I needed her. Now.
In one fluid movement, I lifted her up onto the edge of the vanity. She gasped into the kiss when her bare legs came in contact with the cool marble. Pushing her knees open, I pressed up against her, making it plain how badly I wanted her. I pulled her top over her head and dropped it behind me while my eyes feasted on the sight of her.
I ran my hands up from her feet, caressing every curve of her shapely legs, then along the hourglass of her waist until the weight of her breasts filled my hands. Her back arched, and I popped the front clasp on her bra. Every inch of her was calling to me. I bent to take her breast in my mouth, enjoying the salty taste of her soft skin.
Her fingers combed through my hair, and I straightened up enough to claim her lips, our tongues tangling as my hands moved lower to peel off her silk panties. I caressed the insides of her thighs until I reached her curls. She moaned into my kiss as my finger entered her. Her legs opened wider, her hips tilting toward me until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
I moved back just enough to get free of my shirt and pants. She pulled me to her, kissing me as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I growled into the kiss and slid inside of her. The steam of the fogged-up room, the heat of her body, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, all of it took me away from the danger and death that had surrounded us all day. We were alive.
Invincible.
Our bodies rocked together, and I lifted her from the vanity, carrying her as I stepped into the shower. The hot water poured over us, washing away all traces of smoke from the fire, erasing the pain of our day. I rested my forehead on hers, staring into her dark eyes. Pressing her back against the shower wall, I worked my hips up into her as we kissed again, over and over.
I wanted to make love to her all night, escaping the world that existed outside of our room. We belonged to each other, no clashing with the Pack, no worrying about a crazed werewolf, just us.
I brought one hand down between us, rubbing and teasing her until I found the right spot. She gasped, moaning my name as her legs wrapped around my waist even firmer. “You’re mine,” I growled against her ear. “Give yourself to me, Sash.”
Her fingernails dug into my shoulders as she rode my hips, her muscles spasming around me until I slammed into her one last time. I came so hard I couldn’t move. I held her tight, struggling to catch my breath, kissing the scar on her collarbone.
She didn’t pull away this time.
Slowly her legs loosened and her feet slid down, separating our bodies. She opened her eyes and I wished I knew what she was thinking. Could she see how much I loved her? Could she see I would do anything to protect her, to make her smile?
I had no idea. So I kissed her before I blurted out that I loved her more intensely and deeply than I ever realized I could love another person. I told myself it was to keep from scaring her.
But deep down, I may have been the one who was afraid.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sasha
My legs were wobbly when I stood up in the shower, my insides sore in a delicious kind of way. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t find the words. I wasn’t sure when I had given myself to him, but somewhere along the way, everything had changed. I was his, and it wasn’t because he had just growled it in my ear.
But would he still want me if he knew I’d never give him a set of cuddly twins? Fear coursed through my veins. I couldn’t stay his.
This was going to hurt.
“Are you all right?” Aren picked up the shampoo.
I shook my head and took the shampoo. “We need to talk.”
The muscles across his chest tightened up, and a voice inside insisted I shouldn’t ruin the mood with what I was about to say.
I took a deep breath and met his eyes. “We haven’t used any birth control.”
“I know…” He looked guilty for a split second. “I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten some protection, I just—”
I covered his lips with my finger. I didn’t want apologies.
“I would’ve insisted on it if I thought I might get pregnant.” I waited for my words to sink in.
Aren shook his head. “I wouldn’t worry about it either, but Lana got pregnant even though Adam never converted her.” His voice softened, and he reached up to caress my cheek. “I wouldn’t be upset…”
I stopped him again, petrified he’d tell me about how much he wanted a family.
“I’m trying to explain…I can’t get pregnant. That’s why I’m worthless to Nero. Even as a traitor they could still kidnap me and force me to give birth to the next generation of jaguar assassins.”
Part of me waited for him to turn and walk away. He didn’t say anything, and the silence tormented me.
I sighed and shook my head. “After I raised my sister, I felt like that was enough. I’m good with it.” My chest constricted, and he still didn’t say a word. “You’ve been honest with me, and I thought you should know. Your brother told me to be the mate you deserve, but…” Oh, God, tears were welling up. I ground my teeth together forcing them back. “I’ll never be able to be what you need.”
There. I said it. Now I needed to escape.
I turned to get out of the shower, but he caught my wrist, pulling my attention back to him. “Don’t go.” He lifted my chin until our eyes met. “You think your ability to bear children is what makes you a worthy mate?” He shook his head slowly, water beading on his face. His hand slid from my chin to rest over my heart. “This. This is what makes you a worthy mate.”
The wall around my heart crumbled a little under his hand. I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat. “You’ve never dreamed about having a family or teaching a boy to play catch?”
“I already have a family. A big one. And I can teach Malcolm to play catch. I was always better at it than his dad anyway.” A gentle smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “What I want is a mate with enough brains and backbone to put up with me.”
I stared into his eyes, searching for a trace of dishonesty, but Aren was an open book. And I caught myself wanting to believe him. This was a heavy thing to drop on him right after we made love. Maybe after he thought it over, after the blood returned to his brain, he’d want to reconsider his position. I guessed I would have to wait and see, but at least he had all the facts.
“Are we okay now?” The sound of his deep voice broke me out of my thoughts.
“I am.” I nodded slowly, drinking in the sight of his smile. “Better than okay.”
Tipping the shampoo in my hand, I squeezed a little into my other hand. There was a handsome naked man in the shower with me. I refused to let myself worry any more about something I couldn’t control. “Get down here so I can wash your hair.”
Bending his knees, he wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling my breasts as I lathered up his hair, massaging his scalp and enjoying the way he moaned against my skin. Knowing I made him happy empowered me. Until now, only my guns had ever given me that kind of confidence.
“Rinse.”
He straightened up and closed his eyes as he leaned back into the shower spray. I feasted on his naked body. The soapy water slid over his chiseled chest, down to his trim waist, and finally a little lower. I even allowed myself to look at his scarred ankle.
If not for that one injury, the man had the body of a god. And in spite of the wound I’d inflicted on him, he had my back anyway.
Amazing.
“Your turn.” His voice surprised me. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded and switched places with him. I closed my eyes and my knees got weak all over again when his strong fingers massaged my scalp and carefully slid back through my hair. His hands made their way lower, massaging my shoulders until my head lulled back to rest against his chest.