It would be a relief to her, Lief knew, if the matter hanging between them was put into words.
He was very aware that the stem of the Pirran Pipe, retrieved from the pile of shattered glass on the Isle of Auron, was at this very moment firmly tucked inside the Piper’s robe. He knew it would not be wise to anger the Piper now.
But he had to speak his mind, for all their sakes.
‘You used us, Piper,’ he said. ‘We suspected that you were using us as tools to obtain the stem of the Pirran Pipe. But you were doing much more than that. You were using us as a weapon to destroy the dome.’
‘To destroy the thing that was sucking the life from my people?’ the Piper said mildly, licking his fingers. ‘Yes, I did. Would you not do the same for Deltora?’
Lief hesitated.
‘Of course you would, Lief,’ Jasmine said sharply. ‘You can be cold and calculating enough when you believe the good of the kingdom requires it.’
‘What do you mean, Jasmine?’ Lief exclaimed, startled by the sudden, bitter note in her voice.
Jasmine shrugged. ‘If you think a secret should be kept, for example, you keep it,’ she said shortly. ‘Even from those it most concerns.’
She looked down at her hands to avoid Lief’s eyes. She was furious with herself. She had not meant to speak so rashly.
She had tried not to think of Faith, the little sister who was a prisoner in the Shadowlands and who Lief had tried to prevent her from discovering. She had tried not to think of the high-born Toran girl Lief had brought in secret to the palace to become his queen.
Most of the time she was successful. But now and again she remembered, and the knowledge jabbed at her heart like a spear, making her lash out in anger and pain.
Lief felt his face grow hot. He remembered Jasmine’s hasty words on the island.
I have forgotten nothing … I thought you had, however.
Was it possible that Jasmine had guessed the secret he had kept at such cost to himself? The secret that was like a crushing burden?
No, surely not. He and Doom had been so careful!
He glanced at Barda. But Barda had turned to look out the window, as though there was something of great interest happening on the silent street.
Jasmine simply suspects there is a secret, Lief told himself. She feels the barrier that hidden knowledge always creates between two people who have always spoken the truth to one another.
Lief felt it himself, and he hated it. He longed to tear the barrier down. To end the terrible, aching loneliness it made him feel at moments like this.
But he knew he could not. Not until all was safe. Not until Deltora’s future had been secured.
He became aware that the Piper was regarding him curiously, and his blush deepened.
‘It is sometimes necessary for leaders to do things they would prefer not to do,’ the Piper said, as though he was speaking to himself. ‘Sometimes they have to put aside their own wishes, even their own deepest longings, for the greater good of all. It is … not pleasant. Especially when their actions anger those they care about.’
Jasmine did not raise her head. But Lief could see that she had heard. He prayed that she had also understood.
‘You think, no doubt, that I am evil,’ the Piper went on, in the same even tone. ‘You think Penn tricked you, on my orders. You think I used you as tools to destroy the dome. You think that I cared nothing for your lives, or the lives of the people who may have lived on the island.’
‘It did occur to us,’ said Barda dryly.
The Piper shrugged his narrow shoulders. ‘It is true that I forced poor Penn to do what she did,’ he said, glancing at the history-keeper, who had bowed her head. ‘She was sorely distressed by the task. Like all raft-dwellers she respects truth above everything else. I suggested that she let you read our history, so she would not have to tell it.’
‘But the history was not complete,’ said Lief. ‘The two parchments Penn gave us were torn, the first at the bottom, the second at the top. They were once part of the same document, I think. You tore a section from the middle before giving the story to us. Is that not so?’
Penn nodded miserably. Without speaking, she crawled to her feet and went over to the hanging baskets. She slid a fragment of parchment from the back of one of them, returned to the stove and thrust the scrap into Lief’s hand.
‘If I had allowed Penn to show you the whole parchment, would you have helped us?’ the Piper asked, turning his cold little eyes on Lief.
Lief hesitated. ‘We needed the second part of the Pirran Pipe,’ he said finally. ‘We would have entered the dome, even if the truth was known to us.’
‘Perhaps,’ agreed the Piper. ‘But perhaps you would have been so careful in what you said that the dome would have remained closed, and my people would have continued to live in growing darkness. I could not take that risk.’
He sighed. ‘So I am guilty of the first charge you have laid at my feet. But I am not guilty of the others.’
He took some bread from the basket and bit into it. ‘I knew the dome-dwellers would not harm you, for blood may not be spilled inside the dome,’ he said thoughtfully, with his mouth full. ‘And I did not think that you or anyone else would have to face the Arach. I thought the dome would shatter, the light would return to the caverns, and the Arach would flee to the dimness of the caves at once.’
‘But that did not happen,’ said Barda gruffly. ‘Auris kept the spell alive. He held the dome, damaged as it was, in place with all the force of his will. Only his death ended it.’
‘Indeed.’ The Piper shrugged. ‘I had not counted on that. But as soon as we realised what had happened, Penn and I called the guards. Then we entered the dome ourselves, even before the guards arrived, to do what we could to aid you.’
He took another bite of the bread, and glanced at Penn. ‘What use we could have been, I do not know,’ he said, chewing. ‘As I told Penn, we were almost certainly going to our deaths. But she insisted. Fortunately, the man Auris expired in time to save us all.’
Lief shuddered as a vision of Auris’s terrible death rose before his eyes. He glanced at the Piper with dislike, then looked away, repelled by his coldness.
And yet, he thought … for all his seemingly uncaring words, the Piper had entered the dome. Had put his own life at risk.
Lief looked again at the small, wrinkled Auron, who was chewing his bread with every appearance of enjoyment. Whatever he pretended, the Piper was not without feeling. Not without honour or courage. He was just a being who preferred to keep his emotions locked within himself. It was his way of surviving.
‘We never dreamed there would be just one soul left on the island,’ Penn burst out, breaking her silence at last. ‘We knew there would not be a large number, however. The dome-dweller colony could never have thrived. Fewer and fewer children were being born to the tribe, even at the time our ancestors left it.’
The Piper nodded, swallowing. ‘Children are not good at living a lie. Children have too much energy, are too impatient, and ask too many questions,’ he said.
He glanced slyly at Jasmine. ‘Some people, indeed, keep these qualities long past the age of childhood,’ he added. ‘That, I think, is a good thing. But it is not always comfortable for those who love them.’
In the tense silence that followed, he calmly finished eating. Then he brushed the crumbs from his hands, and fumbled in the folds of his robe.
‘Here is the stem of the Pirran Pipe,’ he said, drawing out a small piece of carved wood and handing it casually to Lief. ‘Use it as you will. We would be glad to have it back when you have achieved your aim, but for now we can do without it.’
Lief took the stem of the Pipe in trembling hands. As he touched it, his whole body tingled, and the Pipe’s music rang in his ears. He took the mouthpiece from the inside pocket of his shirt, and screwed the two pieces together.