“I got it. Let me help you get in, shorty.”
Before I can climb in without his help, his hands are around my waist, lifting me effortlessly into the passenger seat. “I could have handled it.”
“You could have.”
“But?”
“But, I’m not about to pass up a reason to touch you,” he says, as he shuts my door, and walks around the front of the truck with a satisfied smirk on his face.
It’s adorable—he’s adorable. No, who am I kidding? He’s hot, and for reasons I’ll never understand, he’s interested in me.
“You can put whatever you want on the radio.”
“I’m okay with this. I like country music.” Plus, I have no idea how to work all the buttons on the radio. I drive an older car that doesn’t have satellite radio or a built in navigation system.
“Country music and sports. You’re two for two.”
“Does that mean I’m a keeper?”
“Definitely,” he says, in complete seriousness—all the playfulness from before now gone from his voice.
I pull my hair out of the ponytail I wear it in for work, and Rhett glances at me out of the corner of his eye, as I’m massaging my scalp.
“Headache?”
“A little. I think I’m mostly tired. I worked a double last night.”
“I give you credit. I worked over the summer, before football started. I don’t know how you go to school all day and then work all night.”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“And that’s why driving this truck sucks.”
“What do you mean?”
“My parents want me to have it, and my grandparents have this insane desire to spoil me.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I sound so ungrateful, but I don’t need this thing. I’d rather someone have it that needs it, but they don’t see it that way. They want me to have everything, which I appreciate, but it makes it harder to blend in when they’re waving their money around.”
“I get what you’re saying, but they’re your family.”
“I’m sorry. Here I am pissed off at my family.”
I cut him off before he can say anything else. “And I don’t have one.”
He nods his head. “Yeah, dick move number two. I told you there’d be many.”
“It’s fine, really. I’ve had a lot of time to try to make sense of it. I hate to tell you though, you couldn’t blend in if you tried. Three quarters of this town comes out to see you play every Friday night. You’re even on the news.”
“That I can’t help.”
“Just like I can’t help my situation, either. We are who we are whether we like it or not.”
“You’re saying I’m supposed to look the part? Be who everyone else expects me to be, or thinks I already am?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. Can I ask why it even matters to you? Any other guy on the team would kill to be in your position—to have all that attention. All those girls begging to be his.”
“First off, only one girl matters to me.” He glances at me. “Secondly, it matters because I want a real shot with you, and I don’t want rumors or expectations to screw up your opinion of me before you have a chance to get to know me. I guess I want you to see me, and not a position on the football field like everyone else.”
He’s right, I’ve had an opinion of him for years. Now that I think about it, I could be totally wrong about the guy I always assumed he was. I don’t think I am though. I see beyond the bullshit.
“Rhett, people judge me every single day of my life because of decisions my father made. I know the rumors floating around, I’ve heard them all. Yet here you are, talking to me despite that. If anyone gets it, I do.”
I remember the first day back to school after dad left. Word around town traveled quickly, and I lashed out at Kate because I was equally ashamed and angry. All that did was secure me a trip to a counselor before she lost me entirely. At the time, I hated her for it, especially when everyone in school called me crazy for seeing a shrink, but looking back on it, it was a blessing in disguise. Had my sister not read the warning signs as well as she did, I could very well be a high school dropout doing god knows what with god knows who.
“I don’t care what other people think about us, Kinsley. I only care what you think of me—and how you make me feel.”
My voice wavers the slightest bit when I ask, “How do I make you feel?”
“Alive,” he says, simply.
“Well that’s better than dead.”
His shoulders shake and he reaches over to squeeze my leg just above the knee. “I like when you’re a smartass, too. What I mean is, you don’t have expectations. You don’t assume anything—it’s refreshing.”
“Well, I do have one expectation.”
He smiles, “I knew it was too good to be true. Lay it on me.”
“I can’t yet.”
“When can you?” he asks, curiously.
“Soon—maybe.”
“Adding a little mystery to the mix, I like it. I actually have one for you, too.”
I fidget in my seat, not sure if I’m ready to hear what Rhett expects of me or from me. This is another area where we’re worlds apart.
“Don’t look so nervous.”
“I am,” I whisper.
“Kinsley, it’s not like that. Look at me.”
I turn my head, expecting to be laughed at, but he’s not even smiling. “What?”
“For starters, that’s not what we’re about. I’m not looking for a random hook up. Secondly, I was trying to ask you to Fall Fest.”
“The music festival? That’s your expectation?”
“The one and only.”
The eighteen-year-old inside of me wants to jump up and down, but I’ve had to grow up a lot faster than most kids my age. Automatically, my mind focuses on the cost. With having to pay Betty back, I don’t know when I’ll be able to save enough money to go to Fall Fest. I do know it won’t be in time for this year’s festival. That’s for sure.
At the next red light, Rhett looks puzzled when I don’t immediately respond one way or the other. “You said you like country music, right?”
“I do, but I don’t think I’ll be able to go.”
“Why not?”
I feel like such a loser. Moments like these make the anger I’ve tried so hard to get rid of bubble to the surface. I shouldn’t have to worry about money or making it on my own. I should be living it up this last year of high school. “I just can’t. I’m sorry, Rhett.”
“Kinsley, please tell me why. If it’s me, if you’re not interested, I can handle it.”
As soon as he says something as ridiculous as that, I realize I have to tell him the truth. I can’t let him think I don’t like him, or that I don’t want to spend time with him—because I want that more than anything. So, I swallow my pride before I hurt his feelings any more than I already have.
“I can’t afford the ticket.” There, I said it. Now that I have, I’m ashamed. If I could, I’d open my truck door, and walk the rest of the way home, just to spare myself the humiliation.
Sensing my discomfort, Rhett reaches over and grabs my hand. His thumb rubs tiny circles back and forth over my skin. I can hardly breathe with him touching me, but I don’t want him to stop, either.
“I’m taking you this year, Kinsley. We stay in tents on the festival grounds, so other than the ticket and food, there’s really no other costs. It’s a little on the hick side if you aren’t into camping, and it’s a little miserable if it rains, but still crazy fun.”
“Rhett.”
“I’m not above begging, Kinsley. The guys always take their girls. I’ll be the odd man out without you.”
His hand leaves mine as he turns to pull into my driveway, but he grabs it again as soon as the truck is in park. “Which one’s yours?”
“Top right,” I tell him. “Number 422.”
“It’s nice.”
“Pfft, no it’s not.”
“Don’t make it less than it is. You think people talk about you, and maybe they do, but not everyone disrespects you. I respect how hard you work. I’d never survive all you’ve been though. You’re brave.”
“You think I’m brave? Rhett, I’m scared shitless every morning I wake up. I worry how I’m going to keep my car running. How I’m going to manage school and work again—if it’s all for nothing because I won’t be able to afford New York once I get there anyway. That’s if they even accept me. But then I remember, it could always be worse. Some kids at school have it so much worse than I do, and that’s what keeps me going.”