since I could outplay all four of them I was treated like one of the guys." Sam
smiled fondly in remembrance. "We used to travel with the football team to all
the away games. We'd put on a show at halftime. There were only 30 of us but
we sounded pretty good. A lot of the schools didn't have their own band. That's
how I got to know Steve. He was a fellow drummer. We just sort of started
hanging out together my sophomore year, next thing I know everyone thinks
we're a couple. We both knew we weren't but it was easier...being able to fit in I
guess." Riley nodded in understanding, she knew all about trying to fit in. "So he was my 'boyfriend' all through high school. We did experiment some, kissing and
touching through our clothes but neither of us seemed to get much out of it. By
my senior year I was sick of hearing my friends brag about how great sex was
with their boyfriends. I don't know why but I got this idea in my head that it was
time to lose my virginity and find out what the big deal was about." Sam glanced
over at Riley who was listening avidly. She felt her ears and face go hot,
knowing this was going to be the hardest part to tell. Riley reached over and
rubbed her stomach comfortingly. Sam took a deep breath and continued. "Of
course Steve was the most likely candidate to do the deed. As far as everyone
knew we'd been a couple for almost 3 years. I waited 'til I knew his folks were
out of town. I went over to his house that night and umm...I umm... I
umm...seduced him, he was a virgin too." Sam finally managed to get out.
Riley's eyes widened in astonishment. She flashed on an image of a young
Sam, determined to lose her virginity showing up at the house of the boy she
wanted. Poor kid never had a chance, Riley chuckled to herself.
"So was it what you expected?" she asked.
"No, he lasted about 30 seconds and besides hurting like a bitch I didn't feel a
thing." Sam admitted sadly. "We did try it a few more time over the next few
months," Sam said sheepishly. "But I could just never figure out what the big
deal was. It wasn't very comfortable and never lasted very long. I did run into
Steve when I went back to my 10 year high school reunion."
"I guess that was pretty awkward huh?" Riley said sympathetically.
"No, actually I had a good laugh over it with him and his partner." Sam waited for what she'd said to sink in.
"What!" Riley exclaimed. "He's gay?"
Sam grinned at her. "Yup."
Riley shook her head in disbelief. "So the only guy you ever slept with turned out
to be gay."
Sam muttered something Riley didn't catch. Sam's eyes were locked on the
sheet again.
"Sam?"
"He's not the only guy I slept with." Sam muttered a little louder. She glanced
over at Riley to see her eyebrow raised in question. Sam sighed knowing she
might as well tell her the rest.
"I went to college after high school. Jess was starting medical school and I was
hot to see the world outside our little town. They had a women's baseball team
at the college. I tried out and made the team. That's where I met Charlie." Riley
looked a little confused. "Charlie was the star pitcher of the men's team." Sam
explained. "The two teams shared a practice field. We started dating and I
decided maybe things hadn't worked out with Steve because we were both
inexperienced. So I slept with Charlie. I knew right away I'd made a mistake. I
thought maybe I was, I don't know one of those people without much of a sex
drive." Riley looked at Sam incredulously. Sam laughed. "Yeah...I know I was
clueless, but that was about to change. My second year back at school I got a
new roommate, I knew something was different from the moment we met. I'd
never had a woman look at me like she did. Charlene was a senior, how she
ended up rooming with a sophomore I'll never know. But I'm sure thankful she
did. I was shocked the first time she flirted with me. Not about her flirting but the
fact of how much I liked it. The first time we kissed I realized just what the
problem was with the guys I'd been with. Jess had come out to the family while I
was still in high school. So the thought of two women together wasn't foreign to
me. I was more excited just kissing and touching Charlene through her clothes
than I had been having sex with a guy. The first time we had sex...well let's just
say it was an incredible revelation." Sam chuckled. "Charlene taught me a lot
about all the different ways two women could make love and I'll always be
grateful to her for that."
Riley shifted suddenly uncomfortable. She was jealous of the woman who had
been Sam's first. "So do you still keep in touch with her?" Riley inquired praying the whole time she'd say no.
Sam's brow furrowed at Riley's tone of voice. "I used to but I haven't seen her in
over 5 years. Her wife got a great job offer and they moved to the east coast."
Riley felt her face flush. She was embarrassed to be so relieved that the woman
wasn't a part of Sam's life any more. 'How long were you together?" She couldn't
resist asking.
"We were roommates and lovers her senior year. We had a lot of good times
together..." Sam tilted up Riley's face making eye contact. "But I was never in
love with her."
Riley smiled brilliantly more than happy with that answer.
"After that I never went back, Steve and Charlie were the only guys I ever slept
with."
"And since then...?" Riley asked nervously. She knew from the way all the
women acted at the baseball game and later in the bar that Sam was very
popular with the ladies. She wondered how she would ever be able to compete
with them and just how long she could hold Sam's interest.
Sam noticed the nervous look on Riley's face. She knew this moment would
eventually come and she'd dreaded it. She pulled Riley back into her lap and
hugged her. She could feel her trembling slightly.
"I won't lie to you Riley. I've dated a lot of women and slept with quite a few of
them."
Riley couldn't help fearing she was going to be just one of the many women
Sam had slept with. Would this be it, now that Sam had gotten what she
wanted? She couldn't believe that of the caring woman who was holding her so
tight but her fears got the better of her. Tears started to leak down her cheeks.
"Hey, what's this?" Sam asked concerned.
Riley shook her head. "Nothing, I understand." Riley told her pulling slightly
away from Sam.
Sam went back over the last few minutes of their conversation trying to figure
out what had upset Riley. It finally dawned on her just what the problem was.
After hearing how horribly Riley had been treated by the only woman she'd ever
been involved with Sam berated herself for not realizing how Riley might react
and what she'd assume.
"Riley..." she called softly. Riley refused to look up and tried to move off Sam's lap. Sam tightened her embrace and put her fingers under Riley's chin pressing
until she looked up. Sam's heart clenched at the hurt expression on Riley's face
and the pain in her eyes.
"I have been with a lot of women... but." She added quickly. "I've never been in love with any of them....'til now. You're the first woman I've ever loved." She told
her staring deeply into her eyes, willing her to see the truth.
Sam herself was surprised, she thought she'd be petrified admitting her love to