Frederick pressed the tip of his own dagger against the side of Jack's neck. “All right, then let us pass or this prisoner dies!”
“I think he means it!” said the second guard.
Without warning, the first guard threw the spear he'd been carrying. It struck Frederick in the chest, causing him to drop his dagger and stumble backward, gasping.
“Wow!” exclaimed the first guard. “First try!”
“Frederick!” shouted Roderick.
“Frederick!” shouted Maverick.
“Maverick!” shouted Rick.
“What?” asked Maverick.
“Look what happened to Frederick!”
Randall and Jack forgotten, the three Ricks hurried over to their comrade, who was still stumbling backward and gasping. His feet slipped, and he fell on his back, hands clenched around the spear.
“I'm a goner,” he said, weakly. “I can feel the life draining from my body...”
“That's not your life,” said Maverick, “that's blood.” He considered that for a moment. “Oh, I see your point.”
“Didja see that?” the first guard asked his partner. “First try! You saw it, right? Did you see the way I threw that thing? Got him smack dab in the chest! Go, team, go!”
Randall and Jack just stood there, unsure what they should be doing.
“I know my time is drawing to a close,” said Frederick. “At least I can go out knowing that I died for the Cause.”
“Well, not really,” Maverick corrected. “We were just down here to get back the necklace.” Roderick elbowed him in the ribs.
“Goodbye, my friends!” Frederick said. “Oh, how I wish I would be there to see you all in your old age ... to watch you get married, have children, share good times and bad...”
“Could you maybe speed it up a bit?” Maverick asked. “Your last words are very important to us, but we kind of have a situation here.”
Frederick coughed. “I've still got a good three minutes left in me,” he said.
“We can't wait three minutes!” Roderick insisted.
“A lifetime of friendship, and you won't stay with me three more minutes?” Maverick asked.
“Okay, okay. Fine. Talk.”
The second guard nudged the first. “If you'd really hit him as well as you're bragging, he wouldn't have three minutes left.”
“Yeah? Well, let's see you try and hit one of them.”
The second guard flung his own spear at the Ricks. It missed Roderick, Maverick, and Rick, and struck Frederick in the chest two inches from the other spear.
“There go my three minutes,” winced Frederick, just before he died.
“You're pathetic,” the first guard told his partner.
“I know,” the second guard admitted with a sniffle.
The three Ricks turned around to face the guards. “We will have our revenge,” said Roderick. “Someday soon. Just keep looking over your shoulder.”
The guards looked over their shoulders nervously.
Roderick clapped his hands loudly, awakening the other prisoners. “Everyone upstairs! It's time for co-ed naked backgammon!”
The prisoners burst out of their cells and surged forward, overwhelming the guards. Randall and Jack tried to escape, but the Ricks grabbed them by the shoulders again and forced them to move with the crowd. Right before they reached the stairs, they veered to the right, pushing through a hidden revolving door that led to another tunnel.
“Frederick's passing was not in vain!” Roderick announced. “Tonight, King Irving dies!”
Chapter 16
Pre-Chapter-Seventeen Excitement
“YOU CAN'T be serious!” Randall said. “An attempt on the king's life now is suicidal! We'll be captured for sure!”
“I know what you're going to say,” said Roderick. “You're going to tell me that an attempt on the king's life now is suicidal, and that we'll be captured for sure.”
“That's what I did say,” Randall told him.
“Oh. Sorry, I was a little distracted. No, this is the perfect moment to strike! The guards will be so concerned with the escaping prisoners that they won't be watching the king's chambers as closely! And we've got hostages!”
Jack cleared his throat, “I wasn't going to say anything, but since you brought up the hostage situation, I was just wondering if I could leave, being redundant and all.”
“No.”
“Is that no meaning yes, or no meaning no? Hard to tell sometimes.”
Roderick gave him a dirty look, then proceeded down the tunnel. The others followed, Jack and Randall both with knives pressed against their backs.
“Here's the plan,” said Roderick. “We go to the trap-door underneath the king's bedroom. Rick, you'll stay down in the tunnel, while Maverick and I take Randall and ... your name is?”
“Jack.”
“Nice name. We'll take Randall and Jack up there with us. Maverick and I will flip a dvorkin, and the winner gets to go over and kill the king. Then we'll hurry back down into the tunnel, go back to our lair, and celebrate with bottled water and croutons. I mean it, Jack, that's a really nice name. Simple. Precise.”
“Why do all four of us need to be up there?” Randall asked.
“Because if there are guards waiting, we need hostages to distract them with,” said Roderick.
“That would be you and Jack,” Maverick explained.
“What if the flipped dvorkin wakes up the king?” Jack asked.
“Then we'll just have to kill him a little more quickly.”
“Why not just flip it before you go up into the bedroom?”
“Do I tell you how to do your job?” Roderick demanded.
“No ... not that I recall...”
“Then shut up.”
A few minutes later, they stopped underneath the trap-door labeled “The King's Bedroom.” Roderick reached up, unhooked the latch, and the door swung downward. He retrieved a ladder that was resting against the wall and braced it firmly against the edge of the opening.
“Only one person on the ladder at a time, for safety's sake,” he whispered, as he began to climb.
After Roderick had made it to the top, Maverick prodded Randall with the dagger. Randall climbed up the ladder as well, and found himself in the center of the king's immense lavatory.
“Trap-door was mislabeled,” Roderick grumbled.
“I like those little soap animals,” Randall commented.
Jack emerged from the trap-door. “You mean to tell me the king sleeps amongst his chamber pots? How twisted!”
“Quiet,” said Roderick. “We're in the wrong room is all. Once Maverick gets up here, we'll all head over to the bedroom together.”
There was a loud snap down below, then a loud crunch that sounded suspiciously like Maverick's body slamming down upon the hard floor of the tunnel. They all rushed over to the trap-door and peered downward. Maverick lay on the floor, the broken ladder next to him, a trickle of blood running down the side of his mouth like incompetently-applied lipstick. Rick crouched next to him, helplessly.
“I ... did what you said,” Maverick wheezed. “One at a time on the ladder ... just like you told me...”
“Maverick!” said Roderick. “Just stay calm! You're going to be okay!”
Rick looked up at them and shook his head.
“I'm sorry...” said Maverick, “I let you down. I haven't always been the greatest friend in the world, I know, but I'm going to become a better person in these last few moments before I die, I promise you that!”
“Darn it, Maverick! We haven't got time for another death soliloquy!”
The door to the lavatory swung open, and King Irving entered. Roderick, Randall, and Jack froze.
“I can see now all the things I should have done with my life,” said Maverick. “All the people I could have helped, all the—” He noticed Roderick's frantic gesturing to be quiet. “Oh, sorry.”