Ruth looked unconvinced. „If you need anything, you will let me know.“
„I will. I promise.“ Kristen settled at the kitchen table and started ripping lettuce, a remarkably cathartic activity all in all. „So, Rachel, more algebra?“
Rachel grimaced. „Makeup work from all the days I missed. You’d think they’d cut me some slack, under the circumstances. But nooo. It’s all due on Monday.“
Kristen concentrated on the lettuce. „Welcome to the real world, honey.“ Where life rarely cuts you any slack. But couldn’t it, please? Just this once?
Saturday, February 28,
10:45 p.m.
The house was quiet, relatively speaking. Sean and Ruth had gone home, taking all five children which eliminated 80 percent of the noise right there. Aidan had gone off to his old bedroom where Becca insisted he sleep for the night. Annie had also gone home, but not before quietly telling Kristen not to worry about her living room. She had some wallpaper that would be just perfect, and she’d fix it all up, better than new.
Now she and Abe sat with Becca and Kyle, the television showing pets doing amazing tricks. Abe’s arm was around her, holding her tight when she remembered. Pets. Damn. „I need to go to my house,“ she said, dreading the thought. „I have to feed the cats.“
Abe just tightened his hold. „Mia fed them. They’re fine.“
So Kristen indulged herself, putting off the nagging knowledge that there was still one major unresolved issue for just a little while longer. Then the program ended and Kyle stood with a groan.
„I’m sorry, but I have to go to bed. I’m getting too old for all this excitement. Becca?“
Becca rose, bent to kiss Abe’s cheek, then Kristen’s. „Where will you go tonight?“
„My apartment,“ Abe said firmly. Kristen was in no mood to disagree and a few minutes later they were sitting in the cab of his SUV, staring at his parents’ house. Abe hadn’t started the engine and the quiet was almost deafening. Kristen knew he’d been wrestling with the unresolved issues as well. It would appear the time of reckoning had arrived.
„We need to talk, Kristen,“ he said quietly, „but not here.“ In silence he drove to the apartment she’d seen only once, the morning after she’d been attacked in her room. Abe’s place was empty and sterile and Kristen found she dreaded it almost as much as returning to her own house. But perhaps it was the conversation she dreaded more than the location.
He took her coat and turned on some lights. Flipped a switch and the gas fireplace ignited with a whoosh. He stood with his back to her for a long moment while she waited.
„Last night I told you I loved you,“ he said abruptly and she was acutely conscious that he hadn’t said so since. „You said you loved me.“ He turned and focused those piercing blue eyes on her face. „Did you mean it?“
Kristen swallowed. „Yes.“
His eyes flashed. „What did you think I would say, Kristen? That my love was conditional? I love you, but only if you bear my children? That if you can’t, the deal is off?“
Kristen’s eyes stung at his brusque tone. „I told you I’d disappoint you.“
He looked up at the ceiling, blew out a sigh. „I’m disappointed,“ he admitted, then brought his gaze back down to hers. „But not with you.“ He crossed the distance between them and put his arms around her. „Never with you. How can I make you believe that?“
His arms were around her again and suddenly it was all too much. The dam broke and the tears rushed and she grabbed handfuls of his shirt and held on. And cried and cried. He scooped her up and settled her on his lap on the sofa and held her until the wave passed and the tears dwindled to a trickle. He lifted her chin and kissed her then, long and deep and… permanent. That’s what it was. Permanence. Possession. His stake.
Her breath shuddered out in relief. „I’m sorry, Abe. I wish I could change it, but I can’t.“
He delved into her eyes, his gaze intense. „We are who we are because of what we’ve been through, Kristen, and we can’t go back and change things, no matter how hard we wish. We are where we are because of what we’ve been through. Somehow, our lives came together. We’re together. And right here, right now, I wouldn’t change a thing.“
His face became blurry and she blinked, sending tears down her cheeks. „And later? When you want a child of your own?“
„Any child we have will be a child of our own. We can adopt. I wanted to say that this morning, but I didn’t think you wanted to hear it then.“
„There are long waiting periods,“ she murmured, still unwilling to let herself entirely believe what seemed too perfect to be true. „It’s not easy to adopt a baby.“
„Who said anything about a baby?“ he responded gently. „There are children everywhere that need homes, families to love them. We can be a family, Kristen. You and me. Even if we never biologically reproduce, I love you. Even if we never have any children, I love you.“ He kissed her mouth so tenderly she thought her heart would break. „Marry me.“
Marriage. To a man with a heart like Abe’s. It was more than she’d ever dared to hope for. „Are you sure, Abe?“ Please be sure. Please.
„I’m very sure.“ He said it quietly, so that it rumbled from deep within his chest.
„I love you,“ she whispered, tracing his lips with her finger, watching his eyes heat. „I never believed I’d ever find anyone like you. I just want you to be happy.“
His eyes burned, blue as flames, and she wondered how she ever could have thought them cold. „Answer the question, Counselor.“
She smiled up into his face. „Yes.“
His shoulders sagged and she realized he hadn’t been entirely sure she’d say yes. Abruptly he rose, swinging her to her feet. Without saying a word he switched on the big-screen TV, changing stations while she watched, bewildered. Finally he came to the end of the stations, to the ones that only played music to solid background screens. He stopped changing channels and a smooth voice filled the room. Oldies. Turning, he held out his hand. „Dance with me.“
She walked into his arms and they held one another, swaying to the music. She let herself drift in the sheer nearness of him until her back hit the wall. Abe’s body pressed against her, hot and hard and very ready.
„Are you hungry?“ he asked and she looked up and drew a quick breath. He was, but not for food. It was evident. In so many ways.
Her lips curved as she remembered the first time they’d made love and he’d told her how it would be. First dinner, then a dance, then… Even if she were hungry, she’d lie. „No.“
„Good.“ He kissed her until the room spun. „I didn’t want to have to cook for you first.“
Her eyes danced up at him as he lifted his head. „But I do have a taste for dessert.“
His smile sent her pulse skyrocketing. „So do I, Counselor. So do I.“
Epilogue
Saturday, July 17,
1:30 p.m.
Abe tightened the final screw in the easel the box claimed would take only ten minutes to assemble, but in reality had required two hours. That the easel arrived with a video that described assembly and operation instructions should have been his first clue that this would be harder than it looked. But it didn’t matter. It was a present for Kristen.
The whole room was a present for Kristen.
It was the spare bedroom in the house they’d closed on just the week before. He’d turned it into an art studio, complete with all the paints she could ever want. The clerk at the art store nearly kissed him, Abe thought wryly, with good cause. Paints were damn expensive. But again, it didn’t matter. It was a present for Kristen and they could afford it now that they no longer had to worry about the mortgage on her old house.