“What did you think?”
“I thought he was nuts. Why did I train ten years if not to help us win a war?”
“So what happened?”
“He cried and told me about the families we wrecked, about the innocent children we murdered. He made me watch Dwight Eisenhower’s speech on the military-industrial complex. He was convinced the biggest threats to America weren’t external, that rich special interests were devouring our Republic from the inside. And all this was before Trump. When Trump was elected, he got drunk and said ‘They finally did it! The serfs picked their new king.’”
“Sounds like he watched a lot of fake news.”
“Maybe so. But I loved him and agreed not to join the Army.”
“What did you do instead?”
“Became a teacher. I picked first grade so I could reach students while they were still young enough to believe what I said.”
“But you kept shooting?”
Paige’s eyes narrowed and she didn’t answer right away.
“Obviously, I kept shooting. You train to do something your whole life, you can’t just quit.”
“You said you were bored with paper targets, so I just wondered what you shot at instead.”
It took me a moment to realize I’d gone too far, but before I could retract the question, her eyes went blank and she looked away.
“I’m starting to think we shouldn’t bother trying to hold the DC,” Paige eventually said. “The south wind is getting stronger and pretty soon either fire or smoke will drive us away. Maybe it’s better if we leave the place on our terms.”
The image of wandering from town to town, the two of us against the world, imbued me with such confidence that I ignored good sense and leaped. “I don’t care where I end up,” I said. “As long as it’s with you.”
She looked at me like a bug, like a pest that needed swatting. Her lips arranged themselves into a pitiful smile.
“You’ve lost your mind.”
“Maybe I have.”
It was no surprise when Jimmy didn’t come back on Monday. As tired as we all were, the motivation to return for longer-term supplies had surely diminished. But by Tuesday, Ed and I were convinced something had gone wrong at Marie’s house.
“Maybe I should walk back there,” said Ed in the evening after Paige had come down from the roof.
“That would be brave,” she said, “but also pointless.”
“Because they aren’t worth saving?” I asked.
“Because Jimmy and Bart were well-armed. If they ran into trouble, it didn’t end well.”
“If we stay here much longer,” said Ed, “it’s not going to end well for us, either.”
Anthony had been standing at the open dock door and walked over when he heard us talking.
“We may face another battle soon,” he said. “I have seen some heavily-armed civilians in the crowd. They seem to be scouting our defense.”
“I haven’t seen anyone out back,” said Paige.
“Still, we should be careful. I don’t think anyone should leave the campus until we’re all prepared to go.”
“Just so we’re clear,” I said, “our weapons are part of the reason you’re able to adequately defend this place. If me and Ed decide to leave, that’s our business.”
Anthony’s eyes narrowed and he stared at me while silent seconds elapsed. This was the moment of truth: Either I had earned enough respect for him to take my challenge seriously, or I hadn’t.
“Very well,” Anthony said. “You should be in control of your fate. But if you choose to leave, I don’t think you should approach the DC again. The situation outside is too volatile.”
“Fair enough.”
When I looked at Paige, she rolled her eyes. She underestimated me. Just like they always do.
Just like you always do.
For days, the weight upon my mind had been building, the noise in my mind swelling, and after the failure with Paige I knew my time at the DC was coming to an end. There was nothing left for me there except food and water, which would have been good reasons to stay if not for the constant chatter of the crowd, which had begun to sound almost like a ticking clock. Like a bomb waiting to explode.
So I developed a plan. A big, beautiful plan. A plan that began with Ed, whose effortless, casual charm made me feel stupid and unaware. He was a grifter. A liar.
But he did happen to carry an automatic weapon, along with two 30-round clips. Combined with my own clip, that meant 90 total shots, minus the one I planned to use on Ed.
With an automatic weapon and 89 rounds, I could put on a show. Not total carnage but entertaining nonetheless.
If you’re wondering how I lured Ed away from the building, that’s the most brilliant part of the entire story. He did it to himself! On Wednesday night, I agreed to guard the rear perimeter with him, and after a couple of hours of mindless pacing, Ed remembered something I’d totally forgotten.
“You know what?” he said, gesturing toward the looming shadow of the forest. “The rifles Mack and Nick and Aaron dropped are probably still out there. We could use more good weapons if an attack comes.”
“I’m sure Jimmy and Bart grabbed the guns.”
“Maybe. But they were carrying a lot of food. And it was almost dark. I think we should walk over there and check.”
So we did, each of us armed with a rifle and a canvas bag to carry back any guns and ammo we found. The wind blew steadily. An odor of smoke swirled around us. Ed crept across the parking lot and into the grass beyond it, carefully ascending a knoll beyond the pavement. I followed. The silhouette of the tree line loomed like a many-limbed organism ready to absorb any creature that grew too close.
When we reached the trees, Ed slung his rifle over his shoulder and pulled the flashlight from his pants. A moving circle of dirt and fallen leaves and root systems appeared. I watched, transfixed, as Ed voluntarily offered his life. Why wasn’t he more cautious? Why would he trust me?
I could barely hear Ed when he finally spoke, so loud was the shrieking of my skull.
“Let’s see,” he said, pointing. “I think we were more that way. Don’t you? Aiden?”
When he turned around, Ed discovered the barrel of a rifle pointed at his nose from a distance of two yards. The night was so dark he was nothing more than a silhouette.
“Hey, man. What are you doing?”
“I’m killing you.”
“Hey, man. Don’t do that. Not after all this. Please?”
Ever notice how even the biggest jerk turns friendly when bargaining for his life?
“You think you’re so fucking slick. First you tried to move in on Keri, and now you’re doing it again with Paige. Is that your thing? Steal a guy’s girl to make yourself feel like a big shot?”
“What do you mean? Keri adores you, man.”
“The hell she does.”
“And Paige, I mean, she’s not—”
“She’s not what? Good enough for me?”
“She’s not into dudes, man. She likes girls.”
“Bullshit. How would you know that?”
“She told me. We were talking the other night, and I don’t know, it just came out.”
I’m no dummy. I know some women really are gay. But the ones like Paige, they’re too lovely to be that way. It’s like they do it on purpose to deprive men of the chance to be intimate with them.
“Have you been asleep the past few years? We don’t think about women that way anymore.”
I jerked my rifle forward until it was mere inches from Ed’s nose.
“You talk an awfully big game for someone with a gun pointed at him.”
“Aiden,” he answered. “I didn’t say anything. I’m at your mercy. Please don’t kill me.”