“Well,” says the gentleman, “This beats me, for I never saw anyone coming back alive out of there before, nor the cows with a drop of milk. Did you see anything in the orchard?” says he. “Nothing worse nor myself,” says Billy. “What about my wages, now,” says Billy. “Well,” says the gentleman, “you’ll hardly come alive out of the orchard the morrow. So we’ll wait till after that.” Next morning his master told Billy that something must have happened one of the giants, for he used to hear the cries of three every night, but last night he only heard two crying. “I don’t know,” says Billy, “anything about them.” That morning after he got his breakfast Billy drove the three goats, three cows, three horses, and three asses into the orchard again, and began to feed them. About twelve o’clock he heard three terrible roars that shook the apples off the bushes, the horns on the cows, and made the hair stand up on Billy’s head, and in comes a frightful big giant, with six heads, and he told Billy he had killed his brother yesterday, but he would make him pay for it the day. “Ye’re too big,” says he, “for one bite, and too small for two, and what will I do with you?” “I’ll fight you,” says Billy, swinging his stick three times over his head, and turning it into a sword, and giving him the strength of a thousand men besides his own. The giant laughed at him, and says he, “How will I kill you—with a swing by the back, a cut of the sword, or a square round of boxing?” “With a swing by the back,” says Billy, “if you can.” So the both of them laid holds, and Billy lifted the giant clean off the ground, and fetching him down again, sunk him in it up to the arm-pits. “Oh, spare my life!” says the giant. But Billy taking up his sword, killed him and cut out his tongues. It was evening by this time, and Billy drove home his three goats, three cows, three horses, and three asses, and what milk the cows gave that night overflowed all the vessels in the house, and, running out, turned a rusty mill that hadn’t been turned before for thirty years. If the master was surprised seeing Billy coming back the night before, he was ten times more surprised now.
“Did you see anything in the orchard the day!” says the gentleman. “Nothing worse nor myself,” says Billy. “What about my wages now,” says Billy. “Well, never mind about your wages,” says the gentleman till the morrow, for I think you’ll hardly come back alive again,“ says he. Well and good, Billy went to his bed, and the gentleman went to his bed, and when the gentleman rose in the morning says he to Billy, ”I don’t know what’s wrong with two of the giants; I only heard one crying last night.“ ”I don’t know,“ says Billy, ”they must be sick or something.“ Well, when Billy got his breakfast that day again, he set out to the orchard, driving before him the three goats, three cows, three horses and three asses and sure enough about the middle of the day he hears three terrible roars again, and in comes another giant, this one with twelve heads on him, and if the other two were frightful, surely this one was ten times more so. ”You villain, you,“ says he to Billy, ”you killed my two brothers, and I’ll have my revenge on you now. Prepare till I kill you,“ says he; ”you’re too big for one bite, and too small for two; what will I do with you?“ ”I’ll fight you,“ says Billy, shaping out and winding the bit of stick three times over his head. The giant laughed heartily at the size of him, and says he, ”What way do you prefer being killed? Is it with a swing by the back, a cut of the sword, or a square round of boxing?“ ”A swing by the back,“ says Billy. So both of them again laid holds, and my brave Billy lifts the giant clean off the ground, and fetching him down again, sunk him down to his arm-pits in it. ”Oh, have mercy; spare my life,“ says the giant. But Billy took his sword, and, killing him, cut out his tongues. That evening he drove home his three goats, three cows, three horses, and three asses, and the milk of the cows had to be turned into a valley where it made a lough three miles long, three miles broad, and three miles deep, and that lough has been filled with salmon and white trout ever since. The gentleman wondered now more than ever to see Billy back the third day alive. ”Did you see nothing in the orchard the day, Billy?“ says he. ”No, nothing worse nor myself,“ says Billy. ”Well that beats me,“ says the gentleman. ”What about my wages now?“ says Billy. ”Well, you’re a good mindful boy, that I couldn’t easy do without,“ says the gentleman, ”and I’ll give you any wages you ask for the future.“ The next morning, says the gentleman to Billy, ”I heard none of the giants crying last night, however it comes. I don’t know what has happened to them?“ ”I don’t know,“ says Billy, ”they must be sick or something.“ ”Now, Billy,“ says the gentleman, ”you must look after the cattle the day again, while I go to see the fight.“ ”What fight?“ says Billy. ”Why,“ says the gentleman, ”it’s the king’s daughter is going to be devoured by a fiery dragon, if the greatest fighter in the land, that they have been feeding specially for the last three months, isn’t able to kill the dragon first. And if he’s able to kill the dragon the king is to give him the daughter in marriage.