day as it came.
"I can't say I wouldn't feel the same if I'd seen what you did. But, let me ask you
this. Can you really envision your life without Sam in it, for however much time
you get? None of us knows what tomorrow may bring. Can you really just walk
away?" Kim questioned.
Riley began to cry again. "That's the worse part. It's already too late. I can't
imagine going back to the existence I led before I met Sam. That's all I was
doing existing. I love her so much... why does she have to be a cop?" Riley cried
in anguish.
Kim tightened her arms around Riley, trying to console her. "It's who she is...you
knew that all along, even if you didn't want to admit it to yourself. It's part of what
attracts you to Sam and makes her the woman you love."
They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Sam had stayed away as
long as she could. She had to see Riley.
"Riley, I'm sorry Baby. I was going to tell you... I swear. Please come out." Sam pleaded through the door. Kim stepped away from Riley and moved toward the
door. She stopped with her hand on the knob waiting Riley's permission. Riley
nodded her head slightly. Kim opened the door and stepped out. Sam pushed
past her and rushed into the bathroom. Riley fell into her arms crying. Sam
wrapped Riley in a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared how you'd react. It'll be okay, I
promise. I always wear my vest and I'm very careful. Most officers spend their
whole careers on the force having never been shot. I've got mine out of the way
now." She said trying to lighten the mood.
"When are you going back?"
Sam swallowed heavily before answering. "Tomorrow. I'll be on desk duty for
about a week while I do some re-qualification. Then after that I'll take up my
normal schedule."
Riley clutched Sam tightly as her panic surged. Sam's biggest concern was
Riley's fear would drive her away. She tipped up Riley's face meeting her panic-
stricken eyes. She gave voice to her greatest fear.
"Please don't leave me."
Riley's heart clenched at the naked fear in Sam's eyes. Here was a woman
who'd stood facing down a man holding a gun with calm confidence yet Sam's
fear was plain to see at the thought of Riley leaving her.
"I'm not going anywhere Sam. I love you. You just have to give me some time to
adjust. I'm terrified of you going back to work."
Sam pulled Riley off her feet, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her
tightly. Nothing mattered beyond the, I love you. Everything else they'd work out.
"Sam... Sam," Riley gasped in Sam's tight embrace. "You're crushing me
Honey."
Sam blushed, quickly setting Riley back on her feet. She leaned down to brush a
gentle kiss across Riley's lips. "So we're OK?"
Riley snuggled against Sam's chest. "Yes, we're OK, but..." She poked Sam in
the ribs sharply. Sam yelped staring down at Riley in surprise. "Don't ever keep
something that important from me again."
"I won't, I promise." Sam offered contritely.
Kim and Jess were curled up together on the couch when the two women
reappeared. Kim had filled Jess in on what had transpired in the bathroom. Jess
still couldn't believe her sister had admitted to Riley she was in love with her.
Jess prayed the two women could work things out. Sam's arm was wrapped
around Riley's shoulders holding her tight. She took that as a good sign.
"Everything alright?" Jess asked.
Sam looked down at Riley her eyes filled with love. "Yeah, everything is going to
be just fine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam sat outside the station house. It was her first day back at work. She was
excited and happy to be returning to work but just couldn't get the image of Riley
standing at the door of her condo out of her mind. She'd spent the night at
Riley's. When they'd gotten up that morning, she knew Riley was upset and
scared about her going back to work but Riley had done her best to put up a
good front. That lasted until Sam was ready to leave. As they stood at the front
door, Riley had wrapped her arms tightly around Sam and her tears had started
to flow. That was the image Sam couldn't seem to shake; of Riley, standing in
the doorway with tears running down her face as she walked away. She didn't
know what to do to ease Riley's mind. After leaving Riley's condo, she'd headed
home to change into her uniform. Shaking her head and sighing in frustration,
she headed into the station. Her hand went to her empty holster. She felt strange
without her weapon.
"Hey Sam. Welcome back!" Greeted the desk sergeant. "I've got you set up later this morning to re-qualify at the range; your weapon is in the armory."
"Thanks Sarge."
Several other people in the waiting area called greetings to Sam. Sam grinned
waving to people as she headed for the morning briefing. Yep it's great to be
back!
She noticed Brad Davidson standing outside the briefing room.
"Hey Davidson."
"Hi McKenna, welcome back." He said, enthusiastically shaking her hand.
"Thanks again for the statement you submitted to Internal Affairs. I really
appreciated the recommendation to keep me on the force."
"I didn't say anything that wasn't true. You're a good cop and it was a clean
shoot. How're you doing?"
"I've been seeing the department psychologist and it really seems to be helping.
I wasn't sure for a while if I'd stay. I'm sure now I made the right choice." He told
her smiling.
"I'd gladly ride with you anytime." She assured him. "Come on I don't want to be late my first day back." She said laughing as she slapped him on the back and
pushed him toward the door.
As soon as Sam entered the room, she was met by boisterous catcalls and
shouted greetings. She swaggered over to her seat and took a bow before
sitting down.
The sergeant called the briefing to order. "All right people let's settle down and
get this over with." He yelled banging on the podium. "Nice of you to join us
McKenna." He added with a grin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riley was on her way back to Sam's apartment. It was Friday night and she'd
just attended her first P.O.P. (Partners of Police Officers) meeting. It was a small
group of women, all lesbians, who met once a month to support women who
were involved with law enforcement officers. It had started out as a group for
women involved with police officers hence the name but had expanded over
time to include women who were involved with members of all branches of law
enforcement. Talking to other women in the same situation had been eye
opening.
The past month had been very hard on Riley and at the same time wonderful.
She'd never been happier but she was still terrified every time Sam walked out
the door to go to work. It was a constant source of tension. They usually stayed
at Sam's apartment during the week and her condo on the weekends. The time
they spent together was fantastic and she couldn't imagine her life without Sam.
Except for the nights she had in-house call they had spent every night together
since Sam had come to her condo after her confrontation with her uncle.
She realized now after talking to the other women what a strain she'd been
placing on Sam. Kim had tried to talk to her one weekend when she and Jess