"I'm sorry, Jake. It was a thoughtless remark. My appreciation really goes where it belongs. To you."
"To Mac more than to me, my dear; that boy has been on the ball. How he got an advance copy to, uh, the right man so quickly is something I don't want to inquire into."
"I appreciate Mac's efforts, I appreciate Alec's efforts—but mostly I appreciate my darling, always dependable, utterly wonderful Jake." (Is that too thick, Eunice?) (Boss, I keep telling you: it's impossible for a woman to lay it on too thick with a man. If you tell a man he's eight feet tall and say it often enough, with your eyes wide and a throb in your voice, he'll start stooping to go through seven-foot doors.)
Jake looked pleased, so Joan went on: "I suppose it will all be settled soon, then?"
"Little one, don't you ever listen to the news?"
"Not if I can avoid it."
"Well, you should. It is over. You've won, finally and completely."
"Really? I never doubted that we would win, Jake, the wonderful way you've handled everything. My surprise is solely that it has happened so fast. Yes, I suppose I should follow the news. But I haven't been able to, these last few days. Had this difficult job to do—Joe, I mean—and while you were away seemed the best time... so I gritted my teeth and tackled it."
"Joan Eunice, I told you never to go near Joe. I told you. If this new marriage of his ever stood a chance—yes, intellectually I know that a man should remarry—if it ever did stand a chance, you must have put a horrible strain on it. Too much strain, probably. Uh... how did he take it? Badly?"
"Jake, I stayed five days. If it had gone badly, would I have been there even one day? I accomplished the mission; everything is all right."
Jake looked surprised, then thoughtful. "Hmmm! That's a one-room studio... and if I follow your meaning, you stayed right there the whole five days. My dear, just how did you ‘accomplish your mission'? Or have I no right to ask?"
She looked up at him and spoke seriously. "Jake, I owe you so much that you will always have the right to ask me anything. Including my comings and goings and I should not have given you a snippy answer." (Didn't quite tell him he had a right to a truthful answer, did you, Boss honey? Devious little bitch.) (Eunice, I don't lie to Jake—) (Oh, what a whopper!) (—more than is necessary to his happiness.)
"Jake, I accomplished my mission—I set Joe's mind at rest about Eunice—through a ‘prayer meeting.' With Gigi's utterly necessary help, which is only part of why I feel sure that she's good for him. But if you mean I offered him a zombie—his dead wife's reanimated body—I knew that was not the way to do it. Joe hasn't touched me. Oh, he does touch me now, easily and without strain, the way he might touch his sister." (Any incest in Joe's family, twin? I've never been sure.) (Oh, shut up!) "He even kisses me the same way. But, Jake—"
"Eh? What, dear?"
"If Joe wanted this body I'm wearing, of course he could have it; I owe him anything I can give him. You see that, don't you? You agree? Or am I wrong?"
"Uh....es, I agree. But I think it's well that Joe does not want to. It could be disaster for him...and a terrible strain for you."
"I know it would be a strain for me. But I would do my best to smile and never let him guess. As it is, I am honored—and relieved—and deeply grateful that Joe has given me his loving friendship instead." (Okay, Eunice?) (Okay. Now get him off that subject.)
"I'm glad, Eunice."
"Jake, do we have to stand here, me still in street clothes? I have presents for you—welcome-home presents." She smiled her best happy-little-girl smile. "Want to see them?"
"Of course I want to see them! And where are my manners, letting you stand? Here, let me seat you and take your cloak. Sherry?"
"Later. Or champagne, to welcome you home. ‘To welcome us both home." She turned and let him take her cape. He turned to lay it aside and turned back just as she did so, too.
"Holy Cowl"
"Didn't know you were a Hindu, Jake." She posed, in graceful and calculated display.
"You wore that all the way across the city? Just paint?"
"Why not, dear? It's your first present—from Joe to you, sent with his love. I had my cape over it before I left Joe and Gigi's studio, and then kept it on when I got home—until you unwrapped your ‘present.' Didn't want my mobiles to see it, of course." (Oh, of course, twin—except that Joe let them watch every brush stroke, once Gigi was sure you didn't mind. Say, Joan, Gigi would go for a Texas Star with Anton and Fred, I feel certain. And Joe would go along; he likes them. What do you think? Easy way to keep your promise to them, huh?)
(Eunice, we've got this man on our hands now.) (Oh, poor you. Best way in the world to work up steam with one man is to let your mind rove about other men. You've still got some Puritan in you, girl.) (Which Puritan? When? And why didn't I notice? You can't mean Jake; he's Jewish. Speaking of Jake, has he noticed that slight omission in this getup? And why haven't we been raped?) (I doubt it, his eyeballs are spinning. As for the latter, I have-hopes.)
"Joan Eunice, do you.. realize that that is a reproduction—exact, I think—of a body-paint design Eunice once wore?"
"Of course I realize it; she wore it here...and I wasn't so near dead that I didn't stare. Could never make up my mind whether these were sea shells or paint. Now I know. Joe wanted to be sure that you had seen it that first time, when Eunice wore it. I told him that I was almost certain that you had been here that day."
"Well, yes, I was. Briefly. That's why I recognized it."
"So? It had seemed to me that I recalled that as one of the days you took Eunice home. Hmmm?"
"Joan, are you trying to be snoopy?"
"Yes."
"Woman, I will not satisfy your prurient curiosity."
"How do you feel about satisfying prurience itself? Mine, I mean."
"That's another matter."
"I was wondering. So far you haven't even kissed me. Shall I take a shower first? Or let me put it this way: Did Eunice take time to get the paint off first?"
"Let me put it this way: Shut up and keep quiet and pipe down and not another damn word out of you until I give permission."
"Yes, sir."
She obeyed in essence for a reasonable time.
"May I talk now?"
"Yes, as long as you limit yourself to polite words of endearment. Some of your spontaneous remarks were quite unladylike."
"That's because I'm quite unladylike, Jake my only darling. I'm a failure as a lady. But I'll go on doing my best to simulate one in public—be a credit to Eunice."
"Joan Eunice—"
"Sir?"
"That's the way Eunice herself did it. A perfect lady in public... utterly uninhibited in private. It was a major part of her-great charm. Some of her spontaneous expressions at such times were far more ‘unladylike' than any I've heard you use."
"Really, Jake? Did she know any that I don't? And do you like them?"
"Hmm, I don't think she knew any that you don't know; she was just easier about it once she trusted me. Yes, I do like them. Used spontaneously."
"Jake, I trust you without limit—and I'll try not to inhibit any future spontaneity. Haven't meant to. Still learning."
"Darling girl, you do just fine when you get your rest. I mean ‘my rest.' Now that I've got you helpless—and seeing that you trust me ‘without limit'—what did, happen at Joe's."
"Sir, the fact that I trust you—and I do!—does not mean that I'm going to satisfy your prurient curiosity." -