“You want to keep control of the situation?”
“What do you mean?”
“It could be that with more imagers around . . .”
This time, he shook his head. “No, one of the reasons for the isolation is for your protection. I can protect myself. You can’t yet. What if another junior imager made a mistake?”
“Oh . . . I should have thought of that, sir.”
“After you thought of my being hurt, you should have. One of the problems that young men have is that while they can think of what may happen to others, they don’t think how their actions or those of their peers may result in great injury to themselves. Think of it this way. After the hearing, didn’t you worry that someday some master might charge you with some offense?”
“Ah . . . yes, sir.”
“Did you think about the fact that if you avoided doing unwise or prohibited acts you wouldn’t have that worry?”
I hadn’t, not really.
“You see?” He raised both eyebrows.
“But, sir . . . most of us have done things we regret or worry about, sometimes before we knew better . . .” I wasn’t quite sure what I was suggesting was wise, but I had to know.
He nodded slowly. “That is true for many of you, generally for the most gifted, such as you. You are referring to the unfortunate death of your previous master, are you not?”
I just sat there, stone-cold. I shouldn’t have said anything, and yet . . .
“You’re surprised? I receive copies of all the patroller reports in L’Excelsis. We look at them carefully where deaths and strange occurrences are involved, particularly when a younger person is involved. It is often suggestive. Very few of the most talented imagers do not have a death or an injury to another that has come from their discovery or development of their ability. The only question is whether they worry about it or suffer for it. Those who do not suffer, or understand that they should, are useful only for the Army or the Navy, or for the machine works, for they have no restraints. I’m glad you brought the matter up, and even gladder that you did indirectly, at least indirectly for one who is not experienced in indirection.”
“You knew and let me become an imager?”
“Had you not come to us, Rhenn,” Master Dichartyn said quietly, “within the month, you would have been found dead on the street. You had the wisdom to understand what you had become, and the strength, even with the worry you carried, to cross the Bridge of Hopes. Why do you think it is called that?” His smile was wry. “Hope is always an expectation beyond anticipated reality, is it not?”
Put in that light, I had to agree with him. I nodded.
“You have learned what some never do. What you have not learned, but will, is that you will always bear the costs of what led you to become an imager, one way or another.”
I had the feeling that he might be right.
“Next Vendrei, at the noon meal, Master Poincaryt will include your name among those imagers being promoted from primus to secondus.” He smiled, but the smile vanished almost immediately. “Now that we have taken care of those issues . . . define a philosophical proposition for me, by its structure.”
I had to think about what I had read, but some of the dread I had carried for weeks had lifted. Some of it.
24
Those who believe consider themselves blessed; that is
their consolation and their burden.
The first Solayi in Avryl, the first of the month and the last day I was actually restricted to Imagisle, Mother came to visit me. The afternoon was partly cloudy, but the morning had been sunny, and the air was pleasant. Her coach crossed the Bridge of Hopes right at the first bell of the second glass of the afternoon. I was waiting just off the bridge on the isle side, because that was where the Manual stated visitors should be met.
Charlsyn eased the coach into the waiting area, but he avoided looking directly at me as I stepped forward and opened the door.
Mother stepped out, and I offered her a hand, because there was no mounting block, although the gray granite curbing was somewhat raised above the paving stones. She wore a long black skirt and boots, with a short maroon jacket over a cream blouse, with a pale green scarf and maroon beret-style hat. In her own way, she made it all look good together.
“You’re looking well, Rhenn.” Her smile was practiced as she inspected me, and wider after she saw no obvious faults in my dress and deportment. “The gray does suit you, although it is a bit severe. The cloth of the waistcoat and trousers looks to be choice wool.”
“I hadn’t noticed, not exactly.”
“Well . . . your father will be pleased to know that. It’s a good grade for imagers, very fine, but not ostentatious.”
“Master Dichartyn will be pleased to hear that.” As soon as I spoke, I wished I hadn’t said it that way, and I quickly added, “He feels imagers should never be arrogant or ostentatious.”
“You should listen to him. No one should be.” She smiled, and a twinkle appeared in her eyes. “I’ve even suggested that to your father once or twice, but don’t tell him that I told you so.”
“I wouldn’t think of it.” I couldn’t help but enjoy the thought of her suggesting that he was arrogant.
We strolled down the walkway to one of the stone benches. Mother produced a small towel from somewhere and dusted it off. “It never hurts to be prepared.”
“You’re prepared for everything,” I said with a smile.
“One can never prepare for everything, but when one prepares for what one can, it’s much easier to deal with the unexpected.”
“There’s some truth in that,” I conceded.
“So nice of you to admit that, dear.”
I winced. “I’m sorry.”
She straightened herself on the bench. “Rousel and Remaya will be arriving on Jeudi. Will you be able to come for dinner on Samedi, or will they need to come to see you here?”
“I’ll be able to come on Samedi. This is my last weekend to be restricted to Imagisle.”
“Good. I’ll send Charlsyn with the coach. What time would be good?”
I didn’t want to spend too long with Rousel and Remaya-or Father-but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful. “I’ve always been free by the third glass of the afternoon.”
“Should he meet you here?”
“I could meet him on the other side of the bridge. That way he wouldn’t have to cross and turn the coach.”
“That’s settled, then. It will be so good to have everyone home. You know that Remaya’s expecting in late Juyn?”
“I knew it was sometime this summer.”
“She is a lovely person.”
That meant that Remaya was far superior to her Pharsi background. “I knew that from the beginning.”
“That may be, dear, but she’s far better suited to Rousel. She enjoys talking about trade and wool, and she likes it as much as he does.”
Mother did have a point there.
“Oh . . . I forgot to tell you. I should have written you. We have your painting-the one you entered in the art competition. Master Reayalt had it sent to us. Would you like it?”
The guildmaster of the Portraiture Guild had sent my study of the chess game? But who else would have? “If you don’t mind . . . could you keep it until I’m a bit more . . . settled.”
“We’d love to. I know just where I’ll hang it until you’re ready for it.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“Tell me about being an imager . . . what you can, that is. I know that there must be matters you cannot discuss. What do you do?”
“Study and practice, mostly. I suspect I’m getting close to a university education in science, chemistry, and philosophy.”
“Don’t mention the philosophy to your father. He’ll like the rest. What else do you do?”
“There are exercises in imaging, and I’m examined almost every day, except Solayi, by my preceptor. That’s Master Dichartyn. In the afternoon, I might practice something in the laboratories or workrooms, or study. I’m just been advanced to imager secondus, and starting tomorrow, I’ll have to learn more of what imagers do, but I haven’t been assigned yet.”