That, in the long run, was what History was all about.
BUDGET
“Today I walked at least three kilometers, and was on my feet for over two hours. I’m beginning to feel that life is possible on Earth…. “But I must be careful not to overdo it, and I’m still using glide ways and transporters most of the time. This means that I’ve not visited the White
House or the Capitol, which can only be entered on foot. But I’ve been to the Museum of Technology and the National Gallery of Art. They have transport cubicles that you can program yourself, so there’s no need to waste time on exhibits that don’t interest you. Of course, I could stay in the hotel and take a holovision. tour anywhere, but that would be ridiculous. I could do that any time, back at home…. “I must remember that I’ll be replaying these words twenty, fifty, maybe a hundred years from now, when this visit to Earth is a dim memory. So it may be a good idea to describe a typical day-if there is such a thing!-here at the Centennial Hotel. “I wake up at six-thirty and
listen to the radio 130 news summary while I’m having my bath. Then I dial the Comsole for any messages that have arrived during the night-usually there are half a dozen.
Not many people know I’m here yet, but I’ve had quite a few offers of hospitality and have been asked to speak to a number of social and cultural groups. I suspect Ambassador Farrell is behind most of these.
“Then I set the news abstractor to print out any~-thing that’s happened in my area of interest, and scan the result. That doesn’t take long, since I give TITAN as the main heading, and we’re never in the news. If I want to know what’s happening at home, I call the Embassy and get the daily dispatch. Usually that makes me rather homesick, especially when my friends and family are being reported. Which is most days … “At seven-fifteen I go down to breakfast. As there are only a dozen guests-the place won’t get crowded until later in June-I have a table to myself. We nod politely at each other, but no one is very sociable at this time in the morning.
“The food and service are excellent, and I’m going to miss both when I get home. Terrans know how to live comfortably-they’ve had enough time to practice-but it was several days before I realized that the hotel was unusual, maybe unique. It’s been set up purely for the duration of the festivities, regardless of expense, just for us VIP guests. Staff has been brought from all over the world-some professional, some voluntary, like those academic clowns who met us when we arrived. (I still see them from time to time, and still can’t understand a word they say. Because I’m darker than they are,
I think they enjoy making a fool of me.)
“For breakfast-in fact, for all my meals-I try to have something new every day, and this has caused problems. I won’t forget my first eggs…. “I asked for them boiled-because that was the first listing-and the waiter said, “How many minutes, sir?” (I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being called ‘sir’ by people who are not trying to insult me.) Of course, I had no idea what to answer, so I said
“Medium rare,” which was a phrase I’d picked up at dinner the night before. The waiter looked at me rather oddly, I thought.
“He came back five minutes later with two eggs sitting in silver cups, and placed them in front of me. I just sat there looking at them; never having seen eggs before, I’d no idea what to do next. And incidentally, they were larger than I’d imagined.
“I’m afraid I might have gone hungry if another guest a couple of tables away hadn’t ordered the same thing. I watched him carefully, and discovered that you start by cutting off the top of the shell with a knife. I made a horrible mess of the first egg, but got it right the second time. Later, I found that they’ll do this in the kitchen, which saves a lot of trouble.
I’ll never ask for eggs this way again, but I’m glad I did it once.
“The taste-though not the texture-was perfectly normal. Our chemists have done a good job here, and I’d never have known that it wasn’t synthetic.
I’ve since discovered that very few Terrans have ever tasted a real egg, and there are only two or three farms that still produce them. Hens are not very interesting animals it appears.
“I should have mentioned the Menu-it’s a most elaborate affair, beautifully printed, and changes every day. I’m keeping a set as a souvenir, though I don’t recognize half the items-or understand many of the instructions. I suspect that some are jokes. What does “No Tipping’ mean? And “Gentlemen are requested to use the cuspidors provided’? What is a cuspidor? And why only gentlemen and not ladies? I must ask George.
“After breakfast I go back to my room and deal with the overnight messages.
Usually I spend the next two or three hours at the Comsole, talking to people, recording data, transferring items from the main memory to my
Minisec, or vice versa.
“Most of this is dull but important; I’m working through a list of contacts that every head of department on Titan has given me. I’m trying to be as tactful as possible, but I’m afraid I’m not going to
be very popular by the time I’ve delivered all these complaints and apologies.
“And I’ve run into something that complicates business on Earth to an incredible extent. I knew about it, but hadn’t realized its full implications. It’s the problem of Time Zones…. “There are some advantages in belonging to a corridor culture. We’re not slaves of the sun, and can set all our clocks to the same time, all, over
Titan. But on Earth!
“There are four time zones-America, Africa, Asia, Oceania-six hours apart.
So when you want to speak to anyone, or make an appointment, you have to know what zone he’s in. And when you move from one zone to another, you have to put your watch ahead—or back-six hours.
“It’s very awkward and confusing, but it was even worse a couple of centuries ago; then there were twenty-four zones, one for every hour of the day! The development of global telecommunications made that situation impossible-not that it’s very satisfactory even now. There’s talk of going over to a single World Time-probably Absolute Ephemeris Time-and igignoring the day-night cycle, just as we do. But the arguments on both sides are nicely balanced, and no one expects a decision in a hurry. After all, it took several hundred years to get the World Calendar adopted, and that was because the Martian and Lunar administrations simply wouldn’t put up with
Earth’s ridiculous months any longer…. “Where was I? Oh, the morning’s business. By noon, I usually feel that I need a break, and I spend half an hour in the swimming pool. At first I did this merely to get away from gravity, but now I enjoy it for its own sake.
I’ve even learned to swim, and feel quite confident in the water. When I get home, IT be a regular visitor to the Oasis pool.
“After that, I go for a quick walk in the hotel grounds. There are more flowers and trees here than I ever imagined, all beautifully kept. It reminds me a little of George’s farm, though on a smaller scale.
But Earth is a dangerous place, and there are things I’d not been warned about. Who would have guessed that there were plants with thorns on them-sharp enough to draw blood? I’m going to make very sure they never take me to any really wild places on this complicated old planet.
“And even here in Washington, not everything is under control. Yesterday, just as I was going for a walk, it started to rain. Rain! In no time, the streets were wet and glistening; they looked so slippery I should have been afraid to walk on them, but from my window I could see people moving about as if nothing had happened. Some of them weren’t even wearing protective clothing…. “After watching for a while, I went down to the lobby and stood under the portico. I had to fight off the bellboys-they tried to get me a car, and couldn’t believe I merely wanted to watch the falling water from a safe place. Eventually I managed to make myself believe that it wasn’t liquid ammonia, and stepped outside for a few seconds, all in the cause of science. Needless to say, I got wet very quickly, and I can’t say I really enjoyed it.