Now that you have the basic samba down, you might want to try the real samba. Just follow the footsteps below, and you’ll be sambando [some ’bun doo] (doing the samba) like a true Carioca in no time.
The samba is a very energetic dance with a rhythm that induces the dancer to shout specific samba words of joy. While dancing, the following should be shouted frequently in order to enhance the feeling of the samba:
ô skindô skindo [oh skeen ’doh skeen ’doh]
ziriguidum ziriguidum [zee ree gee ’doon zee ree gee ’doon]
Obs.: These words have absolutely NO meaning, but they do create a great beat.
What to wear: Anything, or close to nothing, is appropriate to wear when doing the samba. But if you’re a closet queen who has always dreamed of venturing out in public wearing lace and high heels, now is your chance. All your fantasies are acceptable and encouraged. The Carioca woman seems to have a preference for baby dolls and garter belts. Don’t ask why. So boys and girls, just dig into that lingerie drawer, and you will fit right in.
Where to do the samba: An where there is a batucada is a fine place to dance the samba.
The holiday: Cariocas love Carnival, primarily since it is a potential ten- day vacation. The holiday itself is officially on Carnival Tuesday and Ash Wednesday until noon, when the work schedules are supposed to resume. But forget that! Since the Carioca will begin his Carnival festivities a month before Carnival, when the actual event comes around he is so «partied out» he will often take advantage of the holiday to leave town. This pilgrimage will begin on the Thursday night preceding Carnival in order to avoid the Friday traffic. No one is really expected to show up at the office on Ash Wednesday at noon, and on the Thursday and Friday after Carnival nothing really happens. Therefore, the Carioca will return to town on the following Monday at noon in order to avoid the Sunday night traffic.
Those diehards who have a passion for the samba school parades and participate by joining a school or two every year will return to Rio specifically for that event, then quickly go back to their vacation spots after their night of glory is over. This leaves Rio free game for the Carnival-loving Cariocas, the tourists, and those of dubious sexual preference.
Ziriguiduin!
Lesson 12
The Carioca Winter
Winter in Rio lasts for a week. A bad winter will last for two.
What to wear: When the street thermometers register 18 °C (65°F) you will finally have that long-awaited opportunity to wear all those sweaters, jackets, and boots you bought in Buenos Aires before arriving in Rio. Wear them all at the same time, and you will fit right in. A Carioca would.
What to do: See Lesson 10, «The Carioca Summer.»
Lesson 13
Health Problems Carioca Style
The true Carioca believes he is never alone and that all aspects of his life are governed by spirits, both good and evil. Although predominantly a Catholic country, the Carioca will not hesitate to call upon any number of these spirits for comfort or healing.
If you should find yourself ill, or in need, while visiting Rio, do as the Carioca does. Before calling the nearest doctor, go to your local newsstand and pick up a guide to simpatia [seen pah ’tchee yah], a healing ritual always preceded by a prayer to a favorite spiritual guide (a guardian angel, patron saint, or guru).
In order to receive full benefits through simpatia, it is important to note the following guidelines before commencing down the road to well-being:
The objective of your simpatia should be honest and not prejudice anyone or anything.
Love conquered through occult healing forces will not last forever — between three to seven years.
Never attempt a simpatia within twenty-four hours of serious hanky-panky.
Abstain from alcohol and sex for seven days after exercising any form of simpatia.
No simpatia should be practiced during the waning moon.
Never permit the presence of children or pregnant women when performing a simpatia.
Adhering to these few simple rules, the next Step is to simply look up your particular malady in your simpatia guidebook and carefully follow the instructions. After all, it can’t hurt, it’s free, and it will probably take your mind off whatever it is that is bothering you. The following are a few examples of common physical, emotional, or mental ailments you, too, might possibly cure by turning to simpatia.
To remove warts: At night, take a piece of slab bacon to an ant hill. Rub the bacon over your wart three times while saving, «Disaparece, veruga» [dee zah pah ’rreh see veh ’hoo gah] («Disappear, wart»). Put the bacon inside the ant hill and leave without looking back. Soon your wart will disappear.
To cure baldness: Clip hair from your armpits, placing the hair in a glass. Add one spoon of honey and two of Coca-Cola (Pepsi will do) and mix it together into a paste. Light two candles by the glass and let it sit overnight. Note: If one of the candles goes out during the night, this simpatia will not work. The next night, rub the mixture in the glass on your head, leaving it on for two hours. Your hair should begin to grow on the full moon of the third month after your application.
To cure a pimple inside the nose: If a pimple should develop inside your nose, gently run your fingers on the outside of the area where the pimple is developing. Heat a small white rag by holding it against a pot of boiling beans. Wring out the rag and twist it in such a way as to insert it in the nostril. Leave it on the pimple for a minute and remove. Heat the rag and repeat the process three times.
To cure allergies: Make cotton balls equalling the number of birthdays you have celebrated. Put the cotton balls in a metal container, wet them with alcohol, and light them. When the flames have extinguished, inhale the smoke, immediately collect the ashes which have remained in the container, throw them into running water, and carefully wash your hands and the container. (Be sure to place the lid on the alcohol and remove it from the area before lighting the fire.)
Simpatia is a handy cure for most anything that might ail you. To protect a home from jealousy or to find a lover for a widow are just a couple of the reasons why a Carioca will turn to simpatia. The following are examples of problems you, too, might have, but never knew how to solve:
To find a rich spouse: Gather three shells from the sea, three strands of your hair, three pieces of red ribbon, and three cloves of garlic. Wrap them together in a piece of white cloth. Go to the sea and throw it in the waves while focusing your thoughts on that rich man or woman you’ve had your eye on (but who doesn’t know you exist).
To receive long-awaited money: Locate a frog’s home and check to see if the animal is in there. If it is, cover the hole and say, «I will only open your home when I receive the money that I am waiting for.» When the money is received, free the frog. It is important you remember to do this since, if you don’t, it is certain that you will have seven years of bad luck.