Margaret nodded. “Could be. His exact words were … that we didn’t know what we have here.” She shrugged. “I thought it was weird he’d be so open about it.”
“Not so weird. Blick wasn’t supposed to be the brains in the partnership with Doane.” She lifted her gaze to Margaret’s face. “And he didn’t intend to let us live after he got his hands on this journal. He thought he’d be safe to say what he liked.” Her glance fell to the journal again. “Well, I’d certainly like to find out why it’s so important.” She paused at one of the pages and stared in disgust at an entry. “This one’s a letter to one of his victims, promising that her murder would ensure her of remaining forever pure and unspoiled.”
“Sick.”
“And here’s one where he’s boasting and congratulating himself for besting the police.” She looked up. “Okay, not the usual teen angst. But there has to be something else here.”
“Should we turn it in to the FBI or maybe to Venable?”
Kendra hesitated. “Eventually.”
“Why not now?”
“Because their interests and ours may not be entirely in sync.”
Margaret gave her a questioning look.
“I don’t like it that Venable told Quinn about some disk and not this journal.”
“Perhaps he didn’t know about it.”
“Venable is very sharp, and he had five years to find out every detail of Kevin’s past. Do you think he wouldn’t have succeeded?”
“Go on.”
“What I mean is … Our first priority is getting Eve back. I’ve worked with the FBI, CIA, and other agencies before, and they’re standup organizations, but they often have their own agendas. Secrets and bureaucracies. It drives me nuts. It can muddy the waters.”
“That’s not all,” Margaret said quietly. “What else?”
“I’m not saying Venable would…” She looked ahead. “But I’ve seen cases where some people in government would be willing to sacrifice—”
“Eve?” Margaret interrupted. “That’s terrible.”
“It is. But they would tell you that it’s just collateral damage.” Her lips thinned. “I’m doing this for Eve and Quinn. I don’t give a damn about Venable and his spy games.” She held up the journal. “I’m not going to give them this until after I’ve gotten what I need from it. Okay?”
“No.”
“What?”
“There were a lot of I’s and no we’s in what you said. You need to rethink it.” She paused. “And while you’re doing that, what do you intend to do next?”
Kendra thought for a moment. “I think I’ve … we’ve done all we can here in Goldfork. I’m going to drive south.”
“South? To where?”
“Mineral County. The radio presets in Doane’s blue car corresponded to stations in that area, so he had probably spent some time there recently. It’s only a few hours’ drive. I’m going to leave right now.”
“Oh.” Margaret stared out the windshield for a long moment. “You’re clearly not issuing an invitation, but I’ve decided to go with you.”
Kendra laughed at her simple, direct tone. “Oh, you have?”
“Yes, I know you said you work alone, but you really could use my help.”
“Just out of curiosity, how could you help me?”
“Even if you don’t believe in my sensitivity toward animals, I’m also very good with people. Most people like me and want to help me. You believe that, don’t you?”
Kendra nodded. “I didn’t know you were so aware of it yourself.”
“Of course I am, I’ve had to learn to employ every weapon I have for survival tactics. It can be a cruel world sometimes. Most of the time, it’s pretty wonderful. But I don’t take advantage. It could be useful for us, though.”
Kendra studied her. It was possible that Margaret could help, but there was something about her that seemed especially fragile at this moment. Even though she had shown some very real flashes of toughness tonight.
Margaret smiled. “You think I need protecting. That’s a mistake a lot of people make. I’ll be fine whether I go with you or not, Kendra, but I won’t quit. And, even if we both were to go off on our own, you’ll probably just keep on bumping into me.”
And Kendra would probably worry about her when she was out of her sight, she realized with frustration. She might be as tough as she claimed, but Kendra couldn’t help seeing her as vulnerable. Or maybe it was just that when anyone saw someone that bright and full of joyous life, they instinctively sought to find ways to make sure that life went on. It might be Margaret’s most powerful weapon. Whatever it was, Kendra was caught. “In that case … We might as well stick together for a while.”
Margaret’s smile brightened to brilliance. “Good decision.”
Kendra started the car. “Really? I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you think so.”
CHAPTER
10
Rio Grande Forest
Colorado
“GO ON,” ZANDER SAID. “Why did you stop?”
“Because I’m tired of talking,” Eve said. “I’ve been answering your questions for over an hour. You can’t want to know anything more. I’m not that interesting. I’m an ordinary woman with a few people I love and a career I tend to obsess over.”
“On the contrary, I find you very interesting.” He rested his head on his hand as he gazed at her over the fire. “Of course, it might be that I’m trying to find some fascination in you because we have a connection. There’s a theory that people tend to develop passions for others because they subliminally remind them of themselves. In other words, they tend to love only themselves.”
“That’s bullshit, and cynical beyond belief.”
He laughed. “I didn’t think you’d go along with that philosophy.”
“Do you?”
“Sometimes.”
“And we have no connection.”
“Oh, but we do. Even if you’ll not admit to a paternal connection, this time together has definitely caused a bond to form. Don’t you feel it?” He chuckled as he saw her expression. “I didn’t say affection, I wouldn’t presume. But I may know more about you now than your lover does. I’m sure you never discussed the details of your childhood or commonplace events that made up your life. Most people assume that those are too ordinary to be of interest to anyone else.”
“Then why did you ask about them?”
“I’ve always found that if you want to learn about someone you have to take the tiniest details and put them together to form the big picture.”
“And you believe you have the big picture?”
“No, but I’m on my way.” He paused. “When you tell me about Bonnie.”
She was silent. “I’ve told you about Bonnie.”
“Very sketchy. If I were a man of sentiment, I’d be considerate and either ignore or walk gingerly about your loss. But we’ve established the fact that I’m not a man of sentiment.”
“Yes, that’s carved in stone.”
“You see? We do know each other,” he said. “But I’ll know you even better after you tell me why you speak of Bonnie in the present tense.”
He had gone full circle, Eve thought. She had thought he might forget it in the multitude of information he had pulled out of her, but everything had led back to this point.
“You don’t want to talk about her.”
“Because I won’t have you—” She shrugged. “What do you want to know?”
“I’ve already told you. Answer the question.”
“Present tense? I can’t think of her any other way. She’s always with me.” She looked him in the eye. “She always will be.”
“And yet I don’t sense … sorrow.”
“I’ve been through that and come out on the other side. She doesn’t want me to be sad.” She smiled faintly. “So I won’t be.”
“How do you know that she doesn’t want you to be sad?”