"I don't think I can walk that far. But let's assume that old Johann was a brother—easy to check—and she did know all about the Distress Fund and the fact that you needed a loan our senior year."
"Yes. That's the convincer."
"No, it4s not. I mean that Johann would have been just as susceptible. She was his secretary; it might have amused him to spill fraternal secrets to her—grip, password, even details about the fund."
"Oh, crap, you honkie bastard. Joan Eunice is just what she purports to be—an utterly delicious girl who has Johann's brain in her skull. Alec, I concede that Joan Eunice doesn't seem much like Johann Smith. But even you might be socially acceptable if that sponge between your ears were placed in the brainpan of a creature as delectable as she is." The Judge shook his head. "She's enough to make a queen switch from A.C. to D.C."
"Man, she really got to you, didn't she?"
"And you, my friend. Who said we needed a vacation from women? You, as I recall. But you drooled over her. You would give up boys for life if she were to phone and ask for you. Don't try to fool your roomie; I know you better than Ruth does."
"I won't argue. But you're at least as far down the Street as I am, Mac... and she affected you the same way. Uh, does Norma know how little fishing we plan to do?"
"Sure she suspects. But she's always been tolerant. Alec, how disappointed would you be if I called off our trip? Jake may need a friendly judge in a hurry. Especially if those vultures find a shyster unscrupulous enough to buy some direct action. I'd hate to be missing if Brother Schmidt needed me."
"My God, a soul with a soul. Oddly enough I was thinking the same thing. Can't let Brother Schmidt down. Mac, could it prejudice anything if I volunteered my services—free—to Jake? If this gets sticky, he's going to need to be several places at once. I could share the load."
"And share the wealth. It would give you an excuse to see Brother Schmidt again."
"Any law against taking a profit? But Jake does need help."
"And you're familiar with the case. Alec old dear, it's a noble thought. While you did represent the Petitioners, not only have they fired you, but this was never an adversary situation; theoretically those creeps are as anxious to arrive at the truth for the benefit of their beloved grandfather as Jake is. They don't dare admit that they are trying to grab his gelt."
"I wonder if lake has a phone in that empty house he mentioned? If not, I can leave word at the Gibraltar Club—he has rooms there—and at Johann Smith's town house. And with lake's answering service."
"Yes. But let the call be from me; it might speed the service. We'll stay and wait for it. Ruth's not expecting you, Norma is not expecting me; I'll have dinner sent up from the basement."
"Clear thinking. So fix fresh drinks while I put in those calls. Hey! You can reach them in your copter."
"Only via the piloting circuit. Not private. Better we keep this tight. Alec, it is unlikely that Jake will have anything for you to do before morning. But he might—a trip to the coast or such. You could stay on call by spending the night here."
"Well!" Alec Train stopped with his hand near the phone. "Roomie, I thought that Brother Schmidt had driven all other thoughts out of your mind. Or did I misunderstand?"
"Let's phrase it this way: It would be pleasant to discuss Brother Schmidt in intimate detail with some sympathetic person who appreciates her as much as 1 do."
"In that case, mix those drinks and start a lukewarm shower. I'll join you as fast as I can."
14
Jake Salomon handed Joan Eunice into the Judge's copter, got in beside her and locked the door. Quickly they were airborne. The passenger compartment was separate from the pilot's space and well soundproofed; conversation was possible. But he said nothing and tended to keep his eyes away from her.
Joan let it go on only a short time. "Jake dear? Are you angry?"
"Eh? Heavens, no. What made you think so?"
"You seemed quite distant. I thought you might be annoyed with me for having kissed Judge McCampbell and dear Mr. Train."
"Your business."
"Oh, Jake. Please don't scold me even by your manner. I've had a difficult day, especially the time I had to spend with my goddam granddaughters. It hurts, lake, to- be hated. To know that someone wants you dead. Yet I had to try to appear serene and ladylike. Be a credit to Eunice. Jake, it isn't easy to he a lady—after almost a century of being male. Do you know how I manage it at all? I say to myself, ‘What would Eunice do?'—then I try to do it. Kissing those sweet and helpful men— lake, Fm not used to kissing men. You could have trained me but you won't give me more than a good-night peck. I said to myself, ‘I must thank them—and what would Eunice do?' I decided that she would kiss them the best she knew how. So I tried, even though I don't know how. Well? Is that what Eunice would have done?"
"Well...yes, Eunice would have kissed them." (He knows darn well I would have, dear.) (I know. He's being difficult.) (So keep punching. Tell him how wonderful he is. Joan, men always -believe it when you tell them they are wonderful.)
"Then I don't see why you are being cold with me, Jake. I thought you were truly wonderful all day long, the way you handled things and protected me. I wanted to kiss you for being so wonderful—and would have, and will!—if only you would let me. Was it because I didn't stop to put my robe on before I kissed them?"
"Well...it would have been more ladylike."
(Punch hard on this one, dearie—for Jake knows darn well that I spread skin on him the very first time I kissed him... and later I kissed him bare naked the first time it was safe to. He didn't fight—he was eager.) (I'll try.)
Miss Smith looked worried, which did not suit her features. "I suppose so. But I don't know how to be a lady, Jake; the rules have changed so much. Eunice often startled me by what she did and how she dressed—yet I am certain that she was always a perfect lady. Tell me this, Jake, honestly and candidly, and I'll treat your answer as Gospel and use it as a yardstick for future behavior—because I do want to be a credit to Eunice; I want ‘Joan Eunice' to be the perfect lady that Eunice was. Under those exact circumstances and being just as anxious to show appreciation to two sweet and wonderfully helpful gentlemen... would Eunice have put this street robe on first? Or would she have spread her sweet skin on them and let them cuddle her a bit if they wanted to—and they wanted to, I'm sure you noticed. Think about it, Jake. You knew Eunice better than I did; we know that—so give me a straight answer, because I'm going to use it as a guide in trying to be Eunice. Would she have played safe? Or would she have given herself?"
Jake Salomon gave a sigh that was almost a groan. "Hell, you did exactly what Eunice would have done. That's what upset me."
Joan sighed. "Thank you, Jake, I feel better." She loosened her seat belt, moved closer to him, ran her thumb down the magnostrip of her robe. "Can't get this pesky thing off in here. Kiss me, Jake, kiss me better than they did. Kiss me and cuddle me and tell me that Eunice would be proud of me."
"Joan!"
"Don't shame me, lake. I'm a girl now and I need to be kissed so hard we'll forget I kissed those other two. Call me ‘Eunice,' dear; please do, it's my name and I want to hear you call me by it and tell me I'm a good girl."
He groaned. "Eunice!"
She turned her face up. "Kiss me, darling."
Trembling, he gave in.
The kiss went on and on. It took Joan only seconds to turn it from tender to rugged, nor did he hold back. (Eunice? I'm going to faint.) (I'm not going to let you, sweetheart; I've waited a long time for this!)
Eventually Jake broke, but she stayed close and he continued to hold her. She sighed and touched her hand to his face. "Thank you, Jake dear—for this, and for everything."