“We can’t stay here.” Aren put the containers of barbeque back in the bag. “He found the cabin, and he probably already knows my home address, too. He’ll come here for you.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’ll get a hotel room for now, and I’ll let Adam know you ran into this Darrien Fonthill.”
I nodded and added quietly, “He won’t stop, Aren.”
He grabbed my arms and stared right into my eyes. “The Pack is ready. They’ll keep Nadya safe. It’s our job now to get this bastard, and we will.”
I almost believed him. He bent to kiss my lips, slow and soft. His kiss was a refuge from the danger. I sank into the warmth of his mouth, the safety of his arms, and then reality smacked me upside the head.
I pushed away from him. “We should go.”
“Why do you do that?”
I grabbed the bag of food. “Do what?”
“Shut me out.”
I stared at him for a minute, and part of me wished I could let him in, if only it could be so simple. But the reality was that life would never be simple for me again. When he held me in his arms, shielded me with his body, I felt ready to surrender. Just imagining giving myself to another person like that terrified me. Although it felt better to love him than to fight with him, fighting was safe. I understood it.
Trust and kindness scared the hell out of me.
“Because even though you claim to have some sort of wolfy matchmaker gene, I don’t. I like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know better than to lean on someone. It just makes you an easy target, weak and vulnerable when they’re gone.”
“Bullshit,” Aren growled, snatching his car keys off the counter. “You know damn good and well I’m not Sebastian. I’ll always be there when you need me.”
“Thanks.” I headed toward the door and glanced back at him. “But I don’t need anyone.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Aren
We spent the cab ride in silence. It wasn’t worth chancing that Fonthill had seen Sasha driving my Infiniti to pick up the barbeque, but every turn the driver made still had us checking behind for any sign the bastard was following.
Even inside the hotel, we didn’t speak until we were behind the closed and locked door of our room. I watched her move through the space, hooking up her laptop, charging her phone, anything to keep from making eye contact with me.
When she made another pass by, I caught her hand and pulled her into my arms. At first her entire body tensed, but gradually she relaxed into my embrace and her hands slid around my waist.
“I’m damaged goods,” she whispered against my chest. “I can’t be what you need. I’m terrified of making another mistake. The last time I thought someone cared, he stole my life from me.”
She lifted her head, staring right into my eyes, and the sorrow in her gaze weighed on me. This was the same fearless woman who carried two loaded pistols on her body at all times, ready to draw at any moment. But here in my arms, where she should be safe, vulnerability and fear haunted her beautiful eyes.
If it was possible, I hated Sebastian even more now than before.
“All I want from you is a chance, Sasha. That’s all I’m asking for.”
Her mouth tightened, and all at once her expression changed. Her tough-girl shell was firmly back in place. It was enough to make my head spin.
“Even if I could give you that chance, after everything I’ve done, I don’t deserve you, or any of your family. Not that they’d want me anyway.”
I sighed and took a step back. “Will you at least hear me out?” She tipped her head with a shrug, and I went on. “I’m going to be painfully honest, but I need to know you’re not going to get pissed and run out on me before I finish.”
The corner of her mouth curved up. “We didn’t bring a car.”
She was so sexy it made it tough for me to say what I’d planned. It’d be much more fun to kiss her smile and carry her off to bed. But the sorrow I’d seen in her eyes haunted me, reminding me that in spite of her tough exterior, on the inside, she needed to believe in me and my motives. I resisted the urge to make a PowerPoint presentation.
This wasn’t my usual business meeting.
“I know you don’t have the mating instinct hardwired like I do, and I admit that without it, I may have never gotten past being pissed at you for shooting my ankle and trying to kill my family.” She raised a brow, and I shook my head with a smirk. “All right, all right. We both know I wouldn’t have gotten past it in a million years. Fine.” I took a deep breath. “The thing is, when my wolf instincts kicked in that you were my mate, I wasn’t happy about it. But no matter how pissed I was at fate, I needed to be sure you were safe. That was instinct. But since we’ve been together, everything has changed for me. An insane part of me loves knowing you have loaded weapons on you at all times. Seeing you smile and hearing you laugh make me happier than I’ve ever been. I trust you with my life, and I wouldn’t hesitate to give up my own to save yours. That goes way beyond any animal instincts, Sasha.”
Her dark eyes were unfathomable and unreadable. I searched for any sign of how she felt, but she didn’t have a single tell.
I wanted to keep rambling on, but that’d be a rookie mistake. Resisting the urge to fill the silence, I took a breath and waited.
Finally, Sasha whispered, “So if it’s not your wolf instincts, then what is it?”
Love. God, I wanted to scream I love you and make love to her until we fell asleep in each other’s arms. But my gut told me it wasn’t time. Sasha had heard those words before, and they turned out to be empty. I wanted her to know they weren’t just words when I said them.
Burying the emotion, I reached out and took her hand, grateful when her fingers laced with mine. At least she wasn’t locking herself in the bathroom. Yet.
“It’s me getting to know you and who you are, what you like… I seem to have a good handle on what pisses you off.” That earned me a soft laugh and a nod. We sat on the edge of the bed, and I kissed her hair, drinking in her exotic scent. “Believe it or not, I really enjoy being with you.”
She squeezed my hand, but her voice was tentative. “I wasn’t very good with partners in the police force. Most of the time they slowed me down and I never felt like I could really count on them. I’ve been surprised how well we work together.”
I smiled and raised her hand to my lips, kissing her fingertips. “I’d love to work with you more.”
Catching the turn in my voice, her full lips parted as she met my eyes. “I’d like that too.”
All the blood rushed from my head to slam into my groin with a vengeance. Her free hand reached over to slide up my thigh, and I pulled her close, fusing our lips together. My tongue caressed hers as I ran my hands up her back. This time the bulge of her shoulder holster and the Glock didn’t slow either of us. I laid her back on the bed, enjoying the way her fingers tightened in my hair. My lips brushed against hers, hungry and tender all at the same time. I wanted to be even closer, but her hardware was still in the way.
I pulled back, staring down at her. She took my breath away, lying beneath me with her auburn hair spread across the white sheets, her cheeks flushed with color and her rose lips parted.
“Could I take off your guns?”
She started to move. “I can do it.”
I kept her pinned under me and shook my head. “I know you can. I asked if I could.”
She seemed to hesitate for a second but then relaxed and let her hands come to rest on the bed. I sat up and slid her arm out of the leather shoulder holster, carefully pulling it free. I placed the gun and holster on the nightstand, and then knelt down and slowly removed her shoes. Sliding her pant leg up, I ran my fingers along the smooth curve of her calf before freeing the buckle on the small holster. The weight of her pistol surprised me.