No! No, he wouldn't-couldn't-let that happen. He'd find a way to make her understand. But, just to be on the safe side, best not to mention it until Bob had all the arrangements in place, the contracts signed, and all systems were go. No point telling her about it now in case the plans somehow fell through. Better to wait, until everything was set in stone. Then he'd tell her.
Hell, he'd even invite her to come along! He could see them now, strolling the streets of Monaco, sailing together, her sitting in the arena, watching him trounce Handly.
Yes, indeed, that was a very good plan.
She won't understand, his inner voice interjected, souring his rosy fantasy. You're going to end up like the fiancé-dumped on your ass as if a bronc bucked you.
Raking his hands through his still damp hair, he ruthlessly squashed the voice. She would understand.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard, Ha!
He managed, with a great deal of effort, to ignore it.
Chapter 10
With the midmorning sun warming her back and the calm, clear turquoise water glistening with bright shafts of sunlight, Lexie stood on the resort dock, waiting for her next group of snorkelers to arrive. After double-checking that the gear was all ready, she sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled in what could only be described as a contented sigh.
The three days since she'd burned Josh his chocolate-chip cookies had whizzed by in a blur of happiness. Thanks to the exceptional weather, she and Josh continued their lessons by sailing the resort's sixteen-foot sailboat each morning for an hour before her shift began. He was learning fast, which didn't surprise her one bit. She could easily see him excelling at anything he set his mind to.
During the day, while she worked, Josh spent his time swimming and driving around to look at sailboats and sailing schools. She occasionally saw him in the afternoons, at the pool or on the beach, sometimes alone, sometimes chatting with other guests or entertaining a child. Several times she noted him challenging other pool swimmers to a race. He might not ride in the rodeo any longer, but his competitive spirit was clearly still alive and kicking. When he saw her he'd wave and wink, or blow her a kiss as she led a group snorkeling or to the dock for a scuba excursion. She'd wave back, knowing that in a matter of only a few hours, she'd be with him again.
They'd spent each evening together, once going out for dinner, twice cooking at her house. He taught her the finer points of "cowboy cuisine," such as to how to grill a steak and ribs, and she taught him how to burn toast and scorch pizza. He taught her how to make s'mores on the grill, and she taught him some really interesting uses for melted chocolate.
Josh bought her a beautiful cowboy hat, which she felt sort of odd wearing until she realized how much it turned him on-especially when she wore it and nothing else. Last night, after dinner, he'd taken her to the movies, but when he'd offered to see a chick flick no less, her eyes had narrowed with suspicion.
"Okay, what's wrong with you?" she'd asked.
"Nothing," he'd said, his face a mask of innocence.
She'd remained unconvinced-he couldn't be that perfect-and was soon proved right when she realized that it wouldn't have mattered what movie he'd taken her to since they sat in the last row and Josh wouldn't keep his hands or his lips to himself. She missed most of the show-not that she was complaining…
And the nights… magical, passionate nights spent in Josh's arms. Endless hours indulging in sensual exploration, learning, touching, talking, laughing.
A long sigh escaped her. She'd never, not even with Tony, felt like this. Had never imagined she could feel like this. She loved being with Josh. Loved seeing him smile and hearing him laugh. Loved watching his eyes twinkle with mischief, then darken with arousal. Loved seeing him interact with the fans-especially the children-who invariably found him at either the resort or the several restaurants they'd ventured out to. In fact, she loved everything about him.
She loved him.
The realization slammed into her like diving into the water and landing with a belly flop. This wasn't just physical attraction or infatuation. She was in love with Josh.
She stood on the dock, staring at the water, and rubbed her hand over the spot where her heart beat hard and fast.
Surely the realization should panic her. At the very least, distress and worry her, but instead only exhilaration rushed though her.
She shook her head. She must be losing her mind. She should not be happy about this. She was not supposed to fall in love with a fling, with her transition man. All the reasons they were wrong for each other flashed in her mind. He was temporary. A daredevil. Lived thousands of miles away.
But her heart bulldozed the reasons aside, visualizing the house she wanted to build on the peaceful cove she coveted-and right smack in the middle of her house stood Josh, smiling, arms open, waiting for her. She wanted him there, in her house, with her, sharing her life.
Closing her eyes, the words I love Josh washed over her like a warm rain. She loved him. Completely.
But what do to about it? They hadn't discussed the future, or the fact that he was scheduled to leave the resort in less than two weeks. It seemed that by some unspoken mutual agreement, they'd avoided the subject, but his rapidly approaching departure sat between them like a scowling Victorian chaperone.
Their time together was slipping away, yet how could she allow their relationship to simply end in a matter of days? She couldn't. But it wasn't just a matter of what she wanted. What did Josh want? Did he care for her as she cared for him? There was no doubt he enjoyed her physically-did his feelings run deeper than that? That night at the Blue Flamingo he'd hinted as much, but he hadn't broached the subject again.
Well, there was only one way to find out. Ask him. Ask how he felt. Ask if he wanted to try to figure out a way to make this work. Because the thought of him just leaving, of this being over, simply did not compute.
Perhaps this very subject was what he wanted to discuss with her? He'd left the resort at 10:00 a.m. to drive to Miami to meet with his business manager and several corporate sponsors. She'd walked him to his car and before driving off, he'd said, "Let's have dinner at your place tonight so we can talk."
Well, she was ready to talk. Ready to lay her cards on the table and tell him how she felt. Ready to hear him say he felt the same way. Ready to figure out a way for them to be together. Ready to work out a compromise so that could happen.
She could only pray he was ready to do the same.
Josh stood on Lexie's porch and took a deep, calming breath. Damn, he felt as nervous as a mouse wearing catnip perfume. Settle down. Everything's going to be fine.
But his mental pep talk did nothing to soothe his jangled nerves. Everything he wanted was inside this cozy house. And he was determined to have it. He just hoped the lady would agree.
If he'd been capable of laughter, he would have chuckled at himself. Even when facing the most ornery of bulls, he'd never felt this unsure or frightened. Well, he'd faced those bulls down. How much trouble could one small woman be?
Setting his jaw, he knocked. Seconds later Lexie opened the door, wearing a sultry smile.
And nothing else.
He actually felt his eyes bug out of his head. Good damn thing his jaw was attached to his head or else it would have hit the ground.