“You think I can kill Goliath?”
“The oracles are silent of bells. Even the gods, perhaps, are undecided. You see, my dear, you come from a land which worships Yahweh, but you fight a people who worship Ashtoreth. And I, even I, am sometimes divided between them, the Lady of the Wild Things and the Lord of the Mountain-tops. But I think that in all of Israel only you have a chance.”
“Why, my lady?”
“Because you are beautiful and the Great Mother deplores the broken bird, the drowned dolphin. Because you fight for Jonathan, who is dear to Israel, which is dear to Yahweh. Because, for what it is worth, I will fight with you in my heart.”
“The men say you brought green magic from Caphtor. The double magic of sea and forest.” (He started to add: “They also say that you once had wings.” But it would be like saying to one-armed Caspir, “They say that you once had another arm.”) “Is it true, my lady?”
“Magic is knowing the moods of the gods. Which to please and how. Perhaps I have magic with Ashtoreth. Her moods are like the tides or the phases of the moon. She is a goddess but also a woman; a woman but also a mother. Unpredictable but in the end compassionate. With Yahweh, who knows? Being a local god, he is readily offended. I will leave it to Saul to woo his favor.”
“Do you think he will listen?” Supported by Rizpah, Saul had overtaken them. “I have it from Samuel himself that Yahweh has gone from me.” He turned to address David. “My son, your music has brought me peace. I do not ask that you give your life as well.”
His great height and immensely broad shoulders bespoke a time when he had been king in truth, though fevers and madness had wracked him to a shell which even his robes could not conceal. He was old, proud, dying Jerusalem, gray of wall and tower, haggard from many winters, a ghost instead of a presence, but still defended by the Jebusites.
“For a long time I kept my father’s sheep,” said David. “Once a lion came after them and carried off a lamb. I went after him and smote him and delivered it out of his mouth, and I caught him by the beard and slew him.”
Saul shook his head. “Your confidence is admirable, but Goliath could kill a dozen lions.”
“The Lord that delivered me out of the paws of the lion will deliver me from Goliath.” The words did not come easily to him; though born of that pious tribe, the Benjamites, he did not understand his god. But he wished to give Saul a reason to let him fight.
“Go then and the Lord be with you. But first we must find you some armor.” He signaled to the guard in front of Jonathan’s tent: “Bring my son’s armor and weapons. All of it so that David may take a choice.”
Sword, helmet of brass, and coat of maiclass="underline" how could he bear such weight and wield such a weapon, he who had always fought with his hands or at most with a staff?
“They won’t fit him, Saul,” said Ahinoam. “Jonathan is taller and slimmer.”
“What do you know of such things?” Saul asked wearily.
“Was I not with you at Jabesh-Gilead?”
(She is robed in chrysanthemums. Daisies spring when she walks and caresses the earth. And yet she speaks like a warrior…)
Saul gave a little sigh. “Yes, Ahinoam. You were with me then, and now.” He moved as if to touch and perhaps embrace her but, remembering Rizpah, dropped his arms to his side.
(He is still in love with her, but Rizpah is comfortable, and the old need comfort more than passion. It is hard for advancing age to confront eternal youth.)
“I’ve never worn armor before,” said David. He lifted the sword and wished for a shepherd’s staff. (“When I am well, I will teach you to use a sword,” Jonathan had said. “When I am well…”). “No, my lord, I must fight him without armor.”
Saul spoke with puzzlement “But these things belong to Jonathan. The best in Israel next to mine.”
“I would feel as if I were walking on the bottom of the sea. Goliath would trample me into the ground and hang Jonathan’s armor, together with my head, on the walls of Beth-Shan.”
“What do you know about the sea?” The question was almost an accusation.. “Only what I have dreamed. I have never seen the sea.”
Ahinoam took Saul’s hand. “Dreams are often warnings. Trust him, my dear.” Saul removed his hand and pain, like a seagull’s shadow, fleetingly crossed her face. Thus did goddesses grieve beneath their masks.
Rizpah, standing apart from them, smiled her human and pathetic smile. “My father was once a shepherd. He was also a fearsome fighter. Let David do as he chooses, my lord.”
“How do you want to fight him?” Saul demanded.
“The only way I know.” He returned the armor to Saul. “Please tell Jonathan that he has honored me with his offer. I will bring him the head of Goliath.”
Ahinoam embraced him as if he were Jonathan. “My second son, come back to me in triumph.”
“I love your son,” he said. “It’s only for him and you that I can do this thing.”
“And for you, we say, ‘In the midst of battle, remember the sea.’”
Rizpah shyly patted his shoulder; her hand was plump and heavily jeweled with rings of gold and garnet; her robe a garish mingling of red and orange. Beside Ahinoam she looked like a painted and aging whore instead of a king’s concubine; pathetic and therefore lovable.
“My son, may Yahweh go with you,” said Saul, an old man remembering youth. “Now I must get my sling.”
– He went to look for his brothers and found them chatting with a young Philistine across the stream. After a month of waiting to join battle, a camaraderie had grown between the two armies, and, enjoying the benefits of a common language, Philistine chattered with Israelite about the respective merits of Yahweh and Ashtoreth; the hills and the sea coast; sleeping under the sky or under a tent.
“We worship Ashtoreth too,” Eliab was saying, “so long as Samuel isn’t around.”
“You don’t know how to worship her properly,” said a Philistine youth. “You keep your robes on.”
“We have heard that your priests and priestesses disrobe and couple before your very eyes,” Eliab said, with the look of a hungry man.
“And we participate. Men and women, men and men, women and women. Take your pick, so long as you lie with someone you truly love. Why do you think our fields are fertile in spite of the winds from the sea? Because we please Ashtoreth, that’s why.”
“We can’t even enjoy a woman in private-not even a wife — for three days before a battle. And as for a man lying with a man, why, Yahweh would smite them both with a thunderbolt or turn them to pillars of salt!”
The Philistine grinned and clapped a passing friend on the back. “He sounds nice a grouchy old god. He’d do a lot of smiting in Philistia. Sin and retribution and pride. We don’t think about such things. Yahweh says don’t. The Lady says do. I expect she will give us the victory, what with Goliath on our side.”
“He smells. Even across the stream.”
“And steals and rapes. But he sleeps a lot. And he’s better than a hundred chariots. And you without a champion to go up against him.”
“No,” said David quietly.
“David!” Eliab cried. They had not even met since David became the king’s armorbearer, and the big brother was no longer the big man of the family.
“No what?”
No. We’re no longer without a champion. I am going to fight Goliath.“
Eliab and Ozem and Nethanel-and the Philistine across the stream-looked at David as if they did not know whether to greet him as a hero or a fool. In Bethlehem, as the youngest member of the family, he had been a shepherd when his brothers went to war. Now, by the grace of Yahweh, he was the king’s armorbearer; and furthermore, in place of Jonathan, he was preparing to fight Goliath. David was tempted to swagger and play the hero, but a fight in behalf of Jonathan was not an occasion for pride.
“I’ve come for my sling,” he said.
The three brothers gaped at him as if they had not heard his request. Finally Eliab said: