“Here’s a crazy thought,” Dupree said, her voice unsteady. “Why don’t you check out of your hotel and come stay with me until you leave? I could be your tour guide and show you the city.”
Ashley didn’t answer immediately. Instead she stared past Dupree with a peculiar look on her face. Was Dupree pushing too hard? Did her invitation place Ashley in an awkward situation?
“I’d love to, but are you sure that’s okay? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”
Dupree let out a heavy breath of relief. “I’ve been searching for you for eighteen years, Sweetheart. Trust me, it’s not at all inconvenient.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
To Dupree, driving Ashley to the airport proved far more painful than when she’d first given her up for adoption. As a confused teenager, what had Dupree known about love, family, or parenthood? But now, after years of emotional torture and profound guilt, having no idea when or if she’d ever see Ashley again, Dupree felt gripped with fear and apprehension. Although Ashley’s behavior during her visit suggested that she was thrilled to finally meet her biological mother, once back home in a familiar and safe environment, perhaps Ashley would conclude that she didn’t need her biological mother to be part of her life.
Dupree and Ashley exchanged few words; the mood in the car was oppressive. Dupree kept taking her eyes off the road and looking at her daughter’s pretty face. She wanted each glance to be like a photograph etched in her mind, a snapshot she could recall whenever she needed to fill the emptiness in her heart.
As expected, the time she had spent with Ashley seemed like a nanosecond. But Dupree couldn’t believe how much they’d crammed into such a short period.
“So,” Dupree said, mouth so dry she was unable to swallow, “tell me… what do you think of New York?”
“It’s awesome. I just love it!”
“Out of everything we did and the landmarks we visited, what was your favorite?”
“I loved the Statue of Liberty, the Guggenheim Museum, and of course the pizza.
But…” She paused and firmly held Dupree’s hand. “What I enjoyed most was getting to know you.”
Merging onto the entrance ramp for Interstate 678, Dupree wasn’t sure she could restrain herself much longer. In less than twenty minutes, she’d drop Ashley off at the terminal and her daughter would soon be on a plane back to LA. Dupree’s emotions were so bottled up inside that she just wanted to pull the car onto the shoulder, hold Ashley tight, and cry like she never cried before. She had no idea how she’d found the strength to hold it together as long as she had.
A burning question hung in the back of Dupree’s throat—a question she felt terrified to ask. But the terminal was just ahead and time was running short. “When do you think I’ll see you again, Ashley?”
“Once I start school, my schedule will likely be crazy-busy. I haven’t yet seen the school calendar—I guess they’ll go over that during the orientation on Wednesday. But I’m sure I’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course, spring break. I doubt I’ll be able to visit you in New York until next summer. But you’re more than welcome to visit me in LA anytime—even during the school year. I might not have a lot of free time, but I’m sure I can juggle my schedule.”
Ashley sounded sincere and her open invitation eased Dupree’s angst. “You may just see me sooner than you think. I’m planning a vacation to San Diego to meet a friend, and maybe—”
“That’s fantastic! I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. No matter how busy I am with school, I’ll find a way to spend some time with you.”
Dupree pulled to the curb, turned on her hazard lights, and flipped the trunk release. She and Ashley met at the back of the car. She helped her daughter remove the luggage and closed the trunk lid.
“Well,” Dupree said. “I guess this is it.”
They held each other tightly, and Dupree kissed Ashley’s cheek and patted her back. “I love you, Ashley. I thank God for bringing you into my life.”
Ashley blinked several times, her eyes were wet with tears. She reached in her purse and removed a manila envelope. “This is for you.”
“What is it?”
“See for yourself.”
Dupree was about to tear open the envelope when an airport security guard waved his flashlight. “Let’s move it along. This is a drop-off-pick-up area only.”
Dupree thought about flashing her badge, but didn’t want to risk a confrontation in front of Ashley. Some TSA agents abused their authority and knew little about professional courtesy.
“Call me when you get to LA.”
“I will. And you can call me, text me, or send an e-mail anytime. We can even Skype.”
“I’ll keep in touch, Honey.”
“As soon as you confirm your trip to the west coast, let me know.”
“I will.”
Dupree watched her daughter enter the terminal. She didn’t think it was physically possible but felt certain her heart shivered. The annoying airport security guard again waved his flashlight.
“Okay. Okay. I’m leaving.”
Dupree hopped in her car and squealed her tires as she pulled away from the curb, her mind flooded with jumbled thoughts and inexplicable feelings. Just before she reached the airport exit, she pulled to the curb, tears streaming down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She picked up the manila envelope and tore it open. Inside she found a high school graduation photograph of Ashley. In the lower right hand corner, Ashley had signed the photo.
To Mom with love,
Ashley.
Dupree could no longer fight the inevitable. She covered her face with both hands and wept like a lost child.
When Dupree heard the gentle knock, she knew it was T.J. After she’d arrived home, long after there were no more tears to cry, she’d called him and asked him to come over.
She opened the door. Before he could even step inside, Dupree hugged him. “I owe you, T.J. Owe you big time.”
“All in a day’s work, partner.”
They sat next to each other on the sofa.
“How long have you been working on finding my daughter?”
“Ever since you told me your story.”
“How the hell did you do this?”
“I told you. I know people who know people. That’s all I can say.”
Dupree wanted to push it, but let it go. For now. “She’s only been gone for two hours and already my heart aches.”
“Did you both enjoy the weekend?”
“It was amazing, T.J. It didn’t feel like we’d just met. We immediately connected and I felt Ashley was completely at ease.” Dupree took in a deep, quivering breath.
“What is it,” T.J. asked.
“Ashley lives three-thousand-miles away.”
“So you think you’re rarely going to see her?”
“Logistically, it’s complicated. She’s starting her freshman year at UCLA, my time off is limited, and…”
T.J. reached for her hand and gently squeezed it.
“It isn’t like either of us can just hop in the car and pop over. You found my daughter, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose her again. And this time it’s going to be even more painful.”
“You haven’t taken even one day off since we became partners, so you must have quite a few vacation days in the bank.”
“Last time I checked, I had about thirty-two days.”
“So, that’s six weeks plus, right?”
She nodded.
“If my math is correct, that means you can visit Ashley for one week every other month.”
“Technically, yes. But you’re forgetting two things. First, you know how stingy Captain Jensen is when it comes to approving time off. You’d think that the money was coming out of his personal banking account. Second, Wells is retiring in a few weeks, which puts us a man short, so, needless to say—”