Yesterday, she had ordered a car to pick up a Mrs. Tab Hunter at eight-thirty in the middle of the block. Maggie had been up since seven, and now all that was left for her to do was put out the package with her Miss Alabama crown, sash, and trophy for Audrey and a box with her new clothes labeled for the theater out in plain sight, where they could be seen.
She had paid off her credit card, and yesterday she had put her last check for half of the commission on Crestview in the mail to Babs.
She made the bed and checked off the last items on her list. Clean towels in the bathroom, new soaps in all the soap dishes, ant traps under the sink. She then went back to the kitchen and put the “To Whom It May Concern” envelope and the envelope addressed to Lupe with the watch and, this time, one thousand dollars in cash on the kitchen counter, and did a last look around the room. She realized that after today, the two envelopes would be all that was left of her.
All she had now was just enough money to pay for the cab ride to the river. Oh, well. At least she hadn’t left owing money, and that was something, she guessed. She then unplugged the toaster and the microwave oven and locked the kitchen door. She grabbed her purse and went down the hall to the front door. But when she tried to open the outer glass door, it wouldn’t budge. Something heavy stood in the way. She looked down and saw a huge cardboard box with a card taped to the top, addressed to her from Sweet Home Alabama Goat Farm. Oh, Lord. How had they gotten in the gate? It was too early for mail, so the gardeners must have put it on her stoop, thinking they were doing her a favor. She reached down and opened the card; inside was a photo of Leroy the goat, along with a note.
Dear Maggie,
I am so glad you are alive and not hurt. Please come out and see me again soon. I miss you. The Conways send their love and said to tell you thank you for all you did to help them with the insurance claim.
Love,
Your friend, Leroy
Oh no, that really was very sweet of them, but why today, of all days? It was obviously some kind of food because the box had PERISHABLE, PLEASE REFRIGERATE written all over it. She couldn’t leave it sitting out on the stoop in the sun-nothing smells worse than spoiled goat cheese-so she pulled the box inside the foyer and opened it and saw that they had sent twenty-four cartons of goat yogurt and at least ten pounds of a variety of goat cheeses. She had just spent over an hour cleaning out her refrigerator. She tried to think of someone she could give it to, but who would ever want this amount of goat products? She couldn’t think of a single person, and she couldn’t just leave it sitting in the foyer. There was nothing she could do. She was going to have to take it all out and put it in the refrigerator, and hopefully, Lupe would find it on Monday and take some of it home. As she was busy unloading the box, her phone rang, and she was so rattled, she completely forgot that she wasn’t going to speak to anyone and picked it up. “Hello.”
“Hey, it’s me.” Maggie winced when she realized what she had done. It was Brenda. Too late. Now she was caught.
“Can you hear me?”
“Just barely… where are you?”
“I’m at the Kate Spade sale. We got here early this morning, and I just got six bags for half price. I’m standing in line right now, waiting to pay for them.”
“Oh, great, honey, that’s wonderful.” Maggie tried to sound interested and still concentrate on getting all the yogurt into the refrigerator.
“What are you doing?” asked Brenda.
“Oh, just putting a few things away. What’s up?”
“Listen… I don’t want you to get excited, but I may or may not be having a heart attack. But if I were, what would be the symptoms?”
Maggie was suddenly alarmed. “What? What makes you think you’re having a heart attack?”
“I said, may be. I didn’t say I was.”
“Oh, my God. Have you called Robbie?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because. I don’t want to hear her say ‘I told you so’ until I’m sure.”
“Are you having chest pains?”
“Uh-huh, sort of. Off and on,” Brenda said as she moved one step closer to the check-out counter.
“Are you short of breath?”
“A little.”
“Brenda, don’t fool around with this. You get out of that line right now and go get help.”
“I can’t. I haven’t paid for my bags yet.”
“Forget the damn bags! You find somebody right now and tell them what’s going on, and I’m not hanging up until you do!”
There was a pause; then Brenda said, “I’ll call you back…” and hung up. She was sorry she had called now, but since she’d never heard Maggie cuss before, she figured she’d better do what Maggie said, so she tapped the lady in front of her on the shoulder and said, “Honey, would you do me a favor? Could you hold my bags and my place in line for me for just a minute? I have a little emergency.” The woman said she would, and Brenda looked around the room and spotted a young security guard backed up against a wall, trying to stay out of the way of the crowd of stampeding women running through the store. The pain in her chest was getting worse as Brenda pushed herself through the crowd, and when she finally got to the guard, she looked at his name tag, then said, “Listen, Dwayne, I may or may not be having a heart attack, but if I was, what should I do?”
Dwayne looked at her wide-eyed and immediately pulled out a black walkie-talkie and yelled into it, “Heart attack in the basement! Heart attack in the basement!” He then asked her if she was there by herself, and she told him her sister was with her. Brenda started to go and find her, but he stopped her. “Don’t move; wait right here,” he said. “I’ll find her; what does she look like?”
“She’s a heavy-set woman in a black dress, wearing a red wig.”
Dwayne quickly waded into the crowd and suddenly realized that the entire room was full of heavy-set women in red wigs, wearing black dresses.
Maggie stood in the kitchen, not knowing what to do. Should she wait for Brenda to call her back? Oh, Lord… what do you do when someone you know may or may not be having a heart attack? She tried to call Brenda back, but she didn’t pick up. Brenda had been calling Tonya, who was standing in line on the other side of the store, and finally, Tonya answered.
“What?”
“Listen, Tonya, I may or may not be having a heart attack… and I-”
Tonya, who could hardly hear her above the crowd, interrupted: “Who’s having a heart attack?”
“Me. Well, maybe. Anyhow, I have to go to the hospital, but I need you to go to the line at the cash register and pick up my bags from the lady who’s holding them for me and pay for them, okay? She’s wearing a black dress.”
Tonya frantically looked around the room, searching for her sister, but she didn’t see her, because at the moment, Brenda was being taken in a wheelchair to a waiting ambulance. At every big discount sale, there was always an ambulance waiting outside. They knew they would be called sooner or later.