«E aí, (insert person?s name), beleza?»: «So how’s it going, great?» or «Opa, e aí?»: «Hey, so what’s up?»
Your response should always be affirmative, even if your dog has just died. Acceptable conversation topics may range from the weather to the most recent episode on the novela das oito.
Step 12. A galera da praia [ah gah leh rah dah ’prrah vah]: After spending a few days at the beach abids you farewell bynd borrowing as many objects as possible, you will have acquired a group of acquaintances. These newly found friends are your galera da praia (beach crowd). A true Carioca will maintain a close relationship with the galera da praia as long as there is sand under foot. Remember: if anyone from your galera da praia bids you farewell by saying, «Aparece lá em casa,» resist the temptation to follow up on the offer without confirming by telephone first, even if they set a specific date. (If you do, you’ll probably be met with a stunned look, and you will end up blowing your cover as a local! Refer to Lesson 5, «Carioca Body Language.») Before leaving the beach, be sure to embrace or kiss everyone on the cheek, saying:
«A gente se vê.» [ah ’gen tche see ’veh]? See ya around?
Step 13. When it's time to leave: When the sun sets either behind the mountains or over the horizon is the only truly acceptable time for a Carioca to leave the beach. Shake out your towels; close up your beach chairs; shut and disassemble your umbrella; put on those T-shirts, shorts and kangas; place all assorted items in the beach bag; kiss the galera and tell each of them you’ll be calling; and pay off the tab with your new buddy — the beer vendor. (Don’t forget to give him a firm pat on the back and a thumbs-up!) Then head slowly for the sidewalk. When you are within five feet of your car, quicken your pace, throw everything in the trunk, remove the cardboard from your windshield, and drive off as quickly as possible. Don’t worry. The flanelinha will only chase you for a few meters, or until he sees another freguês [freh ’gaysh] (customer) pulling out. Then head to your favorite boteco for another round with your galera doboteco (bar crowd).
Other summer activities
Submarine driving: Due to the intense humidity in the summer months, Rio is subject to sudden heavy rains. These deluges seldom last over thirty minutes, and unless you live on a hill or in a valley, they are merely an inconvenience. Naturally, there are a few recommendations to be heeded if you should unfortunately find yourself outside your residence when it rains in Rio:
1. If you have any experience piloting submarines, you shouldn’t have any problem driving your car in Rio when it rains. A Carioca will drive through a flooded road as long as the water level does not go past his windshield. In order to avoid problems in this situation, just keep the clutch depressed with one foot, accelerate continuously with the other, while keeping the other foot (?!) on the brake. That way you won’?t float into the car in front of you, water will not enter your exhaust pipe, and you will save yourself the tremendous headache of dry cleaning expenses.
2. Be sure to keep your windows closed. If you don’t, you might get caught by surprise by a tidal wave produced by a bus. And if you’re not careful and the flood water level should reach the window, your car will sink, consequently ruining your CD collection.
3. If the currents begin to take your car, don’t panic. Just climb on top of your car and reach for the nearest passing tree branch. Then wait for the first person to come around with a boat or a surfboard.
4. Look out for snakes, leeches, rats, and «who knows whats» that often appear on flooded streets.
5. Be on the lookout for «flood pirates,» and do not accept any offers for assistance. If anyone should offer to help, it will probably be a set-up, and you could find yourself minus your possessions and your floating device.
6. If you should be on a bus, great. It is the safest and driest place to be, and it is where you will remain for the next few hours, crammed together with one hundred and ten other people.
7. If you find yourself struck in traffic when the rains hit, stop at the highest point on the road, lock your car, and have a few chopps, perhaps accompanied by a portion of batata frita, at the nearest boteco. Remember to have a cafezinho before returning to your car.
8. If you should be walking in the street when the rains hit, find the nearest dry boteco and have a few chopps? why not make that a few caipirinhas! You won?t be going anywhere anyway.
Leaving town: The true Carioca loves to travel and will even concede his spot on the beach in order to do so. Any of the beautiful beaches along Rio’s coastline — or Brazil’s, for that matter — are favorite Carioca destinations. As far as the Carioca is concerned, though, Paulistas don’t know «diddlee squat» about the art of going to the beach. And for that reason, as a matter of principle, a true Carioca will bypass any of the spectacular Sao Paulo beaches on his vacation if the Paulistas, those locals from his neighboring rival state, are already there.
Lesson 11
Carnival à Carioca
Summer is Carnival time, the Carioca’s (and the world’s!) biggest, wildest, best-known party, and all of Rio swings to the rhythm of the samba. Although Carnival is officially in February, it’s around New Year’s Day when the Cariocas develop the sudden urge to dance the samba.
By beating on whatever is available — tables, pans, matchboxes, beer bottles, glasses, themselves — the Carioca creates a continuous, hypnotic rhythm known as the batucada [bah chew ’kah dah]. You will see and hear batucadas being spontaneously created on buses, at street corners, on the beach, but most often in the botecos where there is a constant flow of cervas or chopps to keep the batucada and samba alive.
To enjoy the madness of Carnival to its fullest, it is essential that you learn how to dance the samba.
How to dance the samba: The real Carioca has the samba bug under his skin and knows instinctively how to sambar [some ’bah] (dance the samba). If when hearing samba music or a batucada you feel your legs wanting to dance, but you don’t know how, don’t despair. It is very simple to learn how to dance the samba. It’s just a matter of shaking your body and moving your feet in the following fashion.
Count one, two, three, four to the beat. While lifting your right arm, take a Step forward with your right foot over your left foot. Now take a Step over to the left with your left foot, bringing your left arm up and around as your right foot takes a back Step followed by the respective motion with the right arm. Are you still in the rhythm? Good. Complete the cycle by bringing your left foot back over the right foot, taking a Step forward to the right, thus beginning a new cycle to the beat.
It’s simple. Just keep those hips moving!