When I looked over a few minutes later, the old man was gone.
“Guess our friend called it a night,” I said.
“I hope he’s not going outside.”
“He’s a ghost, remember? Ghosts don’t get cold.”
That’s the line that would stay with me. That’s the line I’d remember the next day, when we would find out what had happened. At that very moment, the two of us sitting there in the dining room, finishing the last of the champagne, the old man was out there. He had left the hotel. He had walked down Portage Avenue. He had taken a right onto Ashmun, and had made his way south, walking on the street lined with snowbanks and dark empty buildings on each side. It was snowing harder. He must have been walking slowly. He crossed the little bridge, over the frozen canal that cut off the downtown from the rest of Sault Ste. Marie. He made it as far as the bookstore on the right side of the road.
Was he already freezing at that moment, when I made my bad joke about ghosts not getting cold? I’ve been there myself. I know how it feels. You’re disoriented, you start talking to yourself. Things from your past come back to you. You can’t walk straight. Then finally, the ultimate irony. Or maybe the ultimate mercy. You don’t feel cold anymore. You don’t feel anything at all.
But, of course, we didn’t know. We hadn’t gone back to the elevator yet, feeling happy and full after the big meal, and still a little lightheaded from the champagne. We hadn’t kissed in the elevator and held tight to each other. We hadn’t seen the present he had left for us, on the floor in front of room 601.
I hadn’t gone back down to the lobby yet, looking for him, or asked the woman at the front desk if she had seen him. I hadn’t looked for the doorman, or gone outside myself with no coat on, to look up and down the street for some sign of the old man.
We didn’t know he was out there, the snow covering him at that very moment. Or that the snowplow would run over his frozen body early the next morning, nearly cutting him in half.
Ghosts don’t get cold. I said it, and then we finished our dinner and went upstairs. The thing was sitting there on the hallway carpet, right in front of the door. The door he had seen me go to. Whatever it was, it was covered by the big dinner napkin he’d had tucked into his collar.
I pulled the napkin off. Underneath was a hat, upside down, filled with ice and snow.
The man had apparently gone out to the sidewalk, filled his hat to the brim, and then brought it back inside to leave it here by the door. The ice and snow were already starting to melt and leak through the material, a dark stain spreading onto the carpet.
“What the hell,” I said. I bent down and picked it up.
“That’s the hat he was wearing, right? The old man downstairs?”
“It is. But why?”
“Wait a minute,” she said. “Is there something else inside there?”
She was right. I reached into the frozen mess and pulled out a piece of paper. It was the hotel stationery, and there were five words written in capital letters with an unsteady hand.
“What does it say?” she said.
I didn’t say anything. I just turned the piece of paper around and showed it to her.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Chapter Four
I took the hat with me to Jackie’s place the next day. I had come home that morning to plow the road again, having spent the night with Natalie on a strange hotel bed, after finding the hat with the ice and snow in it, along with the note, after going downstairs to look for the old man and then going out into the snowy night. I had come back to the room and we had talked about it.
“Are you sure you’ve never seen him before?” she had asked.
“I’m positive,” I said. “I don’t know the man.”
“Well, he didn’t leave it for me. I told you, I’ve never even been in this town before.”
“He might be confused,” I said. “Hell, maybe he has Alzheimer’s. That’s another reason to find him.”
So I had gone downstairs again. Nobody had seen the man, or even knew who he was. There was no sign of the doorman, either. The woman at the desk seemed to think he had gone out to look for the man. But she wasn’t sure.
I came back upstairs and found Natalie already in bed. When I lay down next to her, she told me she was feeling a little strange. “Just being here,” she had said. “In this place. It feels like it’s so far away from home.”
I couldn’t blame her. “Do you want to leave?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t want to leave.” Then she proved it to me. The streetlamp below our window cast a dim light on the ceiling, just enough for me to see her face as we came together. It felt different this time, whether it was just the place and the circumstances I couldn’t say.
The next morning, we left the hotel early, going our separate ways. I didn’t even check out at the desk. I just took the bill that had been slid under the door and left.
I took the hat with me. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe I thought it would help me figure out who the man was.
If we had stayed there a little longer, if we had gone downstairs and had breakfast, then we might have heard about the discovery down the street. But we didn’t. We left before they found him.
Now I sat there at the bar and looked at the hat, rotating it in my hands. It had obviously cost some money, way back when. It was gray with a slightly darker band. The lining felt like satin. The crease ran perfectly across the top. It was in excellent condition except for the new stains on it. As the stains dried, they left the pale residue of salt.
“What’s with the hat?” Jackie said. “Ashamed of that dye job you’re walking around with?”
“I told you, Jackie. I was just trying to rinse out some gray hair.”
“For this woman, I know. You did it for Natasha.”
“Her name is Natalie.”
“Let me see that hat,” he said. He looked at the label. “Borsalino, Milan and New York. This was a nice hat. What happened to it?”
I gave him the quick version of the story.
“You gotta be kidding me,” he said, turning the hat around. “Some old bird ruins a great old hat just to let you know he recognized you?”
“What would you call that, a fedora?”
“This is a homburg,” he said, trying it on. It fit him perfectly. “See how the brim is turned up all the way around? My father used to have one, back when men actually wore hats.”
“I’m gonna call the hotel,” I said. “See if they know anything more.”
“Hell of a thing,” he said, taking the hat off. “Doing this to a good homburg.”
He kept fooling with it while I called the hotel. He wet a dish towel and tried to rub away the salt stains, but it wasn’t working.
“Nope, this hat is a lost cause,” he said, then he stopped short when he saw my face.
When I was done, I thanked the woman and hung up the phone.
“What is it?” he said.
“The old man’s dead,” I said. “They found him outside in a snowbank.”
“Holy God.”
“She said his name was Simon Grant. He was eighty-two years old.”
“What happened? I mean, how did he-”
“He just walked outside. He went down Ashmun Street. They think he must have just got lost or got tired or something. They don’t really know. A snowplow ran over his body this morning.”
“Nobody should go that way,” Jackie said. “Nobody should freeze to death like an animal.”
I took the hat from him. “I have to call Natalie,” I said. I dialed the number and waited while it rang.
“What are you going to do with this hat?”
“Hell if I know,” I said. Her phone kept ringing.
“You should turn it in.”