“For what?” Oliver asks.
“Insubordination.”
I cough. “Sounds like Chance is an alpha male.”
“Would you like to find out?” He wiggles his brows at me.
“Would you like to go on your next date with all your teeth?” Oliver says through clenched teeth.
“Enough, boys. I’d like to know what happened to the respectful young men we raised.” Jackie gives them both a tightlipped, disapproving glance.
Hugh stands while looking at his phone. “Well, if you find them, sweetheart, let me know.” He smiles. “I have to go into the hospital.”
Oliver and Chance walk their dad out while I help clear the table with Jackie.
“You know if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” Jackie takes the plates from me and sets them in the sink.
“Thank you.” I blink back the tears. All day I’ve felt on the verge of losing it. My emotions are eating me alive. “I just wish I could help him, that’s all.”
“Ah, sweetie, you are. I wish you could see that. He would not have gone back to Portland had he not met you.”
I look up and laugh because that’s not too comforting right now.
She takes both of my hands and squeezes them. “I know this has been hard for you, but trust me when I say that Oliver is finding his way back to you. Even if he doesn’t recognize it, that’s what he’s doing.”
I shake my head and swallow back the emotions. “Well it feels like one hell of a detour.”
“It is and I hope and pray with all my heart that you both have what it takes to survive it. Not very many couples have what you two have. It’s not just love, it’s friendship and respect. You laugh and play together and the passion between you is enough to make a momma like myself blush.”
We both smile.
“It helps to talk, and in case you haven’t heard, I’m a pretty good listener.”
I grin and hug her. “Thank you, I’ll remember that when I hit my blue moments again.”
“Call me anytime, okay?”
I nod.
“What’s going on in here?” Chance asks as he and Oliver come back inside.
“Girl talk,” Jackie answers.
I dab my fingers to the corners of my eyes while seeing the concern on Oliver’s face.
“We’re taking off, Mom.” He hugs her.
“Have a safe trip, Oliver.”
Chance gives him a hug too. “Let me know when you’re coming back to work for me. I’ll cut the vagina with a hammer loose.”
“Nah … it’s too much fun hearing how much she busts your chops.”
Chance grumbles something under his breath.
Oliver holds out his hand. “Shall we?”
“We shall.”
Oliver
The pain in her eyes floods me with guilt. More guilt. I swear I’m drowning in it. Melanie, Caroline, her parents, my parents, Vivian … it’s overpowering me in every direction.
We feed Rosenberg and head upstairs. There’s a sadness between us that’s hard to ignore. I miss her laughter. I got a mild version of it tonight, but not like I remember. The Vivian I fell in love with is cute and sassy with a carefree attitude and a penchant for doughnuts. I haven’t seen her eat a doughnut in months. Maybe I’m wearing her down too much. Everyone has a breaking point. I’m afraid Vivian has been so giving or flexible with me that she could break and it would be so subtle I wouldn’t notice until it’s too late.
“I need a shower.” Her voice is barely audible as she passes by me in the closet carrying her robe.
“Want some company?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
My head drops—hell, my whole body slumps. When did anything between us not matter? I shrug off my shirt and remove my jeans and briefs.
The steam from the shower pours out as I open the door. Bloodshot eyes look up at me through inky wet hair.
“I can still see your tears.”
Her beautiful face contorts like a knife is being driven through her body. “I don’t want to say goodbye again.” A sob escapes with her last word.
“I’ll stay.” I take her in my arms and let the water drown my own tears. This woman is everything in a world I was convinced was filled with nothing. And maybe that’s it. Maybe apart we are nothing and together we’re everything. Is it really that crazy to think that in a world with over seven billion people, it’s quite possible we weren’t meant to live alone—that maybe, just maybe, we need each other?
“Oli…” she looks up at me and presses her palms to my face “…love me.”
I close my eyes and cover her hands with mine. And then … I love her.
My lips seek hers with magnetic touch. She’s all I ever taste. My hands melt into the curve of her breasts until she arches her back. Her skin, it’s all I ever feel.
“Oli …” She whispers my name. It’s all I ever hear.
I lead with my hands and follow with my lips, taking the slow journey down her body—feeling, tasting, memorizing. Kneeling, I pull her to me and she eases onto me with slow, agonizing perfection.
“Love me.” Her soft words echo in my ear as she wraps her whole body around mine.
I’m at war with myself. My body wants to move with hers, giving and taking pleasure to the likes of which I’ve never experienced before, or will ever again. My heart … it wants to hold her in idle perfection … forever.
She moves against me, her body begging for our perfect pleasure, and my body wins over my heart. I taste her lips, suck in her sweet tongue, and knead her breasts.
“Look at me, Vivian.”
She opens her eyes, water raining between us, a few drops clinging to her long lashes. As I rock up into her, deeper every time, her cherry lips part and her tongue slides along her lower lip. The warm staccato of our breathing mingling between our mouths.
Vivian’s eyes leaden as I rub her clitoris.
“Stay with me, baby.”
She pulls them open again. “Oli …”
I need this. I need to see something other than pain in this woman’s eyes. I need to see passion, love, life … us.
Gripping her hips, I grunt from deep in my chest and bury myself in her so deep I swear I just lost my mind and it may never be found again. Every muscle tenses as I still, releasing into her. Exhausted, I rest my forehead against hers. We share weak smiles before our heavy eyelids surrender.
Vivian … sprawled out on her stomach, diagonally, across our bed, naked, sated, and mine. Until this moment I hadn’t realized that I’d been holding my breath for eight weeks. How did I do that? How does one live without breathing? How could I possibly live without her?
I’ve traced her tattoo so many times in the light of the moon I think I could recreate it with my eyes closed. Her fun and witty personality brings a spontaneous smile to my face even when I’m alone. Her beauty is the brightest star in my sky. And the sex is—indescribable. But this … tracing flower buds and counting freckles, I’m in Heaven. Vivian is my heaven.
“Wondering what I looked like before all that ink and the nasty scars it hides?”
“Shh…” I kiss her shoulder. “It’s two in the morning. Go back to sleep.”
She rolls to her side and kisses my chest. “It’s okay. Sometimes I try to imagine what the pre-Caroline Oliver was like.”
I twirl a lock of her long hair around my finger. “And?”
“And I can’t. Which makes me think that I wouldn’t have been part of that life.” She places the palm of her hand on my chest, over my heart, and spreads out her fingers. “So I don’t go there anymore, because a life without Oliver Konrad isn’t a life at all.”