They have even taken underwear and blue jeans. They have
taken belts. They have taken everything.
The next morning our neighbors all greet us with smiles.
The next morning the boys across the street ask us how things
are going.
The next morning the head of the pack smiles and says hi
girls, next time we gonna come for you.
*
We are sleeping on the narrow mattress in the day. Next door
there is a thunderous sound. The thunderous sound moves
from one end of the apartment to the other and back again.
There are screams and laughs and things crash and break. The
feet are loud and fast, running back and forth. There is only a
thin wooden door between us and the next apartment. The
sound is very loud. It is not precisely human, not identifiably
human: it could be anything: like what? a herd of buffalo: we
are drifting off back to sleep: we dismiss it: it can’t be anything:
it is broad daylight: the sound is thunderous, back and forth,
back and forth: we sleep. Later, we go in. They have been
there, while we slept, in broad daylight. Everything is gone
except for what they left broken so we could see it good. They
didn’t take the TV that was in there. Instead they smashed it.
Hey girls we coming for you.
A knock on our door: head of the pack: hey we gonna pay
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you girls a visit soon. You ready for us. We gonna have a goodtime. He leans against the door. He smiles. I start to close the door. He stops me, still leaning. Hey girl that ain’t gonna help.
Ain’t nothin gonna help. We coming right in. When we ready.
*
lt is having been asleep, hearing them, hearing the smashing,
hearing the plundering, hearing the raucous laughs: hearing:
while out cold: in a coma of sleep: having seen their knives:
knowing them: sleeping through it but hearing it all the same.
They will come: when they ready.
*
I beg N not to go out but she has a date with R. I don’t really
beg, it isn’t in our code, but I ask, unlikely enough. I ask once.
To my way of thinking, it is begging, don’t leave me here
alone. She wants to go, to get out, to get away, with safe little
R in her safe little apartment. She is afraid. Don’t go.
*
I bolt the door behind them, thinking where I can go. The
banging starts. Knocking first. Then banging. The front door.
Hey you got no manners you don’t open the door. Hey it go
worse for you if you don’t open the door. Hey you want we
break it down. Hey you want we come in from next door.
Hey you want we use the back door girl. Banging. Banging.
Silence. Hey girl. Just wanna talk girl you ain’t gonna do no
better than that. You got thirty seconds girl then we come
through the front window girclass="underline" it break like a bone girclass="underline" you
ever see a bone break girl I gonna show you how you arm
break girclass="underline" and I got my boys in the back too you know that
girl. I go to the phone: police, even though they won’t come:
the line is cut: the phone is dead. The back is a jungle.
I open the door. The head of the pack is there. Behind him
there are seven or eight men, slouching, spitting, smoking. They
are several feet behind him. He is smaller than most of them,
dark, curly hair, not shaved, heavy moustache, earring in one
ear, gold, big dark eyes. Now girl this is the way it is, I keep
my word, you open the door we talk. Now you make a choice
girl. See these boys do what I say and now you let me in and
you take care of me real nice girl right now and we have a
good time or you close the door girl and we come in all together
and we get you good girclass="underline" you see girl you decide. He pulls out
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a knife: gold, ornate, the size of a dagger. He fingers it. What
do you want, I say. He says, hey girl I just wanna come in,
have a little smoke, make a little love girl what you think, but
these boys here they ain’t so nice as me they a little rough girl
sometimes they ain’t so nice but you take my word girl you let
me in and I tell them to go home and they go home. I don’t
know what he will do but I know what they will do. I take my
chances with him. I say, you have to leave the knife outside.
He says, no girl hey that knife she my friend she go with me
where 1 go girl. I say, I won’t let you in with the knife. OK,
girl, I put the knife right here, right on this here window girl,
and if anything happen to me girl my boys put this knife right
in your back you understand girl. I nod. He turns to them, says
something in Spanish. They linger. He talks again. They leave.
Ah you see girl you so sweet it hard for them to go but you a
friend of Joe now.
He saunters in, looks around. Oh yeah girl they was nice
records you had, nice. He saunters into the middle room, sits
on the mattress, takes off his shirt. A gold cross glimmers in
his hairy chest. Hey girl now you make me something to eat, I
got to have something to eat girl so I can screw you good. We
got time girl. We got all night. We don’t have much food, I
say. Oh yeah girl that right, well, what you got. I say, there are
hot dogs. You make me hot dogs girl. I want you to make me
hot dogs girl. I am counting the minutes, thinking that maybe
if I can keep him eating or talking or distracted N will come
back or it will get light or he will fall asleep or I will think of
something: I use pacifist strategies, try to make him see I am
human, ask him questions about himself. The boys still outside
girl, I holler and they come, so you cook girl. I cook.
He chatters. He grabs a sharp knife in the kitchen: hey girl
this for me not you. You thinking about using this on your
boyfriend Joe, that ain’t right girl. He eats. Why you not eating
girl? I say I am not hungry. I sit across the huge wooden table
from him, the kitchen dull in the artificial light of a bare bulb.
He eats. Oh this is good girl, you this good girl? We gonna
find out girl.
He drinks iced water. He drinks iced tea. He drinks vodka
out of the bottle. He gets up. OK girl you come.
He saunters back to the mattress. He takes off his pants. 1
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stand there. There is a banging on the door. I am frozen. Don’t
you say nothing girl or you gonna be dead. The sharp knife is
in his hand. I stand there, quiet, so still. The knocking continues. You know who that is girl? I nod yes, thinking that if I can get to the door maybe I can get help: but afraid it is his