Although Brazil’s currency is currently the real, just to complicate matters you will come across two versions of the ten real bill that differ in color, texture, and artistic motif. Both are in circulation and worth exactly the same thing. As to coins, you will come across two versions for each value that differ in color, size, and artistic motif. Both are also in circulation and worth exactly the same thing!
Are you thoroughly confused with all this? That’s OK. Just read on.
Due to the lingering taste of galloping inflation and Brazil’s hefty interest rates, Rio is populated by approximately ten million economists. If you want to keep the value of your funds in check like a true Carioca, it’s very simple. Just peruse the newspaper on a daily basis for the current dollar and euro exchange rates. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to keep an eye on the current TR, TRD, TBF, CDB, DI, CD-DI, TBC/TBAN, IGP-M, IGP-DI, FIF, IPC-DI, INPC, IPCA-FIPE, IRF-M, TJLP, CPI, etc.
Other «currencies»: Now that you are confident about the value of your bills and coins, it is necessary to understand how to use them. Memorize the following words and phrases, put them to use, and you, too, will be dealing with money like a real Carioca:
cheque voador [‘sheh kee voh ah ‘doh]: a flying check that never lands (also known as cheque-borracha);
cheque-bumerangue [‘sheh kee boo meh ‘rrayn gee]: a check that is intentionally filled out incorrectly and thus keeps coming back to you;
cheque especial [‘sheh key shpeh see ‘yahl]: a line of credit that covers cheques voadores and cheques-bumerangues.
Imagine, for example, that you are in a local store and you find a pair of shoes that you can’t live without. When you inquire as to the price, it will, of course, be quoted in reais [hay ‘eyesh]. At this point, the Carioca will place his right index finger on his right cheek, roll his eyes, and ponder the issue at hand. By paving with three predated checks, he will get clobbered with a healthy interest on his cheque especial. If paid by credit card in six easy installments, it will cost a percentage more, but depending on the day the card payment is due, the Carioca might save a substantial percentage off the interest he is already paving on his cheque especial. There is always the option of making a dozen installment payments, in which case, hedging his bet on a decrease in interest rates, he just might come out ahead. So how much did those shoes cost after all?
Consequently, a Carioca never really knows how much money he has or how much he is spending. He just knows that he is earning too little and spending too much and adjusts his life accordingly. A true Carioca will never have more than a little change in his pocket. At least three credit cards with different due dates and a few cheques voadores are the best weapons with which to keep up with expenses.
Remember: a real Carioca never despairs over financial matters. After all, there is nothing that a day at the beach can’t cure. Besides, that is one thing that’s free.
Lesson 8
Cariocas on Wheels
Now that you have a few bills and coins in your pochete, it’s time to get out and enjoy this beautiful city.
By automobile
Have you ever dreamt you were behind the wheel of a Formula One race car, experiencing the thrill of overtaking another car by only a hair? Have you ever participated in a demolition derby? Great! You will feel right at home. Now is your chance to forget everything you ever knew about caution on the highways. Just keep in mind that driving in Rio is extremely fast, aggressive, and creative. Then put the pedal to the metal, and go for it!
The following are a few observations that might be useful to the novice — and not so novice — Rio motorist. Adopt them and you, too, will be driving like a true Carioca.
Speed Limits: Sure there are speed limits, but who’s checking? When in Rio drive as fast as you like, but always keep your eyes open since you are not the only one going over one hundred kilometers per hour! If all of a sudden the speeding car in front of you slows down to a snail’s pace, resist the temptation to fly on by. It’s a sure sign that a pardal [pahh ’dawl] (speed trap) is in site. Speed on through and you probably won’t get stopped, but you can rest assured a healthy ticket, courtesy of the local DMV, will be delivered to your door in no less than six month’s time.
Parking: Parking in Rio is «permitted» wherever there are no traffic policemen. (Downtown tends to be a little tricky!) It doesn’t matter if it’s on the sidewalk or in the middle of the street. Being a true Carioca you will simply deposit your car wherever it will fit.
Finding a convenient spot to deposit your car on the busy streets of Rio takes creativity. Therefore, in order to park like a true Carioca on wheels, it is imperative that you master the following acceptable Carioca parking methods:
1. The One-Wheel-on-the-Sidewalk Procedure
2. The Screw-the-Pedestrian Procedure
3. The Door-Dinging Procedure
Acceptable carioca parking methods
When your parked car blocks someone else’s, it is a common courtesy to leave the parking brakes off. That way the blocked driver can simply push your car forward or backward, or bounce it sideways, thus making his exit. Just remember, if you are triple parked you might find your car sitting by itself in the middle of the street when you return.
When parking your car anywhere in this city, you may be approached by some dubious looking individual who will offer to «tomar conta» (take care of) your car. This person is known as a guardador, or flanelinha, and can be easily identified by the flannel rag hell be waving frantically, as well as his aggressive behavior. It is advisable to give him at least the equivalent of a dollar in order to avoid any trouble. Giving him less than that or nothing may get him angry, and you’ll run the risk of finding your car liberated of its antenna or scratched upon your return.
At night, in front of major night clubs or theaters, parking in a flanelinha’s area might cost you the equivalent of ten bucks, although bargaining is acceptable. A true Carioca will go to great lengths to avoid paying a flanelinha.
Unless you are interested in subsidizing the car trade on the border, it is wise to always lock your car. The Carioca motorist will invest in several intricate locking systems and alarms in an effort to thwart even the most cunning and devious car thieves.