He had thought of her as a dangerous woman. And it was only now, when she looked completely defenceless, that he realized how dangerous. He turned and glanced at the picture frame on the cabinet, the photograph of the smiling woman and girl. Vivien’s natural place was with them, he thought. She was as beautiful as they were.
He turned his eyes away from the photograph and stared at her in such a way that she asked, ‘Hey, what’s going on?’
‘One day, when this is all over, you must allow me to photograph you.’
‘Me? You’re kidding, right?’ Vivien pointed to the photograph in the picture frame. ‘My sister’s the model of the family. I’m the police officer, the one who’s almost a man, remember? I wouldn’t even know what to do in front of a camera.’
What you’re doing now would be more than enough, Russell thought.
He realized that, much as she might protest, she had been pleased by his request. And what he saw on her face was not only surprise but an unexpected shyness, which it was possible she hid at other times by holding a badge in front of her.
‘I mean it. Promise me.’
‘Don’t talk crap. And get out of my kitchen. I left clean towels for you in the bathroom.’
Russell saved what he had written and went to get clean clothes from his bag. He slipped into the bathroom, where he found a pile of towels placed on a cabinet next to the washbasin.
It was only a detail, a trifle. But it made him feel at home all the same.
He stepped into the shower and let the water and foam wash away all the fatigue. After the business with Ziggy and then the explosion, he had felt truly alone for the first time in his life, totally inadequate to the burden that had been placed on him.
When he came out of the bathroom, Vivien was sitting in front of the laptop. She had opened the document named for her and was reading what Russell had written.
‘What are you doing?’
Vivien continued reading, without even turning her head, as if it was quite natural for her to open someone else’s computer. ‘What I should be doing as a police officer. Investigating.’
Russell protested, without a great deal of conviction. ‘This is a flagrant violation of privacy and press freedom.’
‘If you don’t want me to stick my nose in, then don’t give my name to a file.’
When she finished reading, she stood up and, without making any comment, walked to the kitchen counter. Russell noticed there was a saucepan on the boil, and a frying pan of red sauce next to it. Vivien increased the volume of the extractor fan, then pointed to the water, which was starting to boil.
‘Penne all’arrabbiata. Or spaghetti, whichever you prefer.’
Russell looked surprised.
‘I’m Italian,’ she said. ‘I know how to make it. You can trust me.’
‘Of course I trust you. I just wonder how you managed to rustle together a sauce in such a short time.’
Vivien threw the pasta in the saucepan and put the lid over it, to keep the steam in. ‘Is this your first visit to earth? Aren’t there freezers and microwaves on your planet?’
‘On my planet we never eat at home.’
Russell approached Vivien, who was on the other side of the counter. He sat down on a stool and looked curiously at the frying pan.
‘Actually, I’ve always been fascinated by people who can cook. I once tried boiling some eggs and managed to burn them.’
Vivien was still concentrating on the pasta and the sauce, undistracted by Russell’s little joke. ‘I keep asking myself who you really are,’ she said.
Russell shrugged. ‘An ordinary guy. I don’t have any particular qualities. I’ve had to make do with particular defects.’
‘You do have one quality. I read what you wrote. It’s beautiful. Convincing. It reaches out to the reader.’
This time it was Russell’s turn to be pleased with the compliment and not let it show. ‘Really? It’s the first time I’ve done it.
‘Really. And if you want to know what I think, then I’d add one thing.’
‘What?’
‘If you hadn’t spent your life trying to be Robert Wade, you might have discovered that his brother could be just as interesting.’
Russell felt something stir inside him, something he couldn’t give a name.
All he knew was that there was one thing he wanted to do. And he did it.
He walked around to the other side of the counter, took Vivien’s face in his hands and gently kissed her on the lips. For a moment she returned the kiss but then immediately put a hand on his chest and pushed him back.
Russell noticed that her breath was coming faster.
‘Hey, calm down,’ she said. ‘This wasn’t what I intended when I invited you here.’
She turned, as if to erase what had just happened. For a few moments she occupied herself with the pasta, leaving Russell a view of her back and the smell of her hair. Then she murmured a few words, under her breath.
‘Or maybe it was. I don’t even know myself. The one thing I know is that I don’t want complications.’
‘Neither do I. But if they’re the price to pay to have you, I accept them gladly.’
After a moment, Vivien turned off the hob and put her arms around his neck. ‘Then to hell with the pasta.’
She raised her head and this time the kiss wasn’t accompanied by hands pushing him away. Her body against his was exactly the way Russell had imagined it would be. Strong and soft, immature and ripe. As he moved his hand under her sweater and found her skin, he asked himself why here, why now, why her, why not before. Vivien continued kissing him as, with eyes closed, she drew him to the bedroom. The semi-darkness welcomed them, convincing them that this was the right place for them.
As he lost himself inside her, as he forgot names and people, Russell wasn’t sure if Vivien was the light before the dawn or a glow after sundown.
He knew only that she was like her name. Light, period.
Afterwards, they lay clinging together as if the skin of one was the natural clothing of the other. Russell felt himself slipping into the warmth of sleep and immediately shook himself, for fear of losing her. He realized that he must have fallen asleep for a few minutes. He reached out his hand and found the bed empty.
Vivien had gone to the window. He saw her against the light that filtered through the curtains, accepting the glow that came from outside in return for the prospect that her body offered him.