And in that moment, he truly understood the love Kody must have felt for him. It was one thing to have someone say that they loved you, it was another to actually understand the sacrifice they’d made for you.
To know absolute grief and true regret firsthand.
Nick glanced over to Xevikan as his words to Ameretat about misery became crystal. In that moment, the magnitude of their shared pain hit him hard. They were all puppets and pawns who’d been placed into a game none of them really understood. A game with no rules and no boundaries.
Winner take all.
If I could have one more day, I would so make it count.
Death brought clarity. And in that moment, Nick realized that what he missed most was the fact that he’d never see Kody again. Never have a chance to prove to her that he could be more than what he’d been born for.
That even he, Nick Gautier, could defy his cursed destiny and become the man she and his mother thought him to be. Now he would never be able to do better for them.
Game over.
A tear slid from the corner of his eye as the darkness he’d fought so hard against claimed him for the final round.
CHAPTER 19
Nick felt himself falling down another abyss. And with each second that passed, his stomach cramped more. After all his best efforts, he was headed south instead of up to the Pearly Gates. It figured.
Man, would his mom be disappointed after the number of masses she’d dragged him to. The only thing all that Sunday genuflecting had gotten him was really strong leg muscles.
But then he hadn’t lived the most perfect of lives. And he only had himself to blame for the decisions that had brought him here. The saints knew, his mom had definitely done her best to keep him on the straight and narrow. As the old saying went, there was a reason why there was only a single stairway to heaven, but an entire highway to hell.
Finally, he stopped his free fall. For once, he didn’t slam into anything. It was actually a gentle landing that didn’t jar him at all. Well, at least hell wasn’t as hot as they’d told him it would be.
Taking a deep breath for courage, he opened his eyes to face the devil on his own turf.
Nick scowled as he stared up into a familiar gaze. “Dog, Satan, you look a lot like a demon friend of mine. Are you related to Caleb Malphas?”
“Simi, fetch that dagger. I’m going to stab him again. Preferably somewhere that’ll count.”
Simi tsked as she moved to stare down at Nick, too, and rub his cheek in a motherly fashion. “You don’t want to do that, Akri-Caleb. You gots a big enough mess to clean up already. Why you want to add more nasty blood to it?”
Stunned and confused, Nick glanced around the room. He was flat on his back, in Caleb’s house. “I’m not dead?”
Xevikan shook his head and made a sound of supreme disgust. “This is our Malachai?” He scowled at Livia. “Please, gods, someone tell me this is some kind of sick joke.”
“Not a joke.” Caleb offered Nick his hand. “C’mon, Cajun. Now that you’re whole, we need to get you up and over to holy ground to complete the ritual before we’re interrupted again.”
“What ritual?”
Xevikan lifted his hood and concealed his face. “Putting us back in our boxes.”
Taking Caleb’s hand, Nick allowed the demon to pull him to his feet. “I’m behind a level here. Anyone got the cheat code to catch me up?”
Caleb rubbed at his bruised jaw. “It wasn’t until Ameretat grabbed your body that it dawned on me that if you died, the foreign soul would leave this realm, and with your essence here, it would naturally return to its vessel.… And so it did.”
Simi grinned. “When it did, Akri-Caleb healed your body.”
Heck of a gamble the demon had taken with his life. “You had no doubt it would work?”
Caleb looked about nervously. “No … none whatsoever.” Yeah, that robotic tone called him out.
“You’re such a liar.”
Laughing, Caleb shrugged nonchalantly. “Only an idiot tells a Malachai a truth he doesn’t want to hear.”
“Yes, but I could learn to love that idiot.”
“Sure you could.” Caleb narrowed those dark eyes on him. “Seriously. Are you all right?”
Nick cocked his head as he took a moment to savor the fact that he was alive and back to a height he was used to. Yeah, he much preferred this vantage point. He’d even take the scar above his eyebrow and those despised “cute” dimples his mom was always begging him to flash. And though he was a little dizzy, it wasn’t so bad.
But there was one thing he definitely wanted to check on.
Holding his hand up, he manifested a fireball in his hand. “Oh yeah. Missed you, baby.” He clenched his fist and extinguished the flames then kissed his hand and grinned. “Where’s my mom?”
“Bubba, Mark, and Menyara are guarding her at Bubba’s store.”
Caleb’s words stunned him. While his mom loved him and Menyara, she was no fan of Bubba or Mark. “She’s okay with that?”
“Not really. Told she attempted to claw out Mark’s eyes when he made the mistake of trying to explain to her why she couldn’t see you in the midst of what the weather people are calling Tropical Storm Lacy.”
“Beautonius.” Nick frowned as he took in the blood covering his defenders. Each one of them had taken a beating for him and he was grateful for their loyalty. Heaven knew, they didn’t have to. “Do we need to get y’all to Sanctuary for Carson to look at and patch up?”
“What do you care?” Xevikan snarled from the bowels of his hood.
Caleb stepped between them. “He cares.”
Grimacing, Livia pressed her hand against the cut she had across her stomach. “It’s nothing. Really. We’ll live.” She glanced at Xevikan. “We always do.”
Nick inclined his head to her. “Thank y’all, by the way. You didn’t have to help.”
Xevikan scoffed. “Of course we did. It’s what we do. Bleed for the Malachai.”
Nick looked at Caleb for an explanation. “I thought the ušumgallu were crazed killers who would tear the world apart without me.”
“Without you, they would. They’re your rabid attack dogs, Nick.” Caleb glanced at them in turn. “They require a firm hand on their leashes, otherwise they have a nasty tendency to turn on their masters. It’s why the Malachai keeps them contained.”
“Yeah, but that’s not what they’ve shown me. They’ve been really decent … to all of us. Heroes, even.”
Livia arched her brows as Xevikan lowered his hood to stare at him with an unsettling intensity.
Caleb shook his head. “No, Nick, don’t even think what I know you’re thinking. Trust me, they’re animals who need to be kept caged.”
“Careful, daeve,” Zavid said in a low tone. “You’re treading dangerous ground.”
Caleb ignored him. “Nick, I’ve got history with Xevikan. You cannot trust him. At all. He will betray you. It’s why he’s marked and cursed.”
Xevikan had no reaction to those words at all. It was as if he expected nothing else.
Nick met that cold, rusty-green gaze. “One thing Acheron and Kody have taught me. There’s always two sides to every story. What’s your version?”
Only then did he look at Caleb. Something odd and painful passed between them. “I was the one who was betrayed and given a fate and punishment worse than death.” Bitter rage radiated in that thick accent.
Nick didn’t know what their history was, but he couldn’t punish someone who’d bled for him. Someone who hadn’t hesitated to defend them all.
Even Caleb, who seemed to hate him. Surely Xevikan couldn’t be that bad? Or else he’d have stayed out of the fight and let the Arelim have them.