Holding onto her waist from behind, so she doesn’t fall, I let her watch Dawn. There’s so much I want to say to her—so many words I want to hear her say in return, but I just rest my chin on her shoulder and wait. I wait for her to be okay with my choices.
“I want to watch her a little more,” she says, with no inkling of how she’s feeling.
It makes me nervous that I’m not going to like what she says when she does speak, so I let go of her waist, moving away from her entirely. She glances over her shoulder to see where I’m going, but doesn’t get down.
I sit down on a fresh pile of hay, close enough so I can still see her profile from where I’m lying. But as I sit here in the dark, watching her, my eyes grow heavy. Eventually I close them, but even then, all I see is her.
I’m on the verge of passing out completely when the hay next to me rustles, reminding me we have some unfinished business. “Open your eyes, Rhett.” Kinsley’s voice is small, hesitant almost. All I can hear is her breathing mixed with some nervousness.
I turn my head toward her. Normally, she’s pretty easy to read, but right now, I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Whatever it is, I want her to open up to me. “I should have asked you before I named the horse.”
She traces the logo on my shirt with her finger, shaking her head in disagreement. “The horse is perfect. I love her name, but it’s not even about the horse—not really, anyway.”
“You’re not going to run?”
“I’m still here aren’t I?” She tucks her hair behind her ear, refusing to hide behind it like I’ve seen her do before. She’s letting me in.
“You are, but I would have gone after you if you weren’t. I’d fight for you if I had to, Sunny.”
She gives me a shy smile before lying down next to me on top of the hay. I’m comforted by the fact that she needs to be close to me. Her head finds the crook of my arm, and her hand settles on top of my chest. I’ve never felt more at peace than I do with her wrapped around me. This is what I was waiting for—and damn, it was worth the wait.
“You’re my favorite escape, Rhett.”
“What do you mean?”
“I get caught up being an adult sometimes, always worrying like a parent would, since I don’t have any, but you make me feel like a teenager again. I thought those days were over for me.”
“I like who you are, Sunny. You are grown up for your age, but it’s not a bad thing. You’ve adjusted. Nobody can blame you for that.”
“Thank you. Your opinion means the most.”
“Why?”
“Because I sorta kinda like you.”
“Only sorta kinda? I’m going to have to step up my game then.” She giggles in my arms, and I pull her on top of me, our bodies completely flush against one another. “Tonight has been crazy stupid.”
Her breath tickles my neck when she responds, “Is that good or bad?”
I can’t help but laugh. Nothing about tonight has been bad. “It’s good. Really good.”
She snuggles against me, and I wrap my arms tighter around her. “What was it like being on the field? I want to hear your side of it. I know what I saw was pretty amazing.”
“It probably sounds ridiculous, but the game was so much better with you in the stands watching me. The plays were working, just like they did in practice, I scored a shit-ton, and you were wearing my number. It was insane.”
“That does sound crazy stupid.”
“No, it was crazy stupid because I knew you saw it all. That’s what made me feel like a rockstar. Everyone else faded into the background.”
“You don’t have to impress me, Rhett. Remember, we agreed this isn’t about the guy on the field—even though he’s really hot.”
Those two sentences slice through me. She gets it. She sees both sides of me. “And that’s exactly how I want it, but it wasn’t the game that made tonight perfect. It was you, Sunny.”
“Me?”
I have to make her understand what she means to me. She deserves to hear how needed she is—especially in my world. “Nobody else has a clue I sleep on a bed that looks like a bird nest, that I own a horse I named after a girl I was crushing on, or how much I love photography. Everyone at school thinks they have me figured out—that all I care about is football and being popular.”
Before I can say another word, she lifts her head from my chest, her brow furrowed. “They couldn’t be more wrong if they tried, Rhett. You’ll laugh, but I always felt like there was something you were hiding. As soon I saw you at school, in the darkroom, I was determined to find out what made you tick.”
“Really?” I had no idea she even thought about me let alone wanted to dig deeper into my world.
She nods her head. “Really. You were never an asshole or arrogant, but there was a time I wouldn’t have considered you approachable. Even on the first day, in the darkroom, a part of me still felt that way. But you treat others with respect no matter who they are—even the nerds and misfits who don’t fit into any group at school. They aren’t invisible to you. You’ve made me feel welcome, and I won’t forget that.”
Listening to her perception of me, blows me away. The way she’s noticed little details, or subtle changes I’ve been working on, even surprises me. “Sunny, we’re still getting to know each other, but already, you know more about me than anyone else. My own parents don’t even know everything about me. Like everyone else, they only see the athlete most of the time. Whether I play another down of football or not, I don’t want that to be what I’m remembered for. Because in the end, it’s just a game.”
“You’re talented, Rhett. You should use football to get you to where you want to be. Think of the free ride to college—all the experiences you could have simply because you’re better than ninety percent of other kids your age. You’d be debt free once you graduate and free to live life however you wanted.”
I can’t help my smile. She’s in parent mode and doesn’t even realize it. “That sounds like something my guidance counselor told me.”
She moves away, like she’s going to get up, but I pull her back to me. “I wasn’t insulting you. It’s good advice.”
Looking determined as ever, she nods her head. “Damn right it is.”
Now we’re both laughing, and the friction she’s creating, almost has my eyes rolling back in my head. Focus, Rhett. “I just want you to live it up this year. These are supposed to be the best years of our lives. Ones we’re going to look back on when we’re older and laugh about. We owe it to our forty-year-old selves to be complete assholes for a few months.”
She’s quiet for a few seconds, but then says, “Maybe that should be my mission this year. Balls to the walls while I can.”
“Balls to the walls. I like the sound of that. Do I get to help you?”
“Yes.” She leans down to press a soft kiss to my cheek. “You have a little freckle right there. I like kissing it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, but I’ll need you to force me to live in the moment—to make sure I’m not acting like a boring parent. Think you can do that?”
This will be fun. There’s so much I can show her, teach her, have her experience. “I know I can.”
“Good. I’ll hold you to it.”
I exhale and once again, I’m at peace with the girl in my arms. “You have no idea how refreshing you are, Sunny. I can’t do the superficial bullshit anymore. All I want is to be me—whether the rest of the school likes it or not. I’m having fun again. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve said that?”
“I guess I thought since you were so popular you had everything you wanted. I didn’t get it until now.”
“I have everything I want now.” I squeeze her a little tighter so she knows I’m talking about her. Then, I laugh, thinking of my dad’s face when I introduced her to him earlier tonight. “My dad likes you.”