Then Kyle was just a spot on the forest path, dashing back towards his cabin – where, hopefully, all the children inside would still be asleep.
I looked through the cabin window.
Mum sat at the breakfast counter, sipping her coffee.
Bollocks. Do I climb through the window? Or do I feign innocence? My bedroom window was tiny. It was highly doubtful my butt could get through without a park ranger being called in to rescue me like Winnie the Pooh.
I’d have to lie.
I barged through the door like the spirit of all the mornings in the world were singing inside me.
“Morning, Mum,” I called, wiping my sweaty hair back from my face.
She put down her coffee in surprise.
“Amber? What are you doing up? It’s not even six.”
“I went for a run. Before it gets too hot.”
Mum took a sip of her drink. “When have you ever willingly done any exercise?” She looked down at the flip-flops on my feet and narrowed her eyes.
“It’s all this American food. I thought maybe I should try jogging…wish I’d worn proper trainers though.”
“I was going to say.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t my best plan.”
I went to the sink and got myself a tall glass of water. Mum’s eyes were still on me, like I was a maths problem she was trying to work out.
“Where’s Kevin?” I asked. There was a distinct lack of bumchin in the cabin.
“Oh, something camp-related came up, he’s just sorting it out.”
“What’s happened?”
Mum shrugged. “No biggy.”
“Is it to do with the dance?”
“No. Honestly, everything’s fine.”
I was worrying over nothing, I had to be worrying over nothing. Just because I knew what happened last night, didn’t mean the world did. That’s how secrets worked, they were secret.
“I’m having a shower.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you in the hall soon.”
The day dragged. Every minute seemed to mosey its way by, with no care for how much I wanted to see Kyle again. I smiled whenever I thought about the previous night. The parts of my body he touched still tingled and fizzed, like his touch was long-lasting popping candy. I had serene-like patience with the kids all day, as they pulled on my T-shirt, as they messed up my decorations, as they asked endless, endless questions about the evening.
What songs will they play?
Will there be cake?
Jenny said I copied her dress but how could I, I packed it before I even came to camp?
I’ve got paint on my outfit.
Jenny dared me to eat the paint and now I don’t feel well.
I wondered what Kyle was up to. How Dumbledore’s Army were doing, whether they were behaving. If it was too hot for the planned basketball and if they would just swim in the lake instead. Just the thought of the lake made me blush…
I’d never felt so…happy. So excited by the simple act of existing. So glad I was me.
Mum worked me hard in the harsh Californian heat. By the end of the day, sweat dripped into every gap of my body, but the hall looked fantastic. The DJ arrived, pulling some ancient-looking decks on a dusty wheel-along cart behind him.
“I drove all the way from LA,” he told me, like he’d climbed Mount Everest or something.
“Umm, they really want you to play ‘Gangnam Style’,” I informed him.
He pulled a face.
“They’re children.” I called over to Mum. “Mum, can I go get ready now? The dance starts in half an hour.”
“Okay, I think we’re done.”
I jogged back to the cabin, wishing I had more time to look nice. My stomach growled angrily, the usual dinner time had been moved to become a dance buffet instead. I let myself in and quickly showered, before unfolding my dress from my suitcase. Penny had made me pack it.
“Why would I need a dress?” I objected, trying to unpack it, but she’d firmly folded it in again. “Can you just leave my stuff alone, please? It’s camp. It’s in a mountain. I won’t need it.”
“A lady always needs a good dress,” she’d said, her voice all annoying and wise. This was the only wisdom you’d ever get out of Penny… How to be a good woman, a good wife, a good anything-other-than-a-hardarse-feminist.
Now, reluctantly, I was glad she’d packed it. It was from my Year Eleven leavers ball, and it was deliberately very un-ball like, as I totally didn’t understand why all the girls in my year were determined to spend three hundred quid on looking like a Disney Princess for one night. Unfortunately, because Evie and Lottie weren’t at my secondary school and I hadn’t met them yet, I was the only one who’d thought like this. I’d spent the evening feeling morally rigorous, but also very plain compared to all the shiny pastel taffetaed creations my school friends wore. The dress was simple. Dark green, very strappy, quite short, which was more a reflection of my general length than the dress’s general length. It somehow made me look dainty, and my hair look more auburn than ginger, and it made my freckles look classy rather than unfortunate.
I moisturized my legs and shoved it over my head. I had ten minutes to blob on a dash of make-up. My face looked pretty weird in make-up after weeks of going barefaced at camp. Then I twisted up my curls, so they wouldn’t misbehave, and piled them on top of my head.
I looked okay. My inner and outer smiles were definitely a brilliant wardrobe addition.
I wondered if Kyle would like how I looked…
I instantly got annoyed at myself for thinking that.
When I got to the hall, the music was on, the disco lights flashing, and Calvin was at my side.
“Amber, you said you would dance with me!”
“Calvin, you look very dashing.”
He looked so cute I could have grabbed his cheeks and wobbled them. He’d squeezed himself into a white shirt with a red bow tie and used water to comb all his hair to one side.
“Shall we?”
We strode elegantly onto the dance floor, before he grabbed me and jumped me up and down which if all the other kids were an indicator was how ten-year-olds dance to Taylor Swift. I tried to find my friends, and mostly Kyle, in the hubbub.
Most of the boys weren’t dancing – instead doing elaborate knee slides from one end of the hall to the other. The girls looked on, arms crossed, obviously pissed off the boys weren’t being the gentlemen they’d imagined in their heads.
That said, Melody and Bryony had recruited a group of girls to do their own little dance routine in a circle. Whinnie was doling out pizza at the counter. She raised her hand and waved at me. I waved back, mid-jump.
I couldn’t see Russ or Kyle anywhere.
Something felt…wrong in my stomach.
The music faded into a different song.
“Another dance,” Calvin demanded. I tried to smile, and began jumping again, this time holding his hands so he could use me to jump higher. The children obviously thought this was a great idea, as they formed a queue to take a turn doing this with me. I scanned everywhere as child after child grabbed at my hands and swung themselves higher, using my body weight to support them. Mum had changed, into a long black dress; she looked nice. She was chatting with Melody and Bryony. My stomach twisted even more.
Where the hell were Kyle and Russ?
I only caught glimpses of Mum’s face as Charlie Brown swung off my arm.
Mum looking curious.
Mum looking worried.
Mum’s face sinking into that terrifying look of anger she gets when she’s snapped.
Mum storming towards me, gently but forcibly pushing children to one side.
I let go of Charlie Brown.
“Hey,” he yelled, looking like he wanted to stomp on my foot in anger.
“Sorry…I…I…”
Mum snatched my hand and pulled me away.
“What’s up?” I asked, acting innocent. She pulled me into a dark corner, where the lights of the disco highlighted us every ten seconds or so.