But, like everything else, it wasn't going to happen, was it?
I wasn't just Tom any more. I wasn't how I used to be.
And neither was Lucy. hey iBoy — did you see the story in the gazette? you're famous! a superherosuperstar! and i know you! but don't worry, your secret's safe with me. aGirl xxxxxx iBoy didn't reply.
I wouldn't let him.
I was Tom ...
I was losing my mind.
To take my lost mind off everything for a while, I stopped thinking consciously about things and concentrated instead on letting my iBrain check the facts — the straightforward, no-nonsense, on-or-off facts — about what I'd been doing over the last ten days ...
What iBoy had been doing.
What we'd been doing.
What we'd done.
Who we'd done it to ...
Where they were now.
In what condition ...
And so on.
It was as pointless as everything else, but I went ahead and did it anyway. And this, in short, was what I came up with:
• In the last seven days, reported crime on the Crow Lane Estate had fallen by 67%.
• Yusef Hashim had been arrested for possession of an unlicensed firearm and was currently out on bail.
• Nathan Craig was in hospital, recovering from a ruptured spleen and three broken ribs.
• Carl Patrick had been arrested and was currently in police custody for stabbing Jayden Carroll.
• Jayden Carroll had been discharged from hospital after undergoing minor surgery on his stomach.
• DeWayne Firman had disappeared following the publication of grossly insulting comments about Howard Ellman on his Facebook page.
• Paul Adebajo had been arrested for possession of, and intent to supply, Class A drugs.
• Big and Little Jones were under investigation by the Counter Terrorist Unit after a video on YouTube appeared to show them planning a suicide bombing.
• Troy O'Neil, Jermaine Adebajo, and the fat Korean guy (whose name was Sim Dong-ni, or just Dong to his friends) were being held in police custody awaiting trial for various offences, including possession of Class A drugs, intent to supply, and possession of unlicensed firearms.
And so on, and so on, and so on ...
I'd done a lot.
We'd done a lot.
But had we really achieved anything?
No.
Had we turned Hell into Paradise?
No.
Had we found Howard Ellman?
No.
Had we made Lucy Walker feel any better? Perhaps...
Had I started to think that she was falling in love with iBoy ...?
Shit.
10100
... wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world my blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom ...
At 19:45:37 that evening, freshly showered and dressed in clean clothes, I was standing outside Lucy's door, with my heart beating hard, hoping that everything was going to be perfect.
I'd been busy all afternoon.
I'd got everything ready.
And now all I had to do was do it. I took a deep breath ...
Slowly let it out.
Then reached up and rang the bell.
I was planning on being kind of cool when Lucy answered the door. You know, like it was no big deal, I was just calling round ... just wondering if, by any chance, you'd be interested in ... blah blah blah ...
It didn't happen that way, of course.
Instead, when she opened the door and said, "Hey, stranger," and I opened my mouth to say, "Hi," something got caught in my throat and I started coughing and retching like a lunatic. By the time I finally managed to get some air into my lungs, my face was bright red and I was dripping sweat all over the place.
Very cool.
"Are you OK?" Lucy asked me.
"Yeah — hack! — yeah ... I'm all right, thanks. Just..." I coughed again — hyack! "Just a bit of a cough, you know ..."
Lucy smiled. "You want to stop smoking your gran's cigars."
I grinned at her. "Yeah ..."
She stepped back, opening the door to let me in.
"Uh, yeah ..." I muttered, suddenly unsure how to say what I wanted to say (even though I'd been practising all afternoon). "Listen, Luce," I said. "I was wondering if you'd like to ... well, you know ... I just thought we might..."
"Are you coming in or not?" she said.
"Well, the thing is ..."
"What, Tom?" She frowned at me. "What's going on?"
"Nothing ..." I took another deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Just take it easy, I told myself. Stay calm. Just open your mouth and say it. And that's what I did. I looked at Lucy, opened my mouth and said, "Do you fancy a picnic?"
She stared at me. "A what?"
"You won't have to go anywhere," I told her. "Well, you'll have to go somewhere ... but we won't have to leave the tower."
She shook her head. "I don't get it..."
"I know ... I mean, I know it sounds kind of strange, but it'll be all right. Honestly ... trust me. You'll be perfectly safe."
"But where ...?"
"I can't tell you, can I? It's a surprise."
She shook her head again. "A picnic?"
I smiled at her. "Yeah ... sandwiches, crisps, Coke ..."
"I don't know, Tom," she said anxiously. "I mean, it's a really nice thought and everything, and it's not that I don't want to be with you ... but, you know ... I just ... I just don't think I'm ready yet."
"Ready for what?" I asked gently.
"Anything ... going out, being with people ..."
"Yeah, but you won't be going out," I assured her. "And the only people you'll be with is me. I promise. There won't be anyone else near us. I guarantee it."
"I don't see how you can."
"Trust me, Luce."
She looked down at the floor, her face worried, her eyes sad ... and for a moment I seriously started to doubt myself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. Maybe I was just being selfish, thoughtless, uncaring ...
But then Lucy said, very quietly, "I won't have to leave the tower?"
"No."
"And I definitely won't see anyone else?"
"Guaranteed."
She slowly looked up at me. "What kind of sandwiches?"
Lucy's mum was out at work, but Ben was in, so Lucy told him that she was going out with me for a while, and that she wouldn't be long. She put on a coat and one of those knitted woollen hats with ear flaps, and then — after I'd checked to make sure that the corridor was empty — I started leading her along to the stairwell.
"All right?" I asked her.
She nodded hesitantly. "Yeah ... I'm just a bit ... I don't know ... this is the first time I've been out since it happened ..."
"I know."
She smiled at me, anxiety showing in her eyes. "Where are we going?"
I smiled back. "Follow me."
I led her through the stairwell door and up the two flights of steps to the padlocked iron gate. I'd already been up earlier and unlocked it, so I just pushed it open, guided Lucy through to the steel-reinforced door, and locked the iron gate behind us. As I reached up to the keypad on the wall, tapped in the security code, and opened the door, Lucy gave me a puzzled look.