This was it. Today was the day.
Quietly he slipped on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt while Julia slept. On his way out, he stopped at the front desk to get them a later checkout time so they could stay as long as they wanted until the bus.
Then he went to procure them some breakfast. Who wouldn’t like waking up naked in bed, wrapped in soft sheets, to a delivery of hot coffee, fresh tropical fruit juice, and pastries? He lingered for too long over the counter, picking the ones he thought she’d like best. An apricot puff with vanilla pastry cream. A chocolate croissant marbled with cherries inside. He could practically taste the sugar on her lips.
It was still early, though, so on his jaunt back he stopped at the computers in the hotel business room for a quick check. He figured he should pop in and wish everyone a happy new year, see how his mom was, and find out whether Anderson had responded to his previous emails—even though Blake wasn’t expecting much to be happening over the holidays. Really he wanted to give Julia a little more time to sleep, knowing that if he hung around the hotel room, he’d be too impatient about spending his last hours with her to let her rest.
If he was honest with himself, he needed the time, too. He hadn’t given any thought to what he was going to do next. He could barely wrap his head around the bus ride to São Paulo. And after she got on that plane?
He logged into his email. After was after. He’d deal with it then.
He had a few general happy new year emails from friends, a quick note from his mom saying everything was fine, no reply from Anderson, an update from the assistant director he set aside to read more carefully later, and an email from Jamie with the subject line, Ahoy there, mate. Blake clicked it open, hoping to hear that his friends were doing well in Chile and getting ready for their final flight home.
What he saw made his chest squeeze and his heart thud. Something thick and sour rose in the back of his throat and he wanted to log out, shut down the computer, get up and keep walking like he’d never stopped. If only he could pretend that he hadn’t seen what was on the screen, everything would be fine.
But instead he sat there, frozen, rereading the email as though he didn’t trust the words. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he ended the session and sat there until a German man in a loud floral shirt asked if he was done. Blake apologized quickly and left.
All the way back up to the hotel room, something hammered away in the pit of his stomach. He opened the hotel room door and got straight to work. He had to pack. He had to get his stuff together.
And then he had to leave.
Julia awoke to a sudden banging and groaned. Not daylight—it wasn’t fair! She wanted to sleep forever. What was that noise?
She gathered the sheets up across her chest and sat up sleepily. Bang. Blake slammed a drawer shut.
“Too early for noise.” She yawned. “Mmm, do I smell coffee?”
“On the dresser,” he said without looking up.
She sat up straighter. “What’s going on, Blake? The bus isn’t until four—we have plenty of time.”
“Yeah, I gotta go sooner than that.” He balled up a pile of T-shirts and stuffed them in a bag.
It felt like someone was lining up to punch her in the gut. But the hit hadn’t connected yet, because Julia didn’t understand what he meant.
She just knew that for some reason, in a matter of moments, there was going to be pain.
“Blake?” she asked.
He straightened his back. “Have you seen my trainers?”
“Blake, what are you doing?”
“Shit, can you see if they’re under the bed?”
“Blake!” she practically shouted, trying to make him snap out of it. She reached for one of the hotel robes and wrapped it around her, suddenly aware of how naked—how vulnerable—she was. “I thought you were coming with me to São Paulo.”
For a moment he stopped, one sneaker hanging out of his bag, the other still in his hand. “And do what? Spend all that time stuck on a bus to wind up in a city where I don’t want to go?
“We were just talking about this last night. You said you wanted to take me to the airport. You said you didn’t have any plans.”
“Yeah, well, something’s changed.”
“Apparently it has.” She stared at him in disbelief.
“What does it matter? You’re going home anyway.”
“Is that what this is about? Me going home? Talk to me, Blake,” she pleaded as he hastily crammed clothes into his bag. “Where are you going?” Her voice sounded small in her ears.
“Santiago. No point going to São Paulo when I can get a flight from here.”
“Well aren’t we Mister Practical.” She swung her legs around so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Blake, will you slow down a minute? Why Santiago? Why are you so upset?”
“I’m not upset!”
“Like hell you’re not!” Julia gestured at the room, which looked like a tornado had torn through it. In all his packing, he’d made the place a mess.
“Something’s come up,” he said with exaggerated patience, as though talking to a child. “Believe it or not, there are things I have to do that aren’t about you.”
“That’s not fair, Blake.”
“No, not fair is waking up to a note and half your bank account gone.”
“What are you talking about?” Suddenly she realized. “Oh my god—Santiago. Did something happen to Jamie and Chris?”
Blake shoved the contents of the bathroom counter into his bag. She didn’t bother pointing out that he’d taken her toothpaste, too.
“She left,” he said.
“What do you mean, she left?”
He shrugged like it was no big deal, but he was a terrible liar. “I got an email from Jamie this morning. They were going to Chile and then flying out later this month and she just…up and left. With Lukas,” he added like an afterthought, and Julia felt her heart stop. Shit. So that’s what this was about.
“I thought Lukas was going to the Pantanal,” she said carefully, still trying to put the pieces together.
“He is. With Chris.”
“So what, Chris is traveling with Lukas and then meeting up with Jamie for their flight?”
“Don’t you get it, Julia?” He turned on her in exasperation. “Chris is gone. She isn’t going back to Australia. And she isn’t going back to Jamie.” Blake leaned against the bathroom counter, his back to her. “I thought they were joking,” he said quietly. “When they said that in the bar by the river that night, I thought they were joking.”
Julia stood, but she didn’t reach for him. She felt herself poised taut on the narrow tight rope line that connected them. She had to walk carefully, but she didn’t know how.
“Jamie’s in Santiago now?” she asked.
“He got on the plane to Chile like they were going to, an empty seat beside him the whole time. His flight to Australia isn’t for another two weeks, and it’s expensive to change it.”
“So you’re going.”
“Yeah.” He locked eyes with her through the mirror. “I’m going.”
“I guess this is good-bye, then.”
“I guess it is.”
The silence between them dragged on, Julia standing behind him, both of them looking at each other through the bathroom mirror. She took a deep breath. This was going to be okay, because it had to be. That was all there was to it.
“You’re a good friend,” she sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted. “I’m surprised he asked you to come, but I understand needing to help. It’s good of you to be there for him.”
Blake frowned in the mirror and his eyes darted away.
“Wait.” Julia took a step back, wrapping the bathrobe tighter around her. “He did ask you, didn’t he?”
“What does it matter?” Blake said quickly, turning around to face her. “Obviously I need to go.”
“Blake, you know I’m the last person who’d ever say ditch your friends. But no, there’s nothing obvious about it.”