"No." He buried his face into her neck. "No...it's okay...don't need it." And with a long, strangled groan, he poured himself into her, his heart thudding, ears roaring. He came and came and came, in long waves of hot pleasure that left him weak, so weak he wasn't sure he could draw in another breath.
He shifted off her just slightly, still holding her, still with his face buried in the soft, fragrant skin of her neck, gasping for breath. He'd had the impression of flying, high and limitless, floating back slowly down onto the chaise in Marli's studio.
"Oh, Trey," she said, sounding a bit disturbed.
"What?" He could not lift his head. He put out his tongue and licked her, making her shiver.
"You didn't use a condom." She gave his back a little swat.
"It's okay. You said you were on the pill."
"Yes, but--"
"Don't worry," he murmured, then kissed and licked her again, sucked on her flesh tenderly. His heart was beating closer to normal speed and he could now hear over the blood rushing through his head. He felt her sigh.
"You'd better be here for a good reason," she said. "If you're here to break my heart again, I'm going to have to hurt you."
He lifted his head and looked her in the eye. "I love you, Marli."
She was silent. Then her lower lip trembled. "That's a pretty good reason," she said. "Oh, shit." She swiped at tears in her eyes. "I never used to cry," she told him fiercely. "I've cried more around you than I have since I was a baby."
"It's okay, sweetheart." He pulled her close. "You can cry in front of me any time you want."
"Good to know," she murmured. "Now tell me, what's going on? Am I having an affair with a married man?"
Direct, to the point... He loved that about her. "Are we having an affair?"
"I don't know. Are we? I don't have a hot clue what's going on here."
He laughed. "Okay, technically, yes, I'm still married, but the divorce is in the works. I saw my lawyer on Tuesday."
"Oh." He could feel her relief.
"And we're not having an affair."
"We're not?"
"No." He shook his head looked her steadily in the eye. "This is more than an affair."
"Oh."
"I also saw my doctor on Wednesday and got the test results Thursday. I'm clean, so nothing to worry about there."
Her smile was relieved. "So we were okay without a condom."
"Yeah. I went to see my parents, too. Let them know I'm okay. In fact, better than okay, thanks to you."
"You've been busy."
"And I went to see my boss at work."
"Oh."
"Yup. We had a good talk. Now I've got my shit together, I'm ready to go back to work. So I requested a transfer."
"Really? Hmmm." She put a finger to her lips, her eyes gleaming. "Let me guess. San Francisco, so you can work with Kent again? "
He laughed. "Wrong. I start in the LA office in two weeks. He agreed that starting fresh in a new office would be a good idea. I have to go back and clean up some stuff in San Diego, but I'll be moving here. Which leads to my next problem, which is, finding a place to live."
"Trey--"
"Wait." He held up a hand. "I'm not saying I want to move in with you. Not right away anyway. We really need time, I think. God, I'm not even divorced yet. I'm still no prize, that's for sure. I still have a lot of crap to deal with and I need to do that on my own."
"I can help you," she murmured.
"I know you can. I want you to. You've had a rough time lately, too. We can help each other. I need you, Marli. But I want to get established here, have a life, get to know you...take you on another date, maybe. And one day, when my divorce is final, we can see how things are going..."
"I can live with that."
"I'm here for the weekend, though," he said with a smile. "Maybe you can put me up just for a couple of days? I'd like to make love to you somewhere other than a hotel room."
"We just did," she pointed out.
He laughed. "Oh, yeah." Then he took a deep breath. "The other person I went to see this week was Lisa. And the baby."
"Oh, Trey." She sighed. "Was that hard?"
"Yeah, but not so much once I got there. We talked and got some stuff out in the open. But there still is one thing I need to tell you."
"What's that?"
"The fact that Lisa will still be in my life. I want to be up front with you because you're always up front with me. I told her if Travis ever reneges on his responsibilities to Aidan, if she ever needs anything, that she can call me. Because I don't want to see Aidan's whole life screwed up because the adults in his life can't get it together."
She gazed at him in silence.
"Is that a problem for you?" he asked, watching her, his insides knotting.
"You are so amazing," she said in a choked voice and kissed him adoringly. "God, I love you."
He kissed her back, relief and gratitude swelling in him. "Lisa and I were both responsible for our marriage falling apart," he said when they drew apart. "Once I admitted that, it was as if a huge load lifted off me. I still have to deal with their betrayal, but it somehow doesn't seem so bad."
"Yeah. I know what you mean. So, that's good."
"Lisa's going to have a rough time raising a kid on her own." He paused. "And," he continued, "the really good thing is that now I know I have feelings. I have feelings for you I've never felt before, so it's not all a tragedy."
She nodded.
"Being away from you put everything into perspective. What's important and what's not. Dwelling on the past and my own screw-ups is not important. I decided that's what forgiveness is--not dwelling on the negative. So I'm trying to stop beating myself up."
She eyed him solemnly. "You helped me to stop doing that. I knew if you could only do it for yourself, you'd be okay." She searched his face. "I thought...when you left...I thought maybe you were going back to try to work things out with Lisa."
"No." He pressed her head to his chest. "I haven't loved her for a long time, truth be told. There were problems in our marriage for quite a while. We didn't fight or anything. I just didn't feel the same about her. But instead of dealing with it, talking to her, I took the coward's way out and spent all my time at work."
"I would never let you get away with that."
"I know," he said fervently. "Please, Marli, don't ever let me get away with crap like that with you." He hugged her tightly. "But the person I need to be the most honest and open with about my own failings and feelings is me. I've been telling myself a lot of crap for the last six or seven months...or longer. Crap like talking about my feelings, or asking for help, is a sign of weakness. And look what happened." He sighed. "But you made me realize maybe I do deserve to be happy. Maybe I'm even good enough for you." He paused, his throat tight. "You saved my life, Marli."
She shook her head. "Uh-uh. Other way around, buddy, remember? You saved my life, like ten times." She teared up again. "God, what a suck I am." She brushed wetness away.
"Yes, you did save my life. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing, when I met you. You made me laugh, you made me think about stuff I didn't want to think about. You made me want to be good enough for you."
"You are." She smiled at him. "You're the best man I've ever met."
"Nah." He denied it, even though he loved hearing it from her.
"Well, you're not perfect."
He laughed again. Trust her to keep his head from swelling too much. "I know. You showed me what a coward I am, and what real bravery looks like."
"Huh?" Her slender brows drew together.
"You put yourself out there every day," he said softly, touching her hair. "Telling me how you felt all the time. Telling me you loved me. That took real courage."