Abe was grinning. „Where do you think they got the key?“
„Where did you get the key?“
„Mia stole it from your purse and I had a copy made. Are you surprised?“
She sank down into a chair and covered her mouth with her hand. Tears sprang to her eyes as Abe knelt beside her on one knee and pulled her into his arms.
„They wanted to do something for you. It was Aidan’s idea.“
„It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Oh, Abe.“
His hands rubbed her back, great soothing circles. „Are you ready to talk now?“
She wiped her eyes on his coat. „I think so.“
He pulled away, lifted her chin, kissed her mouth. Then took the chair next to her and unbuttoned his coat. „I’m ready whenever you are.“
It was time, she knew. Time to tell the story she’d told only once before. This time she’d be believed. Still… She’d harbored the secret for so long. Too long. It was time to let it go.
„I was twenty,“ she began with a sigh. „A sophomore at the University of Kansas. I’d spent a year in Italy and I was behind, so I was taking some summer classes so I could catch up. He was a guy in my statistics class. I was an art major, so he helped me with my homework. I didn’t have a head for statistics.“ She smiled sadly. „And then I became one.“
Abe’s face was calm, but his blue eyes were turbulent. „You knew him, then.“
„I thought I did. We’d gone out a few times, burger joints, pizza places. He’d have a few beers, I’d abstain. He’d tease me about being a prude, I’d just smile. Then one night we went to the county fair. It was a summer night. He wanted to walk, so we left the group we’d come with and walked out past the livestock barns. He kissed me, not for the first time. But then he wanted to…“ She faltered, her throat closing.
„He wanted sex,“ Abe said flatly.
She nodded, relieved he’d said it for her. „Which was the first time.“
„The first time he’d wanted to or the first time for you?“
„Both.“
His eyes closed, his throat working behind the knotted tie. „You were a virgin.“
„Probably the only one in my class. My father forbade drinking, dancing, rock and roll, card-playing, but sex was the epitome of sin. So I was waiting, but not for this guy.“
„But he didn’t take no for an answer.“
„No. I fought and scratched, but he was too big. He overpowered me like I was nothing. Told me I wanted it, that I’d been asking for it. I told him I’d never… but he laughed. Said I’d been to Italy, I was a woman of the world. He pushed me to the ground and covered my mouth…“ She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, unable to look at him as she said the words. „He raped me. I just kept thinking it would be over soon, it had to be over soon. I looked up and saw the Ferris wheel in the sky and watched it spin, counted the cars. And finally it was over.“ She dropped her eyes back to him and saw his hands fisted on the table. She covered one of his fists with her hand, realizing for all his insistence on hearing the truth, it might be harder for him to hear than for her to tell. „He left me there, in the dirt behind the barns.“
„Did you tell anyone?“
„Eventually.“
„The police?“ he asked tightly.
„No.“ She sighed. „We tell these girls to come forward, to tell the authorities, but they’re scared. I was scared. I was afraid nobody would believe me. He told me he’d say it was consensual. We’d been dating for two months. Nobody would have doubted him. He wasn’t a jock. He was a normal regular guy who always went to class and turned his homework in on time. He was no womanizer. That was the reason I trusted him in the first place.“
„So who did you tell?“
„My parents.“
„And?“
She could see her father’s face as if it were yesterday, scarlet and quivering in rage. She could still hear the sound of his palm whizzing through the air, just seconds before he slapped her to the ground. Where she lay, trembling and nauseous. And pregnant.
„He didn’t believe me.“
„What?“ Abe lurched to his feet on the outraged cry. „He didn’t believe you?“
„No. He accused me of being like my sister. Sinful and wild.“
She watched as Abe paced the floor. „Is that why you left home?“ he asked.
„I didn’t leave home. He threw me out.“ Terrified, penniless, and pregnant.
Abe froze, then turned, his face a mask of disbelief. „He threw you out?“
„Yes.“
„And your mother?“ he demanded. „What did she do?“
„Nothing. She just looked at me. Maybe if Kara had still been alive, she might have had the strength to stand up to him, but by then, she just went through the motions. Anyway, it didn’t matter. By mat time the boy had told all his friends what had happened. They all thought I was easy.“ And I knew by fall term I’d be showing. „So at the end of the summer term, I left KU. One of my sister’s old friends had moved to Chicago, so I came here to live with her. I transferred to University of Chicago and finished my degree.“
Abe’s hands were shaking and he shoved them in his pockets. „In art?“
She shook her head. „No, I couldn’t paint after that. I majored in business and decided to go to law school.“ And I had a baby. And I gave her away. But when she opened her mouth to finish the story, all she could see was the photo of Abe and Debra, pregnant with the child that was stolen from them. And I gave mine away.
Abe sat down heavily and buried his face in his hands. „God.“
„When I saw that Ferris wheel tonight…“ She shuddered. „I can’t look at Ferris wheels.“
He said nothing, just kept his head bowed. She reached out and stroked his hair. „It’s done, Abe. I went on with my life.“
He lifted his head, his eyes piercing. „Alone.“
She met his gaze, held it „For a time.“
„What happened to him?“
Kristen shook her head. „No, I won’t tell you that“
He glared at her. „Tell me.“
„Or what?“ she asked calmly.
His shoulders sagged and his face suddenly looked haggard. „Please.“
She should have known he’d need to know. She knew, after all. She’d kept tabs on him, even after all these years. „As irony would have it, he went to law school, too. He went into politics and is now the mayor of a small Kansas town.“ Her lips twisted. „He’s running for a seat in the state legislature. Polls show he’s ahead by ten points.“
Abe’s stomach churned. That the monster would prosper, never pay for his crime, never feel a fraction of her pain was more than he could take. „You could ruin him.“
She sat very still. „But I won’t. I didn’t say anything then and I won’t say anything now.“ She looked away, but not before he saw the glint of tears in her eyes. „Because the truth of it is, I’m a coward.“
Abe stared, not believing the words coming out of her mouth. „You are not a coward.“
She blinked, sending the tears down her face. „Yes, I am. These women that come forward, they’re the brave ones. I make them live through it again and again, publicly humiliate themselves again, and most of the time it’s for nothing.“
He gripped her arms and urged her to her feet „I don’t ever want to hear you say that.“ She’d told him her story with a clinical detachment, but she was weeping now and while her rape filled him with helpless rage, her tears broke his heart. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. „There are all kinds of courage, Kristen. You go into work every day and relive your own experience. You make it possible for these women to get justice. You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known.“ He kissed the top of her head, rocking her gently, feeling her wave of emotion subside. „After Debra was shot, I lived a day at a time. I volunteered for all the most dangerous jobs because living didn’t matter anymore. I was afraid of the future, Kristen. I was afraid to think about being happy again.“