‘It does happen,’ de Reuter said. ‘But for your sake, I hope not. Remand is tough, it’s a no-man’s-land.’
‘There were plenty of other people besides me who visited Nelly Friis the day she died,’ I explained. ‘People are always dying on our ward. They’re old and sick.’
De Reuter shook his head. He stared down at the small, blank pad.
‘Not even one relation?’
Janson came to my cell that evening.
I liked Janson immediately, because he was strong and solid, and he didn’t seem concerned about what I’d been charged with, but only with me and my welfare. He wanted to know if I’d got on with my lawyer. And if there was anything I needed. I had something to eat and drink and then settled on the bed. The light was beginning to fade, the sky had turned dark blue outside my cell window. There were twenty of us on the block, Janson had told me, and muffled sounds were coming from some of the other cells. It wasn’t sufficient to disturb me, but was more like a soothing background hum, and I imagined I was a passenger in a great ship that was steaming steadily through the night. Having lain there a good while, and pondered the strange state of my affairs, I finally fell asleep.
I awoke a little later in the night to hear a feeble moaning; it seemed to be coming from the adjacent cell. It was a sad whimpering sound, and I hoped the duty officers would deal with it and calm him as quickly as possible, because the noise was increasing and getting on my nerves. It sounded as if he was begging for his life. The whining was remarkably familiar, and I listened to it with my whole being. I was also disturbed by something else. Something which gradually became all-pervasive. A ghastly smell filled the room. I thought that the smell, too, was coming from the next cell, that it was seeping in through the ventilator I’d noticed high up on the wall. A sweet, cloying smell, the smell of something rotting.
Chapter 24
Morning came, and with it the rattling of the key in the door.
Randers entered and stood there studying me, hands on hips. I saw Janson behind him take a sideways step.
‘Well, we’re on the move,’ he said, ‘and your defence is up and running. De Reuter doesn’t hang about, you’ll find that out soon enough. But neither do we. How was your night? A bit sleepless?’
I shook my head emphatically.
‘I slept like a baby,’ I lied. ‘An innocent baby.’
Randers crossed to the window. He stood waiting while I put my shoes on. He clasped his hands behind his back and gazed out.
‘A cell with a view,’ he said, ‘that’s not so bad. D’you see that large yellow building over there on the hillside? That’s an old sanatorium. Some people say it’s haunted. Rather a charming idea, don’t you think?’
I said nothing. I was busy tying my shoelaces.
‘In the evening,’ he continued, ‘when the sun goes down, all the windows glow, and then it looks as if the whole building’s on fire. Did you notice that yesterday evening?’
I rose and walked over to him. I took in the yellow building.
‘I had other things to think about yesterday evening. But I’ll bear it in mind for the next sunset. Why are you here? What’s happening?’
‘You’re going to be questioned,’ he said. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
We descended through the building to a bare, cellar-like room, with two chairs and a table, and nothing else in its windowless interior. It could have been a mountain cave. The walls were rough and grey, the light unpleasant, but once we were seated, he switched off the strip lights in the ceiling and turned on a small desk lamp.
‘I think I’ve got the right to have my lawyer present,’ I protested.
Randers sent me a broad, agreeable grin.
‘Why yes, you have,’ he conceded. ‘But de Reuter is busy elsewhere, so there’s just you and me. Let’s try to get a bit of momentum into this case; that will reduce the length of remand. And that’s what you want, isn’t it? To get it all over quickly? Shall we begin?’
I made no reply. I tried to understand the extraordinary situation I found myself in, and attempted to rise above it, but it didn’t work. Randers seemed so certain, and that made me deeply nervous, I’d never met a man with so much self-confidence. He knew something, something I’d overlooked, but I couldn’t fathom what it was. I felt a little off balance and continually perplexed. Randers now had control over everything. Over the questions he would ask, the time it would take until I was again led back to my austere cell.
‘You chose to work with old people,’ he began. ‘You chose to use your nurse’s training on the most sick and helpless patients. Tell me why that was.’
I folded my hands on the table, while a heaviness spread through my whole body. I thought about Arnfinn constantly, and whether they’d find him beneath the rhododendron bush I’d planted on the small mound of earth, if they went to the house. And how I’d explain what had happened.
‘I have a special way with the elderly,’ I said. ‘Not just the elderly, but people who are close to death. Those are the patients we take. I understand their requirements and their care needs. And I like the work at Løkka. It’s a quiet, peaceful place, most of the time at least. Not like the bustle of an accident and emergency department, or a large hospital.’
‘A special way,’ Randers said, scratching his chin. ‘I see. You know what they need? Well, it’s really wonderful you’ve got these talents. So, if I sent my old mum in, she’d be in safe hands with you?’
He looked directly at me.
‘In the very best of hands,’ I said, and returned his gaze.
‘And this talent for caring, how do you deploy it?’
I had to think. I had to weigh my mendacious words. ‘I like making a difference to people’s lives,’ I explained. ‘I like to feel significant, because I believe I am.’
‘You’re often in their rooms,’ said Randers. ‘Your colleagues mentioned that. Are you the type of nurse who likes sitting by patients’ bedsides? I mean, the sort we have so few of?’
He adjusted the lamp on the table a little. The light fell on my face, and I felt the heat from it.
‘Yes, I do like that.’
‘But have you got time? People who work with the elderly are always complaining that they don’t have enough time. I’m only asking because of what I’ve read. According to the newspapers, you’re almost too rushed to get your patients out of bed in the mornings.’
‘I don’t hang around the ward office, like a lot of the others,’ I said. ‘My job would be meaningless if I weren’t able to give them that bit of extra care. I’d have thrown in the towel and done something completely different. And anyway, hardly any of them even leave their beds. They’re too ill for that.’
Randers took notes. He sat biting the top of his pen then glanced up at me with narrowed eyes.
‘You’ve never started a family, Riktor. Was it a conscious decision?’
‘It’s just the way things have turned out,’ I explained. ‘Relationships and family life aren’t easy for me. It must be a talent I haven’t got.’
I stared down at the floor. He was getting close to my sore spot, that I’d never had a woman. Never in all my miserable life had I had a woman.
‘But what about children, Riktor? Someone as caring as you. Don’t you miss children?’
‘I don’t want children,’ I said. ‘Not at any price. I mean, you can never escape them once they’re born, it’s an endless responsibility. And I like being in control. There’s a lot wrong with living alone,’ I added, ‘but I can at least do what I want with my days and nights. I’m in charge of all the plans and decisions. I can go out when I like, and there’s no one expecting me back.’