“Sorry…” Aisha apologized.
Roroa simply said, “Think nothin’ of it,” and waved her hand. “Besides, I’ve never heard of there bein’ multiple saints. In other words, for all o’ the nuns other than this Mary girl, it won’t be happenin’ to them. Even for the saint, sure, callin’ her an offerin’ makes it sound bad, but if a lord does lay his hands on ’er, she’s set to marry into money. I married for political reasons, and I’m plenty happy now, so it’s up for her to decide whether or not she’s happy with it in the end.”
Roroa said that firmly. She really… was a strong girl.
“I agree with Roroa’s opinion,” I said. “I don’t like their methods, but it’s not a system we need to say anything about. I mean, it’s another country’s issue, after all.”
“Well… why do you look so torn up, then?” Liscia asked, looking me straight in the eye.
I put a hand to my head. “What shocked me… was that Mary had accepted she was a saint, and was willing to go along with it knowing exactly what that meant.”
As the meeting was ending, I asked Mary about one thing that was bothering me.
“Madam Mary, do you have no doubts about being treated as a saint? Suddenly being saddled with the dignity of your country, having to appear before a foreign king, and being expected to tell that king, ‘I will offer my body and heart to you.’ It’s too great a burden for one person to bear. I would have thought a life like that would be too cruel for an ordinary young girl to take.”
Mary smiled and said, “By the will of Lady Lunaria, I was blessed with the great honor of becoming a saint. The saint is the face of the Orthodox Papal State. Having been granted this role, rather than live for my own feelings, I want to fulfill the duties I’ve been given. Because that is what is best for the country, and, in turn, for all people.”
“…You’d abandon your self for the sake of others?” I asked.
“It is my natural duty as one who has received a greater honor than most. I would think, as a king, you would understand that, wouldn’t you, sire?”
I was silent.
“Living the way others want you to,” she said. “I believe it is a wonderful way to live, and one I can be proud of. For the people who revere me as a saint, I intend to give myself fully to serving them.”
For the people who revered her as a saint… huh.
She must have believed with all her heart that living the way others wanted her to was a thing she could be proud of. When I saw Mary’s smile, the words of another saint flashed through my mind.
“I may be an empress, but I’m still just a human being. Instead of being worshiped as a saint, I want to remain a person, and to be loved as a person.”
For one, being a saint was something to pride herself on, and she chose to act like a saint.
For the other, she rejected being a saint, and insisted on being a person.
”I would think, as a king, you would understand that, wouldn’t you, sire?” Mary had asked.
Which path will I choose…?
“There was a time… when I thought the same way Mary does,” I said to my assembled companions, as if I were confessing my sins at church. “You remember, right, Carla? What happened during the battle with the forces of the principality?”
“That time, you mean…?” Carla, who had been standing by in the corner of the room, said in a whisper.
I was referring to the time during the war with Gaius VIII and the corrupt nobles when, in order to protect my heart from the pressure bearing down on me, I had walled myself off and tried to focus solely on playing the role of king. If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have been able to bear the weight of all the lives being lost on my orders.
“We’re people, so we suffer due to the size of our responsibilities,” I said. “We’re people, so we agonize over the decisions we’ve made. That time, when I was forced into a war I didn’t want, but that I had no choice but to fight, little by little, without realizing it, I began acting as a system called ‘the king’… like I was a machine. Because if I was a machine, I didn’t have to suffer, or to think and agonize over things.”
“Souma…” Liscia had a worried look on her face, but I gave her a wry smile and shook my head.
“When Carla asked me, ‘Aren’t you afraid to die?’, I realized how warped it was for me to be ready to accept dying as king. Thanks to that, I was able to stop short of it. When I think how things would have turned out if Carla hadn’t pointed it out to me then… I shudder. I could well have ended up like Mary. When I think about that, it makes me feel bad.”
When I thought of what it would be like if a version of me that had become the system called a king had been here now standing in front of Liscia and the others… it scared me.
Could the me who had become able to accept everything because I was the king make Liscia and the others happy?…No, he could not.
”I want to remain a person, and to be loved as a person.”
Yeah… That’s right, Madam Maria, I thought.
If I couldn’t notice Liscia and the others’ tears, if I couldn’t make Liscia and the others smile, even if it meant suffering under a heavy burden and agonizing over the decisions I made…
I didn’t want to become a mere system.
“Yeah. Me, too. I’d rather be a person.”
“Souma?” Liscia asked. “…Eek!”
I got down off of the desk, walked to Liscia’s side, and hugged her slender body tight. My sudden action left Aisha, Juna, and Roroa all dumbfounded.
“Whuh?!”
“Oh, dear me.”
“Whoa, Big Sister Cia, that’s no fair.”
With the three of them staring at us, Liscia turned a bright shade of red, her eyes darting about rapidly. “U-Um… Souma? Could I ask you to let go of me, maybe? This is a little embarrassing… Everyone is watching…”
Liscia said that, but I ignored her and kept hugging her. If she really didn’t like it, I knew Liscia was more than capable of pushing me away.
I held onto Liscia as I said to Hakuya, “I won’t become the holy king. I won’t let the Orthodox Papal State get their way, either. I do have a policy in mind that sidesteps the Orthodox Papal States’ scheme, but… it’s probably only good enough to stall for time. If we’re going to come up with a more fundamental solution to the problem, all the followers of Lunarian Orthodoxy in the country will be a problem. I do hope it can disempower them, or render them harmless…”
“Hold on, why are you talking about serious stuff while holding me like this?!” Liscia cried.
“Hm… In that case, let me handle the countermeasures for that,” Hakuya said. “I have some ideas of my own. I’ll be borrowing Kagetora and some members of the Black Cats for my purposes.”
“You, too, Hakuya! Why are you holding an ordinary conversation?!”
“Got it,” I said. “Let’s bounce ideas off each other and work on our plans tomorrow.”
“By your will.”
“Ignored?! I’m being ignored?!”
“Thanks, I’ll be counting on you. Now then…”
Scratching my cheek, I turned to Aisha, Juna, and Roroa.
“Sorry, but could you leave Liscia and me alone tonight?”
“““?!”””
The moment they understood what those words meant, Aisha, Juna, and Roroa’s eyes all bulged in surprise. And as for Liscia, who had been protesting for a while now…