“ ”That will be fine,“ says Billy. Billy drove out his three goats, three cows, three horses, and three asses to the orchard that day again, and the like of all that passed that day to see the fight with the man and the fiery dragon, Billy never witnessed before. They went in coaches and carriages, on horses and jackasses, riding and walking, crawling and creeping. ”My tight little fellow,“ says a man that was passing to Billy, ”why don’t you come to see the great fight?“ ”What would take the likes of me there?“ says Billy. But when Billy found them all gone he saddled and bridled the best black horse his master had, and put on the best suit of clothes he could get in his master’s house, and rode off to the fight after the rest. When Billy went there he saw the king’s daughter with the whole court about her on a platform before the castle, and he thought he never saw anything half as beautiful, and the great warrior that was to fight the dragon was walking up and down on the lawn before her, with three men carrying his sword, and every one in the whole country gathered there looking at him. But when the fiery dragon came up with twelve heads on him, and every mouth of him spitting fire, and let twelve roars out of him, the warrior ran away and hid himself up to the neck in a well of water, and all they could do they couldn’t get him to come and face the dragon. Then the king’s daughter asked if there was no one there to save her from the dragon, and get her in marriage. But not one stirred. When Billy saw this, he tied the belt of the bull’s hide round him, swung his stick over his head, and went in, and after a terrible fight entirely, killed the dragon. Every one then gathered about to find who the stranger was. Billy jumped on his horse and darted away sooner than let them know; but just as he was getting away the king’s daughter pulled the shoe off his foot. When the dragon was killed the warrior that had hid in the well of water came out, and cutting the heads off the dragon he brought them to the king, and said that it was he who killed the dragon, in disguise; and he claimed the king’s daughter. But she tried the shoe on him and found it didn’t fit him; so she said it wasn’t him, and that she would marry no one only the man the shoe fitted. When Billy got home he changed the clothes again, and had the horse in the stable, and the cattle all in before his master came. When the master came, he began telling Billy about the wonderful day they had entirely, and about the warrior hiding in the well of water, and about the grand stranger that came down out of the sky in a cloud on a black horse, and killed the fiery dragon, and then vanished in a cloud again. ”And, now,“ says he, ”Billy, wasn’t that wonderful?“ ”It was, indeed,“ says Billy, ”very wonderful entirely.“ After that it was given out over the country that all the people were to come to the king’s castle on a certain day, till the king’s daughter would try the shoe on them, and whoever it fitted she was to marry them. When the day arrived Billy was in the orchard with the three goats, three cows, three horses, and three asses, as usual, and the like of all the crowds that passed that day going to the king’s castle to get the shoe tried on, he never saw before. They went in coaches and carriages, on horses and jackasses, riding and walking, and crawling and creeping. They all asked Billy was not he going to the king’s castle, but Billy said, ”Arrah, what would be bringin’ the likes of me there?“ At last when all the others had gone there passed an old man with a very scarecrow suit of rags on him, and Billy stopped him and asked him what boot would he take and swap clothes with him. ”Just take care of yourself, now,“ says the old man, ”and don’t be playing off your jokes on my clothes, or maybe I’d make you feel the weight of this stick.“ But Billy soon let him see it was in earnest he was, and both of them swapped suits, Billy giving the old man boot. Then off to the castle started Billy, with the suit of rags on his back and an old stick in his hand, and when he come there he found all in great commotion trying on the shoe, and some of them cutting down their foot, trying to get it to fit. But it was all of no use, the shoe could be got to fit none of them at all, and the king’s daughter was going to give up in despair when the wee ragged looking boy, which was Billy, elbowed his way through them, and says he, ”Let me try it on; maybe it would fit me.“ But the people when they saw him, all began to laugh at the sight of him, and ”Go along out of that, you example you,“ says they shoving and pushing him back. But the king’s daughter saw him, and called on them by all manner of means to let him come up and try on the shoe. So Billy went up, and all the people looked on, breaking their hearts laughing at the conceit of it. But what would you have of it, but to the dumfounding of them all, the shoe fitted Billy as nice as if it was made on his foot for a last. So the king’s daughter claimed Billy as her husband. He then confessed that it was he that killed the fiery dragon; and when the king had him dressed up in a silk and satin suit, with plenty of gold and silver ornaments everyone gave in that his like they never saw afore. He was then married to the king’s daughter, and the wedding lasted nine days, nine hours, nine minutes, nine half minutes and nine quarter minutes, and they lived happy and well from that day to this. I got brogues of
brochan and breeches of glass, a bit of pie for telling a lie, and then I came slithering home.