“He thinks you were in love with me.”
“Does he now?”
“I saw it somewhat. I mean, that you had a crush on me in college. I figured it was because we bonded over something so awful.”
“By ‘so awful,’” Hayden said, with just a hint of steel in his voice, “do you mean when I saved you from being raped?”
“Yes, Hayden, that’s exactly what I mean.”
“You should be grateful.”
“I was. I am. But we handled it wrong. We should have reported it. Let the chips fall where they may.”
“I would have ended up expelled or worse.”
“Then maybe that’s what should be.”
“For saving you?”
“Yeah, well, if that’s the case, then the powers that be would have understood. But we will never know. Instead, we kept it a secret. And that’s what always happens with the Paynes, isn’t it, Hayden? Your family uses its resources to bury what they don’t want to see.”
“Oh yes,” Hayden said. “The rich are bad. What an intriguing insight.”
“It isn’t a question of good or bad. There is no accountability.”
“Do you believe in God, Rachel?”
“What difference does that make?”
“I do. I believe in God. And look what He gave me.” He spread his arms and circled. “Look, Rachel. Look at what God gave the Payne family. Do you think that was just happenstance?”
“Actually, I do.”
“Nonsense. Do you know why the rich feel special? Because they are. You either believe in a just God that rewarded us — or you believe the world is chaos and random luck. Which do you believe?”
“Chaos and random luck,” Rachel said. “Where’s Matthew, Hayden?”
“No, no, I want to hear David’s theory. You were saying that he felt I was in love with you. So go on from there.”
“You were, weren’t you?”
He stopped, turned toward her, spread his arms. “Who’s to say I’m not right now?”
“And when I asked Barb Matteson to make an appointment for Cheryl at the fertility clinic, she told you, didn’t she?”
“And if she did?”
“You would have been upset. You wanted me for yourself. Now suddenly I’m going to have a baby with donor sperm. That made no sense to you, did it?”
Hayden grinned. “Do you have your phone on you?”
“I do.”
“Let me have it.”
“Why?”
“I want to make sure you’re not recording this.”
She hesitated. He was still grinning like a crazy man. She glanced around again, trying with as much subtlety as she could to see David. No sign of him.
“Give me your phone, Rachel.”
His voice had an edge now. No choice. She reached into her pocket, hoping to find the red hang-up button so she could disconnect the call before he saw it, but he grabbed her hand to stop her.
“Ow! What the hell, Hayden?”
He reached into her pocket, took the phone from it, looked at the screen.
“What kind of phone is this?”
“It’s a burner.”
He stared down at it. “I want to hear the rest of your theory, Rachel.”
“How did you feel when you heard I was getting donor sperm?” she asked.
“The same way I felt whenever you got some contemptuous, pathetic new boyfriend. What a waste.”
“It should have been you,” Rachel said.
“It should have been me. I rescued you, Rachel. You should have been mine.”
“Your family owned the fertility clinic.”
“Go on.”
“So it would have been easy to set up. Did you threaten someone or pay them off?”
“I rarely see a need to threaten. Money and NDAs are usually enough.”
“You made sure that they used your sperm for the donation.”
Hayden closed his eyes and smiled and lifted his face toward the sky.
“It’s only you and I here, Hayden. Might as well come clean.”
“I wish you hadn’t done this.”
“Done what?”
He shook his head, the smile gone now.
“What did you think would happen, Hayden?”
“I thought that you’d have my son. That I’d tell you about it later.”
“And that would make me fall in love with you?”
“Perhaps. Either way, we would be a family, wouldn’t we? At worst, you’d push me away and raise my child. But chances are, you’d let me in your life. You’re not immune to my family’s influence. Remember that spring break when we took the family plane to that mansion in Antigua? Your face, Rachel. You loved it. You loved the parties. You loved the power. It’s part of why we became close. So yes, my plan was to impregnate you. Why would you want some anonymous donor sperm when you can have mine?”
“Someone special in the eyes of God,” she added.
“Exactly. Great genes. Someone who cares about you. It made perfect sense.”
“Except, of course, I never went to the clinic.”
“Yes. Your charade fooled everyone at Berg. It’s ironic when you think about it. Here you are, talking about how destructive my family was with burying secrets—”
“—when my sister and I were doing the exact same thing.”
“Yes, Rachel.”
“When did you figure out it was Cheryl and not me?”
“When you never got pregnant — and Cheryl did. So I went to the Berg clinic you supposedly visited. I showed the doctor your photograph. She didn’t recognize you. Then I showed her Cheryl’s photo...”
He shrugged.
“And then?”
“Then I waited. I planned. I watched. David was falling apart anyway. You know that, don’t you? The marriage wasn’t going to last. What Cheryl did. That lie ate him up. I think he always knew the boy wasn’t his. So I kept an eye on them. I remained patient.”
“You killed another child.”
“No, Rachel.”
“Someone was murdered that night.”
“That was part of the delay. I waited. I gave that child a spectacular life.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It’s not important.”
“It is to me.”
“No, Rachel, all that concerns you is the little boy whom I rescued that night. My son.”
“You set David up for the murder.”
“Not really. When that old woman testified at the trial about seeing him with the baseball bat, I confess that I was shocked. Do you know what I thought?”
“Tell me.”
“That he started to believe he had done it, so he buried the bat himself. Later I learned there was some grudge against his father. But no, I didn’t intend to send David to prison for life. None of this was his fault. He had done his best in raising my son. I didn’t want to hurt him more than necessary.”
“Why such extreme measures?”
“What else could I do, Rachel? I couldn’t admit I had made my clinic use my sample.” He held up his hand. “And before you get all high and mighty, let’s remember who started all this. You and your sister. Your lies.”
There was, Rachel knew, some truth to that. “So who knows?”
“Pixie, of course. Stephano. That’s about it. I brought my son here when I made the switch. I confess I was in a panic. I worried I had made a terrible mistake. Pixie ran a paternity test. It came back that the boy was mine. We stayed at the Payne estate for almost six months. I never left the property. The boy was upset at first. He cried a lot. He didn’t sleep. He missed his mother and... and David. But kids adapt. We named him Theo. We came up with the cover story about the Italian actress. Eventually I took him overseas. I put him in the most exclusive boarding school in Switzerland. And I waited for that damn birthmark to fade away. The doctor said it would. But it didn’t. It stayed there, stubbornly. And yes, no one was looking for Matthew. He was dead, not missing. But the resemblance between him now and the boy taken...”