When we lie next to each other in bed, I sense him working up the nerve to tell me something, maybe everything. Then just as quickly as the moment comes, it vanishes and I’m left wondering when. When will he tell me what’s behind that damn locked door? When will he tell me why we sleep on a flat mattress with no pillows? When will he tell me why he has a Harvard education yet spends all day playing in the dirt and working for pennies?
“Maybe you should see if Alex is okay with you leaving your bed here.” Oliver says as we survey my empty bedroom with the exception of my childhood twin bed.
“What if we took it apart and stored it in your spare bedroom?”
“I already have a bed in there.”
“I mean the other one.”
He tenses staring at the bed then turns and walks downstairs.
That went well.
“Hey!”
He stops at the bottom of the stairs. I walk down and hug his back. “I’m sorry.”
Turning, he runs his hands through my hair and stares at me with such pain I feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes and I don’t even know why. I’m on the precipice of waiting for my world to begin and end at the same time.
“It’s none of my business.” He flinches and the last thing I want is to cause him pain, but I have. I reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, then I wait. He moves his mouth with mine and all I want is for him to feel my lucid emotions. He is my forever even if I am nothing more than his now.
“Get a room,” Alex says, coming in the front door.
“You’re back early.”
She hugs me. “Yes, we had to bring Kai back. He’s a mess.”
I let go and look at Oliver to see if he heard her, but he’s too busy talking to Sean. They’re both smiling. I wasn’t sure how Sean would be toward Oliver since he and Kai are such good friends.
“I can’t think about Kai anymore.”
Alex gives me a sad smile. “I know.” She gestures to the boxes sitting by the front door. “When you messaged me that you were moving in with Oliver I didn’t think you meant this weekend.”
I shrug. “I’m there all the time anyway and I don’t have that much stuff so we decided to just do it today.”
“You do realize you’re going to have to tell your parents.”
I nod. “I know. I need to tell my parents a lot of things.”
Alex sighs. “I don’t suppose you’re going to keep paying me rent, huh?”
“Dream on. You’re going to have to actually work with us at The Green Pot a little more often so your parents don’t wonder why you’re suddenly asking for spending money.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a traitor, you know. I took you in because you didn’t have a life and you needed a hiding place for a few years and you told me I wouldn’t have to worry about you bringing guys home or not being here to keep an eye on things for me. Now look what you’ve gone and done.”
I flash her a wry grin. “Sorry.”
Alex bumps my arm with her shoulder. “Whatever. Sex looks good on you.”
The room falls silent and two sets of male eyes fall on us. “What are you two looking at? God! Typical men, the only time you’re not selectively deaf is when the words sex, pussy, and tits are mentioned.” Alex rolls her eyes.
“We just heard sex, babe. Did we miss pussy and tits earlier?”
“Shut up!” Alex marches over to Sean and he instinctively protects his balls. She punches him in the arm. “Help Oliver carry theses boxes across the street so Flower and I can have a few minutes alone to compare the size of your penises.”
Both Oliver and Sean divert their eyes to the boxes. Their nervous embarrassment is palpable. “I’m just kidding.” Alex laughs. “We both already know whose is bigger.”
Oliver looks at me with wild eyes, but all I can do is laugh.
“Come on, Flower.” Alex locks arms with me and pulls me to the kitchen.
“You’re terrible.”
Alex opens a bottle of wine and fills two glasses. “Sean loves it.”
“No, Sean loves you, he tolerates your crude behavior.”
She takes a sip of her wine. “What about Oliver? What is there about you that he tolerates?”
“My insatiable sex drive.”
Alex coughs and grins. “I knew it! I bet you’re a real naughty little vixen.”
I swallow my wine and smile.
“Oh my gosh, Flower! Are you into kinky shit? Sean is so not working for you … ever!”
“It’s not just about sex, it’s sex with Oliver. It’s … life-altering and mind-blowing, like an out-of-body experience.”
She shakes her head and takes another sip of wine. “An out-of-body experience?”
I nod and smile with a soft sigh just thinking about it.
“So while some of us are giving the nubbin a rubbin’ after our man fails to get the job done, you’re having a freaking out-of-body experience. That’s great, Flower … just great. Sean has got to up his game. Maybe we should try some of that spanking you and Oliver do.”
“Shh …” I look out to see where the guys are. “We haven’t done that,” I whisper. “At least not yet.”
“Yet?”
I grin. “Yet. It’s been a joke between us. I think that’s all it’s going to be, but I’m not sure.”
“Yeah, well there’s a little truth to everything. Men are animalistic by nature. About a year ago Sean pulled out early and spewed his spunk all over my breasts like he felt the need to mark me or some shit like that. I told him to clean it up or he’d be tasting my piss in his coffee the next morning.”
I choke on my wine. “Did-didn’t need to—know that.” I clear my throat.
“Well, I’m just telling you so you can be prepared. One day it’s a friendly pat on your bare ass, the next day he shows up with a sack containing shackles, an anal speculum, and a bottle of Sour Sin Sations Ravishing Raspberry lubricant.”
“Sour Sin Sation—”
Alex waves a dismissive hand in the air. “Don’t ask. My point is you need to remember that your perfect sex stallion is in fact a man, AKA a kinky bastard with fantasies that are just too unimaginable for such a young and inexperienced little flower.”
“Anal speculum?” I blink in rapid succession.
“You’re completely missing the point, Flower. Never mind, let’s see if those boys are done hauling your stuff.”
“I need to go visit my parents.” I say while unpacking my clothes in Oliver’s—our closet.
“Are you going to confess that you haven’t been in school the past two years?” Oliver pulls out a pair of my I’ll-be-a-virgin-for-life cotton panties and smiles.
I snatch them from him, giving him a glowering squint. “Yes and I think I should give them my new address and introduce them to my …”
“Your what?” Oliver grabs my panties back and brings them to his nose. Alex is right, men are animals.
“My perverted boyfriend.” I tug them away. “Fabric softener, they smell like fabric softener you freak.”
He laughs. “So let’s go next weekend.”
“No, it’s your birthday, but how would you feel about the following weekend?”
He tosses the empty box toward the door then plops down on the bed with his hands laced behind his head.
“Even better. I’m sure your parents want to see you on your birthday.” He winks with a smarty-pants grin.
“How do you know my birthday?”
“I have my sources. When were you going to tell me?”