They went around the corner, and André motioned them into a long narrow room with two bunk beds on one side and two twin beds on the other.
“So which bed do you want?” the man asked, glancing over his shoulder as he gripped her bag.
Whichever one you’re in, she wanted to say, but fortunately her voice still wasn’t working so nothing came out.
The two bottom bunks were taken, as was one of the singles, the sheets partway pulled up, bags cinched and leaning against the wall. Someone had left a pink travel toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste on a washcloth by the pillow. Julia figured it was safe enough to do what everyone else was doing and leave her stuff out; nobody wanted her tank tops anyway. Her passport and valuables she’d give to André to put in the hostel safe.
She walked over to the farthest single bed, back against the wall, and dropped her shoulder bag.
“I guess this one,” she said, surveying the room to keep from straying back to the man’s chest. It was like there were magnets attached to her eyeballs. It wasn’t her fault they couldn’t be stopped.
“Good choice.” The man dropped her pack next to the bed and extended a hand for her to shake. “I’m Blake.”
“Julia.” His skin was warm, his whole hand enveloping hers. She couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like for him to hold her. Not just her hand, casually like this, but all of her. Completely. To feel his whole weight pressing against her. That wanting he’d spoken of—could it be her?
Danny had always held her like she was something fragile, pulling back like he might hurt her somehow. But Julia didn’t want to be safe anymore.
She wanted to be shattered.
Her hand rested in Blake’s a moment too long, and she wondered what it would feel like to be his for a night. It wouldn’t be delicate. They wouldn’t worry about breaking each other. It was as though somehow she knew from his handshake alone that there was nothing he did halfway. The thought sent a shiver from her fingertips all the way down her spine, a mix of excitement and nerves.
But it was impossible. Or at least improbable. What she wanted couldn’t change who she was. Julia had spent eight years dating her best friend’s brother as together they supported Liz through the most difficult time of her life. Even if Liz was better now and Danny, too, had moved on, Julia had been through too much with both of them for her to ever fully let herself go.
Especially not with a strange man, in a foreign country, five minutes after randomly meeting in a hostel so far from home it felt like it was balanced on the edge of the world.
Or maybe that was exactly why, for once, she could.
André ushered Blake out, but before he left, he stopped by the door and turned.
“Care to join us for a beer by the pool?” he asked.
Us. She felt her stomach plummet, her fantasies dashed against the rocks. Obviously he was there with his girlfriend. This was a pity invite, trying to be nice to the new kid who looked so forlorn.
“Oh, I don’t want to interrupt,” she said hastily, reaching for her bag as though she had a million things to do at four p.m. in a tiny border town where she didn’t know a soul and could barely say hello.
“It’s not interrupting.” Blake smiled broadly. “We’re just a bunch of bludgers hanging around. Jamie and his girlfriend, Chris, are Aussies like me, Lukas is a Dutch photographer, and Dana’s from Ireland. She just left for the bus station, but if she can’t get a seat tonight, she’ll be back soon.” He rattled off their names and Julia didn’t hear anything in his voice that sounded like spoken for.
“Oh,” Julia said. Both her brain and mouth still seemed to be broken. Blake gave her a look that hovered somewhere between a smile and a smirk.
“Tough decision?” he asked, like he could read the thoughts running through her mind. Like he knew exactly how good-looking he was and expected her to jump all over him.
Well, not this girl. She’d been on a bus for the whole day and what she really wanted was to relax. To sit by the pool with a nice cold—shit.
Yes, she very much did want a beer.
“Give me five minutes,” she said.
“Take your time. André’s rules about the dorms are strict, so I’ll meet you in the garden before I’m kicked out for improper behavior.”
“For improperly carrying my bag?” The edges of a smile danced around her lips.
“Improper actions, improper thoughts.” He grinned. “You never can tell sometimes.”
“André’s got a busy job if he’s making sure everyone’s thoughts are clean.”
“Not everyone’s. Only the ones who look like they might be up to something dirty.”
His crooked smile made the heat rise to her face. Just how far was she going to push this flirting?
But the question was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “And who might those people be?”
“Oh, I think you’ll know when you see them,” he teased. It was a good thing he’d stepped away from her bed. Everything he said in that accent sounded like an invitation to fuck.
Julie was about ready to fling herself backward on the mattress and drag him on top of her. But that would not be practical, respectable behavior befitting a high school math teacher now one day into her thirties. She smoothed down the front of her tank top, conscious of how thin the material was and how short her shorts. The outfit was perfect for the heat, but now that his eyes were on her…
“I’ll keep a lookout. Wouldn’t want to run into anyone…” she paused, choosing her last word carefully. “Dangerous.”
His blue eyes flashed. “I felt it was my duty to warn you.”
“And I do appreciate your concern.”
The look they shared lasted a beat too long before he closed the door, telling her to come out to the garden whenever she wanted. Julia’s long hair crested down her back from where she’d pulled her ponytail out. But it was like he had suddenly blown on the back of her neck, making her shiver in spite of the heat.
Julia grabbed her toothbrush, soap, and bathing suit and made her way to the bathroom, grateful the hallway was clear. She didn’t want anyone to see how pink her cheeks were in the bright bathroom light. She splashed cold water on her face to tame the flush and reapplied a trace of eyeliner to deepen the brown in her eyes.
God, what am I doing?
The face in the mirror pouted innocently back. Just having a drink with some fellow travelers—so what?
Yeah right, she scoffed. A drink with one “fellow traveler” in particular who looked straight out of a magazine and here she was changing from not much clothing into even less. She tied the straps of the bikini around her neck and back and pulled on the bottoms, surveying herself in the mirror. Sea-foam green with delicate white patches like clouds rode high on her breasts and low on her hips, which she covered—barely—with a thin crocheted sarong. It was the kind of outfit she never, ever would have bought for herself if Liz hadn’t insisted on taking her shopping before her trip.
“It’s my birthday present to you,” Liz had said as she nodded approvingly at her friend in the dressing room mirror. “And a present to all the guys who are going to lose themselves as soon as you step onto the beach.”
Sure, it fit her well. But maybe a little too well. With almost everything exposed and the rest concealed just enough to let the imagination run wild, she felt more naked than if she were preparing to meet Blake and his friends with nothing on at all.
The thought made her squeeze her thighs together as a tremble rippled down her spine. What was she thinking? It was just a drink. And with a group of people—she wouldn’t even be alone with Blake.