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“I don’t know. He wouldn’t hurt me, I do know that. But I wasn’t raised the way your parents raised you. I’ve never been spanked. Hell, I don’t think they ever put me in timeout. It’s not the pain part either. I’ve dealt with pain that was far worse than what having my ass slapped could ever be. I think it’s the humiliation part of it. I mean, isn’t it kind of degrading?”

Alex hops off the counter. “I’ve heard it’s about dominance. Some men think they need to establish it and others do it because they think it turns women on to be controlled by a strong man. There’s a role-playing factor as well. Men threaten to spank, women defy them on purpose so their man will in fact spank them. Personally, I prefer to be the dominant one. Maybe I should start smacking Sean on the ass. Lord knows he deserves it.”

“Well I don’t deserve it and I sure as hell wasn’t role-playing with him.”

“Flower, you molested him in a freakin’ Dunkin’ Donuts and then he spilled hot coffee all over himself because of it. Jeez, I’m half tempted to paddle your ass for that one.” She grabs her bag and opens the front door. “Do what I used to do. Take it like a ‘man’ and move on. By the way, are you coming this weekend?”

I nod. “Yeah, my Dom and I will be there.”

Alex laughs. “Night, Flower.”

“Night.”

* * *

Had the coffee mishap not have happened I would be knocking down Oliver’s door to see him. I’m not afraid of apologizing, I’m afraid of rejection. In spite of all the confidence Oliver has given me and all the fears he’s taken away, there’s still lingering remnants of insecurity that hold their own memories and may never go away.

He might not be home. His car is out front, but he takes the T and walks to so many places, I can’t rely on his car to give away his location. I can surge over to his door and breach the frontline, or I can grab my knitting bag and wave the white flag from my front steps. If he’s home it might draw him out, if he’s not, well, at least I’ll get something accomplished.

By eight o’clock my ass is numb and I’m thinking I might need to unravel the mittens and start over. Ever since I met Oliver, this project has turned into a nightmare. I have dropped too many stitches to count and there’s no place for the thumb. I could always keep them for myself. On really cold days I move my thumb in with all my other fingers anyway.

Just as I start to stand up, thinking my white flag is being ignored, Chance pulls up and drops off Oliver. Before he drives off he waves and gives me a smile that makes my skin crawl—a dirty knowing smile.

Oliver doesn’t look in my direction. Instead, he stumbles up his front steps. He’s still wearing his coffee-stained work clothes and he appears to be drunk. Great way to start the week.

I watch him make one failed attempt after another to get the key in the lock while spewing off a few profanities. My brain tells me to go inside and let him work out his issues, but my heart won’t listen.

“Give me your key.” I grab it from his clumsy hand.

“Viv-i-an … I missed you … today.” I try not to laugh, but the way he slurs his words and tries to act sexy at the same time is cute, funny, and very entertaining.

I open the door and he drapes his arm around my shoulders as I help him inside. “You smell like dirt and beer.”

“I do?” he asks with incredulity.

I laugh. Drunk Oliver is playful. “Yes, you do. Up the stairs you go.” We pinball between the wall and the stair rail.

“Viv-i-an?”

“Yeah?”

“I came … so hard … in the coffee shop.”

I bite my lips together to keep my giggle contained. “Yes, I know.” I push him next to the bathroom sink so he has something to lean back on while I turn on the water to the shower.

“I’d like to fuck you … in the shower. We haven’t done … th-at.”

Focus, Viv!

How can his drunken words sound so seductive? I turn and realize he’s already doing it with his eyes. I’m fully clothed yet he’s undressed me. As he fumbles with the button and zipper to his jeans, I see evidence that his mind has done more than remove my clothes.

“Here.” I push his hands away from his pants and pull his shirt over his head then squat down to remove his boots and socks.

“Do you know … how many positions … I’ve had your body in … in my mind?”

I can’t hold in my laughter. The guy who’s a mute during sex is sharing all his uncensored thoughts with me. If only Maggie could hear my “gentleman” right now. I’m not sure whether I should just listen or if I should probe him for all his secrets, including what the hell is behind that locked door in the hall.

“My, my, Mr. Konrad, you sure are chatty tonight.” I tug his shorts and briefs down.

“I can think of other things…” he grabs my ass and yanks me against his naked body “…I’d rather be doing …” His eyes are heavy. “… with my mouth.”

“Yeah, well, as tempting as that sounds …” And, oh my, does it ever sound tempting. “… I think we should get you showered first.”

“Yes, we should.” He pushes me back and into the shower.

“Oli! My clothes!”

“Take them off.” He attacks my neck and gropes my breasts over my wet T-shirt. “Then bend over. I’m taking you from behind.”

Even in his drunken state he has the power to make my whole body blush. Oliver Konrad is one kinky bastard. I shove his hands away and push on his chest until he stumbles back landing on the corner seat of the large tile shower. “Just behave for a minute, will you?” I lather up my hands and wash his hair and then work my way down his body, making each move quick and to the point. I skim my hands down his legs.

“Did you forget something?” He smirks while grabbing my hand and moving it to his erection.

I shake my head and slide my soapy hand up the length of it just once then continue down his legs again.

“Oh sure, now you don’t want to stroke my dick. You only like it when we have an audience, huh?”

I smile feeling the giggles building again.

“You think this is funny?” He laughs which makes this whole conversation that much funnier.

“I think you’re an adorable drunk.” I take the handheld showerhead and rinse him off.

He grabs my hand and directs the showerhead to my crotch. “Do you do this to yourself at home? Do you like the way it vibrates your pussy?”

Hilarious! Oh my God, Oliver is going to have me peeing in the shower, and with my luck he’d roll around in it because right now nothing he could say or do would shock me. When he looks up at me, I raise an eyebrow because I wonder when he’s going to realize that the showerhead pressed against the crotch of my thick fabric shorts does nothing for me.

The locked door in the hall is high on my curiosity list, but before this truth serum wears off there’s one more thing for which I need an honest answer. I massage my fingernails along his scalp as he looks up at me.

“What did you really think of my back when I first showed you?”

He looks into my eyes and smiles. “I thought you were a gift, an apology from God.”

I stand corrected. He just shocked me.

I’m not sure what it is, but I know he just revealed a huge piece of his past to me. However, his puzzle is still too jumbled to figure out what any of it really means.

“I’m soaked.” I spray him in the face. “Let’s get out.” Shutting off the water, I wring out my hair then grab a towel.

“You’re such a cock tease today.” He shakes his head while struggling to his feet.