“No, I’m just artificially confident and chemically relaxed.” I laugh at my own joke. It was a good one; at least after those three beers it sounds funny to me. “Eee!” I squeal as he grabs my waist and pulls me into the alley.
Oliver pins me against the wall with his body, his warm breath heavy on my face. The carnal need in his intense eyes and firm lips evaporates all humor between us. Strong hands slide down my arms and around to my ass. He squeezes it with a sudden jerk toward him. His arousal nudging my abdomen.
“Oli—”
He presses his mouth to mine and our tongues explore with determined strokes. My hands tug the button on his jeans until it’s released. The zipper follows and my hand kneads and strokes him through his briefs as he rocks his pelvis into my touch. He moans into my mouth with deep intensity.
His hands clench my dress, yanking it up once. I hum into his mouth with untamed anticipation. He grips my dress lower and yanks up one more time, completely exposing me from the waist down.
I wait for him to chastise me for my lack of panties, but he doesn’t. His right hand moves mine off his erection. He releases himself and with his left hand he hitches my leg to his waist and thrusts into me.
“Oh God!” I yell, letting my head fall back as his invasion stretches the part of me that’s forgotten the capacity of his touch.
Oli grabs the back of my head and pulls my lips to his again, muting my cries. I grip his hair holding him with just as much need while releasing small whimpers. I’ve missed him so much his touch is almost painful. Our bodies are starving and can’t get close enough—can’t find that release fast enough. He moves in me with the speed and determination of a race horse coming around the last turn. His upward momentum collides with my downward descent, sending a crescendo of pleasure through my body. My mouth goes slack, my standing knee buckles, and he digs all his fingers into my legs slamming me onto him one last time while pressing me to the wall.
“Oh shit … that … was …” His head falls to my shoulder as his labored lungs search for oxygen. He dots a trail of feathery kisses up my neck, stopping at my ear. “I’ve missed you like doughnuts would miss coffee.”
I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you more, like peanut butter would miss jelly or hot chocolate would miss marshmallows.”
He grabs my other leg and hoists me up around his waist and kisses me again, taking his time, savoring this moment. “My love…” Oli looks at me with soft eyes and a growing smile. “I’ve missed you like my heart would miss its own beat.”
Oliver
Raven hair fanned out on a pillow. I never imagined I could love the sight of a pillow again. I was wrong. Vivian magically makes everything … better. Twenty-four hours ago I was three-thousand miles away and miserable. Now I’m me. Oliver, who loves rowing and dinner with friends and family. I’m the boy who dreamed of playing for the Red Sox from the moment I got my first baseball glove. I’m the guy who wants to call up his buddies from college and see if they want to play basketball in the park. This Oliver wants to hold on to the woman next to him forever.
I trace her tattoo as she sleeps on her stomach. Then I kiss every cluster of buds that I know hides her scars. But I don’t see them and I can’t feel them. It’s become impossible for me to see anything but a beautiful, radiant woman through and through.
“Good morning, babe.” She rolls toward me so her back is against my chest.
I wrap her in my arms and kiss the top of her head. “It’s the best morning.”
She traces gentle circles on my arms with her nails. “Can I ask you something?”
I laugh. “You just did.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yes. You can ask me anything.”
She pauses. I feel the weight of her question before she ever asks it.
“Why can’t you have children anymore?”
I release the breath that I’ve been holding. “Because I did some stupid shit after what happened.”
“Like drugs?”
“Like selling almost everything we owned and burning what wouldn’t sell, like our wedding album, and all our other photos, except for one.”
“The one of Melanie?”
I nod against her shoulder as I kiss it.
“So are you saying all the heat from the burning caused damage to your sperm like a hot tub or something?”
I chuckle. “No. It’s true about losing a child: It’s the ultimate loss. At the time I knew only one thing for sure—I never wanted to experience that again. So I got a vasectomy.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I regret making rash decisions at the time, even if they weren’t all wrong decisions.”
She turns in my arms to face me. “Was the vasectomy a wrong decision?”
I let myself fall into her eyes because I know somehow all the answers I’ll ever need are in there. “It was if you want to have children with me.”
“Do you want to have children with me?”
I kiss her forehead. “I want you and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
“That’s not an answer.”
My lungs deflate, she does that to me—strips me down, exposes my weaknesses, and takes the part of me I don’t willingly give.
“I can’t imagine ever wanting children again because I can’t look at a baby right now and not see Melanie. But the only thing that’s more unimaginable than that is living without you.”
She kisses me, awakening my whole body. I have to remind a certain part that this is a serious moment and it’s not being called into action despite the mixed signals percolating through my mind.
“I love you and I’m so glad you’re home.” She nuzzles into my neck. “Mmm … it was a slow torture, but I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want you to feel rushed or conflicted. But now that you’re home I can say it…” she kisses her way down my chest “…I was miserable.” Her tongue teases over my abs. “God, I missed you.”
My dick hardens under her touch. She strokes me a few times with a desirous grin on her face, eyes locked on mine.
“Vivian …” I need to tell her.
“Hmm?” She sits up and straddles me.
“I need…” my thoughts begin to drift as she guides my hands to her breasts “…to tell you…” I squeeze her perky tits in my hands, circling my thumbs over her nipples. “…something.” My words are nothing more than a strained whisper.
She sinks onto me with a soft moan. “What’s that, babe … mmm …” She closes her eyes as I fill her.
“Nothing … it’s nothing.”
I’ll admit it, I’m such a guy. Sex trumps everything. The few times I’ve managed to resist her seductress temptations can only be described as aliens taking over my brain. I should have called and told her my plans. The surprise, while priceless, was not worth the pain I’m going to cause.
“Where are you going?”
She slips on her clothes and pulls her hair back. “I have to work today, but just until one.”
“But I just got here.” What the hell! I sound like a whiny kid.
“I know, I’ll make it up to you later and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next …” She winks and blows me a kiss.
I sit up in bed, running my fingers through my hair as I sigh. “Vivian, I’m not staying.”
She peeks around the corner with her toothbrush in her mouth. “What do you mean?” She mumbles over a mouthful of toothpaste suds.
I slip into my shorts and stand at the entrance to the bathroom. “I’m just here for the weekend. I needed to get a few things … I leave again tomorrow.”
She freezes with the toothbrush still in her mouth and stares with a blank expression at my reflection in the mirror.