“I’ll back you up no matter what.” I bent to kiss her lips, then whispered, “No one wants Nadya to get hurt.”
Her soft lips caressed mine, lingering as I breathed her in. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I loosened my hold on her as she took a step back.
“For understanding why I can’t agree to this yet.”
“As much as I want to end this mess with Fonthill, I’m not going to let anyone pressure you or Nadya into anything. I remember how it felt to worry about my brother when I followed Adam down to San Antonio…” I stopped myself, but not before I saw her posture tense. She started to turn away from me, and I caught her hand. “Wait. We need to get past this.”
When she turned back to face me, I recognized the way she lifted her chin, the calculated expression of indifference in her facial features. “How exactly can we get past the fact that I would have killed you and your brother to get to Lana if I’d had the chance? Explain to me how I can ever make that right?” Her voice trembled, but her face showed no sign of emotion. “Will sacrificing my sister make us even?”
“No one is asking you to sacrifice Nadya.” I was doing my best to keep my voice level and calm. Even though I’d been expecting her verbal attack, she still managed to surprise me with her angle. “Is that what you think this is about? You think we’re asking you to put Nadya in harm’s way to settle the score?”
She broke eye contact and started pacing the floor, talking with her hands as well as her voice. “I don’t know what to think. One minute you’ve got my back, and the next you’re comparing my concern for Nadya with how you felt when I was after Lana. Tough not to believe this is some way to get even.”
I brushed my hand down my face trying to find a trace of calm. “I do have your back. All I meant was that I’ll understand if you tell us we need to come up with another plan to get him out in the open.” I shook my head. “Sash, I need to be able to talk about the past without you flipping out on me.”
“Flipping out?” She spun around like an agitated jungle cat, her eyes narrowing. “You think I’m flipping out?” Her hands balled into fists at her side, and she took a step closer. “More like I’m pissed, Aren. If you and your Pack have a problem with me, then take it up with me, not my sister. She’s got nothing to do with any of that shit. She shouldn’t have to atone for my sins.”
“No one is atoning for anything.” I held back an expletive that wasn’t going to help me in this fight. “You know, if you hadn’t come after me that day in San Antonio we never would have met. It doesn’t matter to me why you were there. I’ve gotten past what happened, Sash. Why can’t you?”
I could almost see all the anger drain from her body, and pain replaced the fury in her eyes. “Because I care about you, Aren.”
Would I ever understand this woman? “That makes no sense.”
“Sure, it does.” She pressed her lips together and took up her post at the window again. “I watch Nadya holding those babies, and see you with Lana and Adam…” She paused and I ground my teeth together to keep from speaking. “I want Nadya to have a family again. I want to be a part of a family again. But I don’t know how to forgive myself for the things I did. I keep trying to figure out what I can do to clean the slate, but I can’t.” She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. “Every time your ankle aches I know it’s my fault.”
“It’s my fault too.” I went on before she could deny it. “That afternoon we fought in San Antonio, you were in black leather, even gloves. I remember wondering if that was to keep the bodies from having any DNA clues left behind or because it made you look even more deadly. Anyway, I told you that when a werewolf touches his mate, skin to skin, the wolf inside will recognize her. Imprint on her.”
I watched her face as I went on. “I was trying to get you in a hold so I could dislocate your shoulder. Once you were incapable of fighting me, I’d break your neck. I’d beaten other jaguars using that same move, but as I got a grip on your arm— ”
“I head-butted you.”
I nodded and felt a smile start to creep over my features. “Right. And the second you did, something exploded inside of me. I lost the ability to fight you because the wolf inside was trying to memorize every detail of its mate.”
“That’s when Adam found us…”
“And when you ran off, you left me behind in a fog of insanity. I wanted to be sure I hadn’t hurt you, that you were safe.” I shook my head, lost in the memory for a second. “If you hadn’t cracked my skull with your forehead when you did, I would have killed you.” I moved to stand beside her at the window. “When you caught up with me in Las Vegas, I knew you were tailing me.”
She raised a brow. “Are you saying you let me catch you?”
“In my head, I planned on letting you get close, and then I was going to talk some sense into you.” The corner of my mouth started to curve up. “I never saw the Taser coming.”
I glanced over at her, encouraged when I saw her trying not to grin.
“You’ve got a hard head.” She gave me a little shrug. “I figured the Taser would help make you more manageable.”
I laughed and pulled her into my arms. “You like your men drooling on the pavement?”
Her eyes sparkled up at me. “I must confess, if I had known what a great kisser you were back then, I might’ve played things a little differently.”
I claimed her lips then, enjoying the way she moaned into the kiss as she welcomed my tongue’s exploration. When I drew back, she stared up at me.
“This is how we get past what happened.” I traced my finger along her jawline. “We just let it be. Without you attacking me, we never would have met.”
She stared up into my eyes, her fingers sliding up my chest. “You really are an amazing man.”
“You deserve no less.” I started to kiss her again, when my cell phone rang.
I knew who it was before I answered it. Adam had the team together. It was time to talk to Nadya.
I put my phone back in my pocket and caught Sasha’s hand. “There’s something else I probably should have mentioned.”
“Uh oh.” She gripped my hand a little tighter.
“General Sloan wants this to go down tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow?” Her eyes widened. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I haven’t even talked to Nadya yet, let alone figured out when and where we could do this and still keep her protected.”
“We’ve got to get Fonthill before he hurts anyone else, Sash. The longer we wait the worse he’s going to get.” I started leading her toward the dresser. “Adam’s got a team together, and they’re working on a location now. We need to head over to the ranch and talk to Nadya. You can make any adjustments to the plan you think are necessary.”
I waited for her to reply, but she got dressed in silence. Maybe she was already thinking about what to say to her sister, I didn’t know, but my stomach knotted with tension.
I’d just assured her we’d keep her only living family safe.
Even though I trusted my Pack with my life, Fonthill was a variable we didn’t fully understand. When Sasha turned to face me, I did my best not to let my concern show.
Deep down, part of me wanted to call the whole thing off. Let Nero handle their rabid dog. Then the visceral image of Barry’s mutilated body filled my mind, his face frozen in terror. I couldn’t turn my back and let that animal kill another innocent person when I had a way to stop him.
And with Sasha’s life being his bounty, I couldn’t risk him hurting her.