“But surely—”
“The only choice we have now is to set off on foot.”
“On foot?” asked Seth. His mind was chaotic, swarming with confusion. He didn’t understand what was happening.
“Larry seems to believe there’s a Walmart grocery warehouse about a day’s walk from here. It looks like we don’t have any choice but follow him there.”
“A warehouse?”
“Yes, and it’s being guarded by someone. We may have to fight our way in.”
“Fight our way in?”
“Maybe you should give the whiskey a rest,” said Natalie. “It’s a long way to go in the blistering heat. It’s going to be hard on the boys, and I’ll need your help.”
“All right,” Seth finally said. “I’m sorry about the lock. I thought I—”
But Natalie had already turned away from him. She disappeared into the hall, and soon Thomas and Skylar followed.
Seth stood there alone with the bottle of whiskey. Humiliated. Shamed.
Somehow, he had to make up for what he’d done. No matter what it was, no matter the sacrifice, he had to fix what he’d broken.
Because the end was coming. It was closer than ever now.
The only question was what form it would take.
THIRTY-FOUR
Watching Seth walk out of the bedroom, carrying the bottle of whiskey, had been like watching a metaphor for her marriage playing out in real time. It seemed impossible Natalie had ever given her heart to this man, and maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe she never really had. Maybe Seth, subconsciously, had always known the truth it had taken her a lifetime to discover.
Maybe you loved me, he’d said, but you didn’t really like me.
It was true Natalie longed for security, that since her father’s death she’d been trying to reestablish equilibrium in her story. But she was no gold digger. She had loved Seth for his humility and his devotion toward her. In a way she was like a prize to him, a victory he finally secured over lifelong self-doubt. She had loved being his prize.
Hadn’t she?
Or had Natalie convinced herself she loved it in order to restore balance? Balance that was impossible to achieve because of her denial about who she really was and who she could really love. She wondered, for the first time, how many lives and relationships had been strained or destroyed because a person was either in denial or purposefully hiding who she was.
While Natalie had sat in bed, listening to the ringing in her ears, she heard voices again. Loud voices. Someone else was in the house.
She found her clothes near the bed. When she pulled a shirt over her head, the smell of smoke and body odor struck her in the face. Why hadn’t she noticed the rank stench of her clothes before then?
Eventually Natalie had walked out of the room and toward the voices, toward the kitchen. There she found Skylar and Thomas and a man she’d never seen before.
“Think about it,” said the man. “A million square feet of food just sitting there. Imagine how many people it could feed.”
“So what’s the catch?” Thomas had asked.
“The building is guarded by employees with guns, which is why Blaise needs our help. His friends have already scoped the warehouse, but they need better weapons and ammo to make an approach. If we help carry it all, Blaise will make sure we’re well rewarded.”
“This sounds like a way to get ourselves killed,” said Thomas. “It sounds like suicide.”
“As if we have a choice,” Skylar said angrily.
“Blaise says there’s a thousand people already waiting outside. He thinks whoever is guarding the place will back down if presented with a real threat.”
Natalie had trouble following the conversation. She didn’t see why any of them would go anywhere with a stranger and his friend when there was already plenty of food here to eat.
“Excuse me,” she’d said. “But what are y’all talking about?”
“We’re talking about our only chance to survive,” said Skylar. The way she had looked at Thomas made it clear something had gone wrong between them again. “Now that all our food is gone.”
“What do you mean our food is gone? There’s a whole room of—”
Thomas looked at her gravely.
“Someone broke in last night,” he said. “They took everything.”
“He left the safe room unlocked,” Skylar offered, pointing at Thomas.
And that’s when Natalie understood what had happened. In another time she might have covered for Seth, might have lied for him. But he had betrayed her too many times. Guilt washed over her, threatened to push her to the floor. The key. The key.
“No, he didn’t,” she said.
“The door was unlocked,” Thomas replied. “When I woke up they were already in the process of carrying it all—”
“It was Seth.”
“What do you mean? How did he—”
“Seth has your key. He went into the safe room for whiskey last night. Seth left the door unlocked.”
After Thomas confronted Seth in the bathroom, the only thing left to do was decide whether or not to go with Larry and Blaise. But there was little room for debate. Thomas offered to turn on his generator, which meant a working pump and a steady supply of fresh water. He could even run the air conditioner. But the idea of dying a slow, comfortable death enchanted no one. Eventually, Thomas agreed going with Blaise was their only realistic chance to survive. He found two backpacks and two large green grocery sacks that had come, ironically, from Walmart. All these bags were stuffed with empty water bottles Thomas had recovered from the trash. Larry claimed Blaise had means to fill them.
Natalie feared for her children. She feared for herself. Every day in Dallas had been hotter than the last, and she didn’t see how they could walk so far under the blistering sun.
“Why don’t we take the car?” she asked Thomas.
“It would draw too much attention from desperate people on the roads. And we can’t all fit. And the gas tank is nearly empty.”
After this Natalie went to the boys’ room and told them what had happened.
“I knew that man wasn’t his friend,” Ben said.
“Which man?” asked Natalie. “You saw a man?”
“I woke up when he was in the house. Thomas told me he was a friend.” “You’re a smart kid, Ben. Both of you are. And now I need you to be the biggest boys you’ve ever been. We have a long way to walk today. It’s going to be very hot. Can you be big boys for Momma?”
She could see the two of them imagining the walk as a great adventure, but their enthusiastic nodding threatened to break her heart into little pieces.
When Natalie returned to the kitchen, Seth was there. He seemed to have composed himself, but he was clearly still drunk.
“I’m here to help this family however I can,” he said. “Even if we aren’t exactly a family anymore.”
There were many things to say, but now was not the time.
“Daddy, I’m hot,” said Ben, who had been glued to his father ever since they left the house. The boys were always drawn to Seth in times of stress and it drove Natalie mad with envy. Only the young could love so blindly. What if they knew their father was to blame for this sudden, desperate turn of events? Would they still believe he walked on water?
“How much farther is it?” said Brandon.
Seth looked at Larry, who was on his left, walking next to Skylar.
“Just a few minutes to Blaise’s house,” said Larry. “But after that we have another, much longer walk.