It’s bright and I have to squint while my eyes adjust. I stroll down the steps and set off back across the Plaza.
Well, that’s a job well done. No resistance at all from the target, which is always nice. Ignoring the embarrassing run-in with his not-unattractive secretary, it all went smooth and according to plan.
There’s a first time for everything, I guess.
I take out my phone and call Josh.
“Hey, it’s me,” I say as he answers. “The target’s been taken care of.”
“Excellent,” he replies. “I’ll let our employer know. In record time, too. Was he that boring?”
I laugh. “You have no idea.”
“So, no issues at all?”
I think back to the secretary. Should I tell him? Would he ever let me live it down if I did?
Yeah, you’re right.
“No, everything went smoothly,” I say, smiling to myself.
I’m halfway across the Plaza, approaching the crossing at Polk Street, when I hear shouting behind me. I turn around and see FBI agents appearing from seemingly nowhere and everywhere, swarming toward me.
What the…?
They converge in front of me, falling into a trained formation and completely surrounding me. There are nine agents in total, all armed with either a Remington 870 shotgun or a Heckler and Koch MP5 submachine gun. One agent appears in the middle of them, approaching me and holding his badge out in front of me.
“Freeze! FBI!” he yells.
3
“Don’t move!” shouts another.
What the fuck is going on?
I’m completely stunned and probably look like idiot. I’m standing still, staring at an FBI SWAT team with my mouth open and my eyes wide, holding a phone to my ear.
“Adrian? Adrian? What’s going on?” asks Josh, waking me from my trance.
“I’m not entirely sure,” I say, distantly. “But I think I’m about to get arrested by the FBI. I might have to call you back.”
I hang up as the agent at the front with the badge steps forward.
“Adrian? I’m Special Agent Green. I’ve been instructed to detain you and bring you in for questioning.”
I regain my composure, and my brain kicks into gear, processing every possible reason that could’ve led to this moment, as well as every likely outcome. I stare at Agent Green in front of me, trying to ignore all the others who have their guns trained on me.
“You not gonna read me my rights?” I ask.
“You’re not under arrest,” he replies, with a slight shrug. “We just want to talk to you.”
I look around and gesture to all the agents he’s brought with him. “Then why the show of strength? You could’ve just asked if you wanted to talk to me.”
“Fair enough,” he says, nodding. “Adrian, can you please come with me so we can ask you some questions?”
He walks toward me, putting his hand on my arm as if to lead me away.
I don’t move. I look down at his hand, and then back up at him.
“I might. But then again, I might not. You said yourself I’m not under arrest, so you can’t make me.”
He smiles and tries again to lead me away, but I hold my ground. When that doesn’t work, he looks at me with something akin to an apology in his eyes. Like he really doesn’t want to have to do it, but he’s going to anyway.
“Adrian, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
“I’m not. On the contrary — I’ll make this as easy as I can for you. Move your hand, or I’ll give you a reason to arrest me.”
The circle of agents in front of me is getting twitchy and Agent Green is getting increasingly nervous. He’s quickly losing control of the situation and losing face in front of his SWAT team. I don’t think he wasn’t expecting any resistance, under the circumstances. I mean, who in their right mind would argue with an armed FBI SWAT team sent to detain them…
They clearly have some idea of who I am; otherwise, they wouldn’t have come so well prepared.
“I can arrest you any time I want,” he says. “I’m trying to be nice about this, as a gesture.”
“Just out of interest, on what grounds would you place me under arrest?” I ask. I know they’ve got nothing on me. I’m too good.
“Pre-meditated murder, for one.”
“Bullshit. You can’t prove something I’ve not done.”
The agent laughs. “Just do yourself a favor and come along quietly, or else,” he says, turning and walking away, expecting me to follow.
Oh dear.
Those two words to me are like a red rag to a bull.
Or else.
I process them for a moment. I wish people would stop trying to push me. Nothing good ever comes from doing it. I can feel the adrenalin building up inside me. My heart rate’s slowly increasing, along with my anger. I look around me once more. There’s no way they’re going to shoot an unarmed man in public. Even if they are trying to arrest me, the most they’ll risk is a non-lethal takedown, and I can live with that.
“Or else what?” I ask, finally.
Agent Green stops and looks back at me. His eyes narrow and he takes a step back before spinning round to face me, stopping a few feet away. He raises his right hand. I have no idea why. Maybe he intends shaking a disapproving finger at me. Or maybe he’s going to grab me again, I don't know. But I’ve no intention of waiting to find out. I’m past caring.
I grab his right arm at the wrist with my left hand and twist it away from me. I catch him off-guard, and he almost overbalances. He instinctively moves his body to try to ease some of the pressure on his wrist, which I anticipated. As he does, I thrust the straightened outside edge of my open right hand into his throat, sending him crashing to the ground.
I drop my bag and step back into a loose fighting stance, slowly turning and eyeing up each agent in the circle in turn. I feel enraged… trapped… and my instinct is to react the only way I know how to… Violently.
I know it’s not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I know they came here with nothing on me that they can use to justify an arrest. Although, something is definitely amiss here. I mean, how did they find me in the first place? And why would the FBI want to talk to me? It has to be some kind of misunderstanding. But now, all that’s irrelevant. Because now, they do have something to arrest me for — assaulting an FBI agent. I can imagine what Josh would say to me if he were here. In his sarcastic, British voice, he’d say, ‘Nice one, Adrian, you muppet!’ I don’t fully understand the reference, but I know that muppet means idiot…and he’d have been absolutely right.
They swarm toward me, forcing me to the ground, holding me in position as they place handcuffs on me. I don’t offer any more resistance. I’ve proved my point. You can’t get away with threatening me.
Two of them drag me to my feet while the others follow in a wide arc, guns trained on me from all angles. Agent Green has managed to get back up and is dusting himself down and massaging his throat. He catches up with us and escorts me to a fleet of cars parked a short distance away.
“That was a grave mistake,” he says to me. “Now you are under arrest.”
He reads me my rights as they usher me into the back of one of the cars. They slam the door behind me, and everyone retreats to their own vehicles.
We drive off and I look out the window at all the onlookers who are staring and pointing.
That went south really fast…