Carioca telephone body language: Incapable of speaking without exuberant hand gestures, a Carioca will always carry on phone conversations in a standing position, thus avoiding broken cafezinho cups, tipped over water glasses, or smashed lamps. Even though the person on the other end of the line can’t see you, just keep those hands flying and you, too, will be earning on a phone conversation like a real Carioca. conversation, and the special effects will be activated.
Beijinhos, tchau tchau (Little kisses, bye bye): Don’t think those kisses and hugs are dispensed of while on the phone. Even if you can’t make that all important physical contact, it is imperative you send it over the lines. There are only two acceptable forms in which to terminate a Carioca phone conversation, and neither one is «good-bye.» Use either the more formal or more intimate version, and you, too, will be signing off like a true Carioca.
«Beijo» [’bayjoo]: «Kiss» (casually intimate) or
«Um abraço» [ah ’brrah soo]: «A hug» (more formal)
The correct response for both:
«Outro» [’oh trroo]: «Another»
A word about cellular phones:All Cariocas have cell phones. They just do. And for good reason. Cells are convenient, prepaid services are accessible to all, and the reception is usually pretty good. So the next time you’re at the beach, waiting in line at the bank or supermarket, in a movie theater or a quiet restaurant, and you need to make a call, simply pick up your cell, and dial the number. And remember! When someone answers, speak LOUDLY. A Carioca would.
Using a Carioca public phone: If you should find yourself needing to make a quick call while you are out and about, and you’ve run out of credit on your pre-paid cell, don’t worry. You will find a public phone conveniently located on many of the city’s busiest street corners. When using it, proceed in the following manner:
Step 1. Look for a big, ear-shaped object. If you’re lucky there will be a phone inside. This is the public phone, or orelhão (giant ear), as affectionately referred to by the locals.
Step 2. Buy a cartao telefônico (phone card). No need to dig into pocket for some coins here. Orelhões live on cartões telefônicos, which can be purchased at most newsstands, post offices, and pharmacies. Note that the times you need to use a public phone will coincide with the times that you are out of cartões telefonicos, which, for some reason, tend to be in the middle of the night when a newsstand, post office, or pharmacy is not handy or they are all closed. A true Carioca will always have on hand a few cartões telefônicos.
Step 3. Wait in line. In the time it took for you to find a place to buy a cartão telefônico, and get back, a line of people needing to use the service will have formed.
Step 4. When it is your turn, insert the cartao telefonico in the appropriate slot, and dial your number. Hopefully, the intended party will answer, at which time you should firmly insert one finger in your ear, hold the mouthpiece to your lips, and shout your message as quickly as possible.
Step 5. After a few moments you will hear a click, and the line will go dead. Don’t put down the receiver. If you do, the person behind you will think you have terminated your call, will demand his turn, and you will be required to repeat Step 3.
Step 6. Repeat Step 4.
What you won’t hear on a carioca orelhão
«Please deposit 75 centavos for the first three minutes, Sir.»
«If you want to stay on the line, please deposit 25 centavos for the next three minutes.»
«Please find your change in the appropriate slot.»
«Thank you for using our services. Have a nice day.»
Lesson 16
Carioca Romance
If you are taking a vacation for romance, you have come to the right place. Cariocas are very high on the World’s Most Romantic People list, and the promise of romance is in their music, in the way they talk, and the rhythm of their walk. Go ahead. Loosen up that stride and practice your body language. You never know. You could meet that special someone right here in Rio.
How to get a date in Rio: Single, married, young, or old, it is second nature for the Carioca to always be on the lookout. Making contact with a new person specifically for romantic purposes is a personal challenge the Carioca meets with great enthusiasm, creativity, and guts. When the opportunity presents itself it takes precedence over all. Consider the following scenario, for example:
You are late for an important business meeting and are stuck sitting in your car while stopped at a traffic light. The cross traffic is intense, making it impossible to run the light. You can either stare straight ahead and stew about the time you are wasting, or you can do as the Carioca does: In first gear, keep one foot on the clutch while the other accelerates. Check out all the cars around you for an interesting gata. If you see one, honk your horn a few times in an attempt to make eye contact, and when the light changes, squeeze in behind her and flick your high beams (at least five times). If you are lucky, you will be exchanging phone numbers at the next stop light!
Of course, you could take a lesson from one particular Carioca gentleman who met two of his wives by provoking «fender-benders.» He insists that the satisfaction of meeting these women far outweighed the damages to his car.
No need for women to be left out in the cold either. One certain well-known woman who, noticing a gatão walking his dog on the sidewalk in front of her building every day, ran out and bought a similar dog. The next day she simply stopped the gatão on the sidewalk, suggested their dogs meet, and it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. So get out there, be seductive, and take a look. Opportunity is probably knocking right under your nose.
Setting up the Carioca date: Rio offers many sophisticated restaurants and night clubs where you can drop a wad of bills and impress that special someone. On the other hand, by romancing Carioca style, your wallet will suffer less, and your new status as a
Carioca will remain intact. The following is a suggestion for that special night out on the town:
Arrange to pick up your date at 8:30 p.m.
Call her at 8:45 p.m. to verify that the date is still on.
Arrive at her building at 9:30 p.m. and take the elevator up to her apartment. Upon entering her front door, be sure to kiss her mother, her aunts, her sisters, and her grandmothers on both cheeks and to shake hands and pat backs with her father, her brothers, her uncles, and her grandfathers. Don’t forget to make contact with the maid, as she will ultimately have the final word on whether you are simpático (nice) or not.