P.S. You so owe me for this.
I put my hand to my heart, its pounding threatening to break down my rib cage. Winn. He said I’d never forgive him, and yet Levi’s words prove that his family was on our side. Clearly, I am missing something huge.
“Jo, are you okay?” Dad asks.
I walk past him, nodding. “I’m going to Winn’s.”
“It’s about time!” I hear Nana call from the apothecary. “Bring him back when you’re done so I can hear the story, too.”
“Fine.” I roll my eyes, though I guess I should be glad she isn’t going to spy on us.
I take my car, mostly so I have time to compose myself. When I pull up in front of his house, I still have no idea what to say, but my feet walk forward until I’m standing at the doorstep. Somehow I manage to knock, and I know those are his footsteps coming to answer.
The door opens, and his stormy blue eyes meet mine, shocked. He’s tanner, probably having spent every day in the fields since we parted. His mouth is still the most beautiful in existence. He doesn’t speak, and now that the surprise is gone all that’s left is sadness.
“Cordelia didn’t kill Fanny?” I say.
He gulps. “She may as well have.”
I frown, holding out Levi’s letter. “But the Blacks say she was a traitor, that she refused to hunt us and ran away.”