“How’s she doing?”
I almost jumped at Lana’s voice and glanced back over my shoulder. “They’re both resting.”
“You don’t look so good.” She came to stand beside me. “Are you injured, too?”
“Not physically.” I looked down at my brother’s wife. “She doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
Lana frowned. “Is it because of Nadya?”
“She blames herself for Nadya being infected.” I struggled to keep my voice even. “Now she’s bundled me into the same group of bad decisions with Sebastian. It didn’t help that I lied to her about the twins.”
“About the twins? Why?”
“I wish I had a good answer.” I rubbed my forehead, and stared into the darkness. “When I got to Los Angeles we were talking about you, and then the babies came up. Sasha asked me if they were jaguars like you, and something inside of me hesitated. It wasn’t that I thought she’d tell Nero.” I fumbled for the right words. “I knew Adam didn’t trust her yet, and he wouldn’t want me to share information about Malcolm and Madeleine.”
I sighed, resting on my elbows on the railing. “I told her we wouldn’t be able to tell if they were jaguars or werewolves until they were older and started shifting. It seemed like a small thing at the time. I figured I’d be able to tell her the truth once things settled down and the others accepted her.”
Lana was quiet for a moment before placing her hand on my forearm. “I’m sure she’ll come around eventually. Just give her some space.”
“You don’t get it.” I wheeled on her without meaning to. “She’s my mate. But it doesn’t go both ways. Jaguars don’t mate for life like we do. She can walk away, and maybe someday she’ll forget me, but the wolf inside me will never let go. There will never be someone else for me. How am I supposed to let her walk out of my life?”
“That’s not what I said. She just needs time.”
“What if time doesn’t fix this one?” I straightened up, every muscle in my body tense and edgy. “Jesus, Lana, I can’t lose her.”
Adam stepped out onto the deck, taking Lana’s hand. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I brushed past him and back through the house. “Gareth, can we go back to the lumberyard for the Lotus tonight instead?”
He nodded and got up, but I didn’t wait. I couldn’t risk blowing up at anyone else. Gareth got in the passenger seat of the Lexus without a word. That’s why I asked him to come with me. He was the least likely to speak. With Gareth in the car I could brood in peace.
Once we hit the highway, Gareth finally broke the silence. “The women are going to be all right?”
“Looks like it. We got lucky.”
Gareth nodded and looked out the window. “I’ve never seen anyone shift like he did.”
“Nero really messed him up. We’re not meant to shift so fast.”
“And only his head shifted into a wolf. Not his body.” He shook his head. “Crazy.”
“Yeah.” I tried to block the image of Fonthill’s face jutting forward into a snout from my mind. “Maybe the Green Berets trained to control the shift. Who knows…”
“Your uncle would.”
I glanced over at Gareth. “Miller Sloan may have been my dad’s brother, but he’s not part of my family.” My gaze shifted back onto the highway. “He’s already gone anyway.”
“You think that’s smart with Nadya bitten by that…mutation?”
“I think we’re better off on our own. Jason will do everything he can for her, and we can trust him. If we let the general be involved we’d have no idea if he was helping or hurting her.”
Gareth stayed quiet the rest of the drive, and I sank back into the mental instant replay of Sasha telling me our relationship was over. My chest ached as the shock and numbness faded.
How was I going to live without her?
I pulled the car into the lumberyard parking lot and struggled to bury my emotions. We still had work to do. “I guess we better finish with the cleanup before we take the cars back.”
“You have the supplies?”
“Luke loaded them up at the ranch.” I popped the trunk.
We got out and pulled the gate open to go around the back of the lumberyard, but as we rounded the corner, we both froze. The scent was strong and undeniable.
Gasoline. Lots of it.
“You smell that?” I asked.
Gareth nodded. The fumes obliterated any other scents I might normally pick up. Losing my heightened sense of smell left me feeling blind. For once I wished I had a gun.
“We’ve gotta get out of here,” Gareth whispered.
“What if someone found evidence? No one cleared the site yet.” I couldn’t just walk away.
“This place is going to go up like bomb.” Gareth grabbed my shoulder, holding me back. “We can’t stay.”
Before I could answer, I heard the gust of air igniting into flame. Too late.
“Run!” I shouted, doing my best to keep up with Gareth.
My ankle was still weak from the fight with Fonthill, so my wobbly gait wasn’t nearly as fast as I needed with a fireball on my tail. Ahead, Gareth didn’t bother slowing to slip through the gate. Instead he grabbed the chain link and vaulted his legs up over the top of the fence, dropping free on the other side without missing a step.
I’d never make that jump with my leg in this condition. Fuck.
Glancing over my shoulder, the heat of the hungry blaze made my eyes water. Survival instincts kicked in, blessing me with another wave of adrenaline. I pumped my legs harder toward the fence. By the time I got to the gate my back blistered, burning. I yanked myself through and stumbled forward. The fire didn’t cross the gate.
I coughed, my lungs aching from the fumes and smoke.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Gareth snarled.
I frowned and glanced up to find he wasn’t talking to me.
On the street, Sebastian leaned against the back of my Lotus.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Sasha
I wiped my eyes. This was the second time I’d cried in one night. Enough sniffling.
“Sash?” Nadya stirred on the other bed.
Without thinking about it, I swung my legs over the side of the bed to get up. Red-hot pain flared from my wound, stealing my breath. I gritted my teeth and carefully let my feet rest on the floor. So far so good. I gently pushed up from the bed, trying to shift my weight to my uninjured leg. Dark spots clouded the edges of my vision, but I was not about to let myself pass out.
I reached for the crutch Jason had supplied and hobbled over. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I touched her cheek. “I’m here, Nadya.”
Her lashes fluttered, and I stared into her green eyes. She looked up at me and gradually the corners of her mouth tugged into a frown. “You’re sad.”
Had she always known these things about me and I never noticed? I sighed. “Just worried about you. I’m so sorry. I never should have let you put yourself in danger. I knew that guy was insane.” I shook my head. “We were rushing into it.” My hand gripped the sheets tighter. “I knew better.”
My sister winced, struggling to prop herself up a little.
I touched her uninjured shoulder. “Jason said you need to stay put.”
“He bit me.” She reached up with her other hand to touch the bandage on her shoulder.
“I know.” I brushed her hair back from her forehead. “Jason thinks you’re psychic abilities are helping you with this…”
Nadya pressed her lips together. “I heard you talking. I know I’m infected.”
Infected. My gut twisted with guilt.
“It’s not your fault, Sash.”
I stifled a gasp and met my sister’s eyes. “You’re reading my mind.”